I Love Meeses To … Death

Always loved this Halloween bumper from Cartoon Network. When you think about it, those two mice were always pretty damn scary.

Trivia Rankings: 30 October 2019

It was a scaaary night for trivia but a boo-tiful crowd of Quizlings – yeah, okay, I’ll stop that now. It’s even getting on my nerves.

It was an All Hallow’s Eve Eve trivia night. Thanks to all who came out to play. A few even in costume (yip yip).

Next week begins Newbvember! Bring a newbie with you to play and get a raffle ticket (the newb gets one too). There will be a raffle each week for a lovely gift card. Spread the word.

This week, we savored flavors of the season (PSL, anyone?), waited in the most sincere pumpkin patch and got the lowdown on Pierre Delecto. Plus there was this Halloween memory…

Now let’s meet the teams that came to play. How’d you do?

‘Ween Fever	68
Pennywise, Clown Foolish	66
Legend/Tiegen 2020	65
We DO Want Candy, Barbara	63
Houston Trashtros	63
Losers	61
Night Meryl On Elm Streep	61
Ghost Bethsters	59
Trick Or Trivia	59
Chris’ New Sweater	55
It’s Been Ukraining All Day	52
Throw The Dog A Bone Spur	51
Goal: Not Last	48
Daddy Dragon 39	47
Donald Trumpkin	46
Trump’s Baghdaddy Issues	38
Gordo’s Crew	32

TEN MORE BAD THINGS ABOUT HALLOWEEN

Like I said: I love Halloween! It’s the most wonderful time of the year (in spite of what you may have heard in popular song). But like soap on your windows and TP in your yard, there are always things that can dampen your holiday spirits. Kinda like a rotten apple lurking amongst the Romes in your bobbing tub, here are TEN MORE BAD THINGS ABOUT HALLOWEEN.

Candy Corn. I come not to bury candy corn but to praise it. Why people want to turn this delicious confection into the fruit cake of All Hallow’s Eve is beyond me. There’s tons of worse candy out there – Now And Laters, Necco Wafers, Nik-L-Nips and black licorice – to hate on. Stop with the candy corn defamation.

Frankenberry and Count Chocula. These cereals rule. Yet they are only available during the Halloween season. Why, General Mills?  Why? These breakfast monster cereals should be available ALL YEAR ROUND!!!

THE 13 WORST THINGS ABOUT HALLOWEEN

Don’t get me wrong. I love Halloween! The candy, the costumes… well, hey, that’s pretty much enough to make a party in my book. But like any party, all it takes is one gropey uncle or one spiked punch bowl to make it a miserable experience. So that’s why I think it’s important to take note of what ruins a good Halloween. Like the Special Dark lurking in a bag of Hershey’s miniatures, here are the 13 WORST THINGS ABOUT HALLOWEEN.

TV episodes where all the people have costumes far cooler and more expensive than real folks would ever have. It’s a cool sitcom contrivance: the high school, college or office Halloween party. It’s topical and can get you a decent promotional push. But almost every time, the attendees are depicted wearing get-ups that would make even the late Stan Winston envious. Theatrical make-up, tailor-made costumes. In real life, it takes lots of time and money to make a really good Halloween costume. And I’m not talking about taping some candy wrappers and a soda cup to your shirt and going as a movie theatre floor. Something really cool can cost you big bucks or a good weekend or two if you’re making it yourself. And yet every Saved By The Bell and 90210 has these kids running around dressed up like they’ve spent eight hours in the make-up trailer preparing to be an extra in Lord of the Rings.

Trivia Rankings: 23 October 2019

Thanks to all the Quizlings who came out to play this week. Reminder that next week will be an All Hallow’s Eve Eve Extravaganza. The following week, we’ll kick off Newbvember – bring a newbie with you to play Wednesday Night Trivia during November and you’ll both get entered into a weekly raffle. We’ll throw some gift cards your way and maybe some other stuff, who knows? The point is: spread the word and bring those newbies in Newbvember!

This week, there was pachyderm royalty, little Latin grapes and lachrymatory tunes. Plus there was this moving musical moment…

Now let’s see the team rankings for the week. How’d you do?

Baking Soda Bonanza	70
60 Is Just A Number … a Really BIG Number	69
Happy Birthday, Matt	67
Squid Crow Flow	63
Who Is John Bercow?	61
Whatever Floats Your Goat	60
My Favorite Fall Outfit Is Har-Vest	59
Southpoint Break	57
The Plumpkins	57
Did We Just Give New Mexico Back?	55
Queen	54
Prestige Worldwide	50
Spooky Season	45
Dynomight	31
Gordo’s Crew	30

Movie Rebuff

It was summer of 1989 and I’m at my friend Eric’s birthday party. I liked Eric; he had a hot mom. And so, for his birthday, his hot mom took about a half dozen of us kids out for pizza and a movie. I wanted to see Ghostbusters II because that first one was so awesome (at the very least, maybe that new Batman thing people were talking about) … only I got overruled and outvoted and we ended up seeing Troop Beverly Hills at the dollar cinema, an experience I only barely survived by rooting for the Red Feathers, the rival scout group.

