Archive for January, 2016

Hooked On A Philly

January 29, 2016

I’ve never honestly given a visit to Philadelphia a second thought until I saw this fun tourism ad for the City of Brotherly Love…

But seriously – giant cheesesteaks fightin’ a behemoth Ben Franklin?, here I come!



January 27 Trivia Rankings

January 28, 2016

Thanks to all the Quizlings who came out to play. The questions were all good this week; we just learned Sparky can be forgetful.

First, read Edward Lear’s famous nonsense poem, then check out the Raleigh bug survey and, finally, watch Rihanna’s video:

Now, here are the full rankings for all the teams:

Señor Juan Cadaver 70
Abe Vigoda Died. How Could They Tell? 68
Not Endorsed By Sarah Palin 64
Rage Against The Vending Machine 63
Too Hungry To Think Of A Team Name 63
Drunk Fansicle 62  (tie)
Panther Nation 62  (tie)
The Red Queens 61
We’re Just Here For The Brownie 60
Vowels As Consonauts 59
Crouching Trivia Team, No Tables 57
A Snow Bank Took My Parking Spot 53
The Trivia Trifecta 52
Steve Thinks He’s Better Than Us 51
Where Our Pitchers At? 48
Professional Masticator 47
Sarah Palin LOL – We’re Political 45
Endorsed By Sarah Palin 42

Can’t Weather All Get Along?

January 25, 2016

Due to the weather, I’ve heard the media use the term “black ice” more times than I care to count in the last 48 hours. As such, I can never hear it without recalling this Key & Peele sketch…

Ball Game

January 23, 2016

Is this the oddest, most hilarious PSA ever? Not sure. But it involves a sports term I really wasn’t very familiar with (although it didn’t prevent me from getting the point pretty well) and a self-administered exam that should be done privately.

January 20 Trivia Rankings

January 20, 2016

First off, mea cupla. I screwed up. Even if I stand by the question – I should have had the sense to toss it before I even asked it, to explain the category better and to just generally do a hundred other things that would have made the evening less tainted. If it helps (and it should), I have personally gone over all the scores and all the answer sheets and if I had thrown out the iffy question the top three would have remained the same. So, no one went home with a gift card they did not earn.

Still. Apologies. I hate that I disappointed anyone (I’m a pleaser) and I hate kicking myself for what in 20/20 hindsight seems obvious but at the moment less so (my own worst critic). I’ll do better in future and, if I don’t accomplish that goal, rest assured I tried.

Meanwhile, here’s that Prez on the State Flag…

Beskrivning Washington state flag.png

And click HERE for the CDC report on STDs.

Now, here are the ranking for all the Quizling teams…

Teachers Like Snow Days Too 66
Time For Milk Sandwiches 61
Snapes On A Plane 59
Well Hung Jury 58
Fresh Pb20 Imported From Flint, Michigan 55
6 -7 Inches 51
Pity points … We need some 51
I Can See Trump’s Toupee From Alaska 50
Gotta Get Bread And Milk 47
Every Day Should Be Hump Day 46
Palin Trumps Cruz 44
No More Milk, No More Bread 44
Feastmode 43
We Burned The Phone Book For Warmth 42
Celebrating 90 Years Of Awesome 41
City Girls Just Seem To Find Out Early 41
Blizzard 2016 40
Daddy’s On Doody Again 38
8 Of Clubs, Your Order’s Ready 38
Quack 36

People I Hate #221 (In A Series)

January 19, 2016

Who: The guy who fills up his cup at the convenience store soda fountain, drinks half of it and refills it before paying.

Why: He takes the cup and loads it with his soft drink of choice. Then, there’s this slight shifty-eyed glance around to see if he’s being watched and –bang – he downs a large portion of the pop and places the cup back under the spout to fill it once more. That’s when he makes his way to the register to pay.

