Archive for September, 2019

Round One (09/22/20)

September 30, 2019

Eleven questions. Five minutes to complete.

1. In what year did the Black Sox scandal occur where Eight Chicago White Sox agreed to throw World Series? [if no one gets it exactly, the closest teams get the point]

2. On the TV show Dexter’s Laboratory, what was the name of Dexter’s ditzy older sister?    

3. Use an person’s name to finish the title of this 1995 Patrick Swayze film: To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything, ______.     

4. No Souvenirs, Come To My Window and Like the Way I Do are singles released by what American singer-songwriter? [full name] 

5. Who wrote the 1937 novel Their Eyes Were Watching God?

6. What is the name of the Wonder Twins’ pet space monkey on the All-New Super Friends Hour? [spelling must be exact]     

7. What WWII general, who died in 1981, was the last surviving 5-star commissioned officer of the US and the first Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff?  

8. What is the state capital of Michigan?     

9. Released in 2011, The R.E.D. Album was the fourth studio album by what American rapper?        

10. Which soup company is older – Progresso or Campbell’s?

11. What chemical element on the periodic table has the atomic number 8?

‘Night, Mare

September 29, 2019

Here’s a tip: Never fall for the old vet school trick that a horse’s birthdate is tattooed on the anus because once you lift that tail – BAM! – you’re kicked in the head and you wake up two days later in the infirmary with no sense of smell and the serial number of some filly’s shoe imprinted backward on your forehead.

Geez. I’ve never been able to watch Mr. Ed since.

In Space No One Can Hear You Mainstream

September 27, 2019

Ah, the wonderful 1970s! The dawn of the movie merchandising era when toymakers weren’t quite sure exactly how to market their big screen tie-ins. Like this one – the sci fi/horor flick Alien! Just something about an egg-layin’, belly-explodin’, mandible-protrudin’ killer monstrosity that screams sell me to kids and show my ads during reruns of “Scooby Doo!”

Hey there, kids! Getcher very own Alien toy! You can’t see the movie because you’re too young and it would scare the ever-loving crap outta ya, but you know it’s cool because there’s a toy! Maybe you can let your Alien toy play with your Last Tango In Paris GI Joe!

September 25 Trivia Rankings

September 26, 2019

Ten years! Hard to imagine. Many thanks to all the Quizlings who came out to celebrate with us. We had bonus rounds and gifts baskets and hotel stays and all sorts of fun and prizes. The triviawesome continues next week, folks. Don’t miss a single week!

This week, we covered everything from European monarchies to dead person poker hands, from London tube lines to Mesoamerican-themed vehicles. Plus there was this viral vidness…

Now check out the trivia rankings for the week. Good scores and a very close game. We’ll see you next Wednesday, Quizlings.

Presidential Harassment 69
Lightning In The Thunberg 68
James And A Giant Impeach 68
Ben & Jerry’s New Flavor – Impeach-mint 67
Withhold Funds? Ukrain’t Do That! 66
Bird Up! 66
Calm Down, Karen 65
Nancy Pelosi’s Backbone 64
Pumpkin Spice Impeachment – The New Fall Treat 64
Watergate For Dummies 63
A Team Has No Name 62
We’ll Have The Impeachment Cobbler Please 59
Murder, She Writ 59
Ukraine Gave Us The Dirt On Glen 58
Happy Birthday, Leslie 58
Sparky, We Need A Favor 57
Vampire Bunnies 55
Alexa Hired Me and Alexa Fired Me 53
Can I Have The Waitress’s Number? 50
El Camino 48
Sparky & Chill 44
Tre Losers 43
Borat’s Boys 37

Ten Things That Have Kept Me Awake At Night

September 21, 2019

The 2020 election

Burger King’s new Impossible Whopper (is it really plant-based or are they punking us vegetarians?)

Fear of getting Mesothelioma (thanks a bunch, late-night attorney ads!)

Harambee (Never Forget)

That Sexy Mr. Rogers costume

Near-miss asteroids

Charley Horse (painful muscle cramp)

Charlie Horse (the Shari Lewis Puppet)

That new mosquito-borne disease that kills you in, like, three days

Streaming services… because there’s a million of ‘em and I can’t get them all so which ones do I really need? Hulu? Netflix? Amazon Prime? The new Disney? And – what the hell – Apple TV? There’s an Apple TV now? I don’t even have an Apple product. Damn you to all hell, streaming FOMO!

September 18 Trivia Rankings

September 19, 2019

A lovely autumn evening and a solid night of trivia. Did you miss the fun? Well, don’t miss next Wednesday because it’s our 10th anniversary and we’re ending the Dog Days of Trivia with our gift basket raffle. That means prizes, prizes, prizes! Must be present to win and raffle tickets are still yours for the snagging if you know how.