Seriously! Troop Beverly Hills! How awful is that!

Eric’s hot mom didn’t even sit with us.

FIVE RANDOM FIVE

 

Five Signs Your Gardener Hates You

Hedges trimmed into shape of a middle finger

Your koi pond is full of piranha

“Flowers” look suspiciously like poison ivy

Grass hasn’t been mowed since the Reagan administration

All the fertilizer he uses is his own

 

Five Deadly Sandwiches

BLT-IED

Peanut butter and gelignite

Semiautomatic shawarma

Tuna fission bomb

Sloppy OJ

 

Five Ridiculous Stereotypes

Norwegians are the worst forklift operators in the world

Kalahari Bushmen can’t parallel park worth a damn

Buddhist monks think renter’s insurance is a rip off

Virgos will make dentist appointments and cancel them at the last minute

Mimes smell like sweat and peppermint

 

Five TV Jobs I Think I’d Hate

Bus driver (Ralph Kramden, The Honeymooners)

Shoe salesman (Al Bundy, Married… with Children)

Butcher (Sam, The Brady Bunch)

Propane salesman (Hank Hill, King of the Hill)

Real Housewife (any location)

 

Five Really Bad Reasons to Donate a Kidney

Someone triple dog dared you

Thought it was a good idea after about 80 beers

Horoscope said, “Give of yourself today.”

Wanted to impress Jodie Foster

Gall bladder and kidney couldn’t co-exist peacefully – and one had to go!

 

16 October Trivia Rankings

Man, I love my Quizlings! You guys never cease to surprise me. Last week, we had a four-way tie for first; this week, we had a four-way tie for third place! Very close game, no matter how you slice it.

Remember: November is Newbvember! Bring a newbie to play our brand of triviawesomness and there could be prizes in store. Also, bonus hint: keep in mind any hall of fame that has nominees or inductees is fair game. (Personal note: the word and and an & mean the same thing.)

This week, we attended a mad tea party, celebrated women in Hollywood and roomed with Paddington. Also, there was this seasonal tune …

Now, check out the team rankings for the week. We’ll do it again in sebben.

My Team Has Deserted Me	67
Wasted Potential	66
The Grouches	65
James and the Pro China Speech	65
Josh Isn’t Here To Edit Down Our Team Name. Sorry!	65
Retiring On Our Trivia Winnings	65
Laura Joins AARP	64
Mao ZeBron	63
A Dot For My Birthday	62
Bird Down	61
Trump’s Tiny Hands	60
Don’t Be A Tough Guy Dont Be A Fool	58
Krav Ma-Gods	57
When It Ukraines It Pours	56
Royal Canin Mother & Baby Cat	50
Gordo’s Crew	48
El Camino	36

Room With Eschew

I keep seeing this excessively pretentious commercial for Marriott …

And in between eye rolls so massive I’m in danger of seeing the back of my head I can’t help but every time I see it scream, “IT’S JUST A BLOODY HOTEL!” It’s not VR or nirvana or some sort of rent-by-night paradise, it’s just a stupid hotel. Pricey, yes, but it is a hotel and only a hotel. It will not change your life. It will not inspire you. You won’t fly or hover. You’ll just hope the drunk people in the hallway shut the hell up because it’s after midnight and you have a meeting in the morning and if they do then maybe you can finally get some sleep on this mattress which in spite of its pompous name is still a hotel bed and it’s not your regular bed so you toss and turn – and is it 6am already?! Dammit.

Stupid affected hotel ad. Just tell me where the ice machine is and don’t list the titles of my in-room movie purchases on my bill, okay?

9 October Trivia Rankings

Where’d the people go? Seriously, a lot less Quizlings than last week. I have to assume we have a large Jewish contingent that was away atoning. G’mar Hatimah Tovah!

For those that were there – wow, a very close game and the second four-way tie for first place this year (perhaps, ever).

What’d we talk about? Some Down Under geography, some filthy rich US Americans and some burger chain role playing. And there was this seasonal song …

Now, let’s see who did what to whom and when …

Pumpkin Spice Spam … Too Far?	69
And The Award Goes To La La Land	69
U-Kraine’t Always Get What You Want	69
New Car Smell	69
Kurds Miss D-Day Landing Due To Bone Spur Epidemic	67
Be Kind	66
The Mandate Of Heaven	64
Shofar So Good	63
Give Us A Dot, Dammit Please	61
Saturn Just Mooned Jupiter	60
Disco Didn’t Die; It Was Murdered	55
All My Friends Are Late	49
Gordo’s Crew	48
Uncooperative Crusties	46
Trump’s Tiny Hands	46