How I justify it: He acts like he’s tasting it to see if the convenience store dispensed liquid meets his delicate sensibilities and satisfies his gourmand-like taste buds but we all know THE SUMBITCH IS STEALING!

Oh! Susanna

January 17, 2016

It was 1991. I went to see Don Henley in concert. It was a very good show but the most memorable part of the performance was the opening act: Susanna Hoffs. The Bangles had recently disbanded and Hoffs had released her first album. As such, she was touring to promote it. Now, I’ve always fancied Ms. Hoffs; she’s a lovely and accomplished woman and, as the breakout star of the Bangles, Susanna was certainly a major talent. But from the twelfth row that August night something magical happened. After singing a few selections from her solo effort and even a choice Bangles hit or two, Ms. Hoffs launched into a cover of the Bad Company tune Feel Like Makin’ Love. And she didn’t just sing the song; she undressed that song and made sweet, sweet love to it. For the next five minutes, I stood transfixed as this pop goddess writhed in the spotlight and seduced me with her voice, her body, her music. It was sexy, it was steamy and it was the highlight of my young life. As Susanna Hoffs sang, “Baby, when I think about you, I think about loooooo-oooo-ooove,” I knew it was aimed directly at me. And when she punctuated her vocal pronouncement with the come-hither overture of “Feel like makin’ love, feel like makin’ love, feel like makin’ love, feel like makin’ love, I feel like makin’ love to you,” I was no longer a boy. Oh sure, I had previously known the pleasures of the female flesh in extremely carnal ways but as Susanna Hoffs sang this ode to sexual intercourse it became obvious to me that prior to that moment I was not a man. So thank you, my dear Susanna – thank you for making me a man. Perhaps not in the way I would have chosen in my wildest dreams but in a way that was all too right and appropriate for me in that particular moment in time.

January 13 Trivia Rankings

January 13, 2016

How many languages must I butcher in the name of good trivia? Well, we can cross Español off the list after Wednesday night, Quizlings. Still, major cultural incidents aside, I think it was a fun night of Tomato Jake’s trivia. We’ll do more next week.

Meanwhile, check out all the Top 200 albums of 2015 … and that Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots commercial…


Now, here are the team rankings for the week…

Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them 71
We Don’t Bowie Under Pressure 65
Steve Harvey Says RIP Mick Jagger 62
Silent Husbands 61
Iran Releases Hot Seamen 60
Abandonment Issues 59
All Different Directions 58
Came All The Way From Boston … For The Pizza 57
Better Odds Than Powerball 56
If We Win The Billions, We Won’t Be Here Next Week 56
I Would Be Afraid Of Spiders From Mars 55
Virginia Wolves 54
Boats & Hos 54
Forget The Brownie, We Want A Powerball Ticket 54
Team Name Here 54
Drinkin’ Lawyers 50
Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars 50
Cotton-Headed Ninny Muggins 45
Five Females And A Fetus 44
Not So Fab Five – Down Like The Dow 43
We Don’t Stand A Chance Against These Old People 39



Life Lessons

January 11, 2016

“I was taught very early that I would have to depend entirely upon myself; that my future lay in my own hands.” — Darius Ogden Mills

Yeah.  I learned the same thing in my teen years, too.


January 9, 2016

Five More of My Favorite Sci Fi Clichés

The future is the past (and vice versa)

It all happened in the blink of an eye

Groundbreaking scientist/doctor thinks outside the box is killed by said box

Aliens visited Earth eons ago and that why they look like us or us them

Everything you know it is about to change


Five Business I Once Thought Were Real People

Sherwin Williams

Baskin Robbins

Bennon Jerry

Hewlett Packard

General Mills


Five Countries That Sound Like Food







Five Rarely Used Luncheon Meats


Palmolive Loaf


Scorned beef

Hidethe Salami


Five Mistakes I’ll Never Make Again

Locking keys in car on first date

Trusting a scientologist

Not reading the list of ingredients

Buying the Extended Warranty