Topics of conversation this week? Black and white bands, Chi-town MVPs and specialized medical charts. And, of course, there was this annual toy moment…

Now let’s check out the rankings for this week…

The Question Blockheads 69
My Name Is Sparky … And Muddy Bears Are My Favorite 68
The Procrastinators 68
4 Tickets To Paradise 67
Jake’s Lights Make Me Look Orange 59
Hateful Eight 58
Technically Alcohol IS A Solution 58
Man Fights Goat 56
Warm and Fuzzy Teddy Bears 54
Already Bored Of Education 54
The Thunder Lizards 53
Remake My Movie … Prepare To Die 49
Oil Plus One 46
Hockadays And Confused 45
Spooky Season 38
Vaguely Witty Merry Pair 36
Gordo’s Crew 34


September 16, 2019


Five Ways To Make Political Debates Better

All responses must be limited to 280 characters

Replace moderator with Lucha libre wrestler

Flub a question, do a shot

Monkeys (everything’s better with monkeys!)

Pre-empt them


Five Odd Relationship Dealbreakers

Your feng shui doesn’t match

Constantly fills DVR with repeats of Ghost Hunters

She starts dressing like your mom and calling you by your dad’s name

He sleeps with an autographed picture of Chuck Woolery

His foreplay consists solely of Travis Bickle’s “You talkin’ to me?” monologue


Five Reasons I’ve Got A Mancrush on Nathan Fillion

His rugged Canadian-bred good looks

He’s worked with Stephen Spielberg

He voiced Green Lantern in a few DC Comics animated films

He co-founded a charity to get more books into underfunded libraries

He was Mal freakin’ Reynolds on Firefly!!!!


Five Signs You’re Obsessed With Fantasy Football

Your wife asks you to take out the trash while you’re watching the game and you contact a divorce attorney

Your dogs are named Draft and King

In the last calendar year, you spent more time coming up with a team name than you did with your kids

You set your line-up instead of delivering your father’s eulogy

You call out Patrick Mahomes’ name during sex


Five Rarely Used Twitter Hashtags






Charles Schulz Would NOT Approve

September 13, 2019


I once nearly killed a man with a Snoopy Sno Cone Machine. No, I’m not saying the man had a Snoopy Sno Cone Machine and I nearly killed him. No, I had the Snoopy Sno Cone Machine and I used it to nearly kill a man. Who is not important. The details are not important. But trust me when I say that the Snoopy Sno Cone Machine may make delicious frozen treats … however, under the right circumstances, it is also a lethal weapon.

September 11 Trivia Rankings

September 12, 2019

Another wonderful night of trivia! Thanks to all the Quizlings who came out to play.

We had ice cream and fun prizes courtesy of Jon Fletcher, Realtor (thanks, Jon!) and we got to discuss wonderful topics like Twitter retirements, video game deuteragonists and pigeons on public transportation. Plus there was this classic rock memory …

SAVE THE DATE: September 25th will be a special night because we are concluding the Dog Days of Trivia with our gift basket giveaway. You must be present to win and you can still get raffle tickets the next two weeks for bringing a pooch to the patio, drawing me a picture of your pet, showing me a picture of your pet, bringing food for a Pet Pantry donation, showing me proof you donated to a certified 501 (c) pet charity, wearing clothing with a cat or dog on it – any reason I’ve offered this summer. You must be present to win but why would you miss September 25th? We are also celebrating our Tenth Anniversary that night so who knows what could happen?

Now check out this week’s rankings. See you next time!

Kings and Queens of Teenage Pangaea 63
Sharpies On Sale at Staples 62
We Just Held A Surprise Vote 61
Jon Desserted Us 61
Is This Trivia Or Musical Chairs? 60
Pourriez-vous  S’il Vous Plaît  Répéter Cela En Française 57
Boring John And Filthy Mouth 57
One Last Trivia 56
And I Oop Troop 55
When In Doubt, Pick C 53
Chrissy Tiegen Is My Hero 52
Boltin’ Bolton 52
Birds Aren’t Real 51
Sofa King Wit Tea 49
5 Of Spades Your Order’s Ready 49
The Achemists 47
And In Last Place 46
Leapsters 44
Goal: Not Last 44
Motaur 42

Hey Solstice-uh!

September 9, 2019

It’s been nearly four months since the Solstice and I’ve still got these damn Druids camped out on my lawn. Sure, they keep the chanting to a minimum and pick up after themselves – and I really don’t mind the female nudity – but they’ve got that Wicker Man of theirs about 90% complete and I’m beginning to get a little worried.

Seriously. Do I call Orkin to deal with these guys or what?