October 18 Trivia Rankings

October 19, 2017

The turnout was light but the competition fierce nonetheless. Thanks to all who showed up to play. We’re doing it again next week so be there or be square.

What did we talk about? General Mills’ monster cereals, state fair attendance and Uranus (but only by omission).

Plus there was this hooky-playin’ fool…

And now here are the rankings for the week.

Happy Birthday, Zac Efron (And Laura) 70
One Week: One Wedding, One Anniversary And A Baby 67
Marshall Thurgood 61
J For Genius 59
Does The Halloween Store Carry The Sparky Masks? 58
I Wish I Had A 3rd Joint In My Leg 56
Bloodbath & Beyond 55
MacGyver Attitude, MacGruber Brains 53
Unemployed LinkedIn All-Stars 50
We’re Here For The Beer 46
Acccording To US VI Residents, The President Of The US Virgin Islands Is A Huge Moron 43
Angela Lansbury Is the Missing Link 38
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Hang It All!

October 17, 2017

I was in the mall the other day and I walked by a frame shop. Outside said boutique was a signed which proudly proclaimed:

DRY MOUNTING ON THE SPOT

Now, I know exactly what they mean, but please …

There MUST be a better way of phrasing that.

People I Hate #333 (In A Series)

October 14, 2017

Who: The guy who says “Don’t leave me hangin’” when he tries to high-five you.

Why: It doesn’t matter where you are – chatting in a parking lot, sitting in a staff meeting, walking across campus – someone will say something or do something and he’ll feel the need to punctuate the moment with a high-five. The moment doesn’t need it. The high-five is awkward, unprovoked and completely egregious. But there it is, suspended aloft, awaiting reciprocation. The last thing you want to do is high-five this douchebag. Maybe you don’t like him or perhaps it’s just that the high-five is so misplaced and ridiculous that by even acknowledging it you risk lowering yourself to his idiotic level. Yet there it is, that plaintive hand and that challenging entreaty: Don’t leave me hangin’! And still you should. You should leave him hangin’. He’s a tool with absolutely no ability to read a social situation and you should totally leave him hangin’ in any way that concept can be interpreted.

How I justify it: If the situation warranted a high-five, I would have already freakin’ high-fived you and so you wouldn’t need to beg me to validate your stupid existence.

October 11 Trivia Rankings

October 11, 2017

What a great night for trivia! The rain stayed away despite Accuweather’s predictions and Greg Fishel’s curse (it’s personal, I tella ya!). We learned a plethora of things such as The Weeknd is not a rapper (nor apparently a good speller), McDonald’s only thinks it gets the joke (more Szechuan sauce, please) and some people think Wonder Woman eating candy is a pretty damn awesome sight (guilty). Plus there was this:

FYI – 23 million and counting.

Spread the word, Quizlings! See you next week.

Now here are this week’s team rankings. How’d you do?

J Is For Genius 71
Executive Pro-Douche-er 69
Trust The Coin 68
Finally! Moron Is An Acceptable Term For Someone In Office 68
Donald’s Daycare 66
I Was Gonna Order Szechuan Sauce Instead I Ordered Worcestershire Sauce 62
Black and Tan 60
Baby’s Day Out 60
Where’s Fall, Y’all? 59
Shelby 59
The Szechuan Incident 58
Jim Mattis, John Kelly For The Block 56
Flannel and Boots 56
Dove Retro Edition 56
Fall Breakers 55
Quick! We Need A Baby Name! 54
The Gang’s All Here 52
Four Squares 50
Bill’s Mafia 50
Our Casey’s Always Late 50
Trivia Game Strong Like US Soccer 45
Trivia Newton-John 27
174 22

Recipe for Disaster

October 10, 2017

Really? Someone thought this was a good idea?

Disgusting.

Relative Stupidity

October 6, 2017

My cousin Daniella gave me a picture of herself for my twelfth birthday. I was a little creeped out by that, even then. My aunt Siobhan told me with a giggle that Daniella had a crush on me. Double creeped out by that. Yet when I saw Daniella a few years after college at a family reunion, I was surprised to find that the previously awkward preteen with braces and Coke bottle lens glasses was now a complete and utter hottie. Lemme tell you – the thoughts that went through my mind that day … man, still very much creeped out by those!

October 4 Trivia Rankings

October 4, 2017

A lovely night of trivia for all who came to play (missing some regulars – come back soon). We got the Nobel prize for physics, sang the body electric and realized Clint Eastwood is old. Plus there was this loveable scamp:

Now here are this week’s team rankings…

For Once We Can All Agree With Rex Tillerson 68
Brownies: The Viagra of Trivia 66
Eating Pizza On National Taco Day 64
We Wanted A Funny Team Name But The World’s Too Depressing 63
Hurricane Bigmouth Strikes Again 63
Tom Petty and the Heartbroken 59
Lettuce Turnip the Beet 54
Seb Stood Up Allison ‘s Parents 53
The Wee Monsters 52
865-919-7815 52
So You’re Saying There’s A Chance 48
Toxic 46
The Four Labateers + 1 46
Los Narcos 33

Random Neurons Firing

October 3, 2017

My mind is really a scary place. It’s like an attic so filled with clutter that you daren’t set foot inside lest you risk damage by a towering mound of Christmas decorations from 1986. Open it up and who knows what will come tumbling out.

For instance, I’m in bed the other night. I’m reading, finishing off What Happened … I stayed up much, much too late (as usual) and was merely whiling away the minutes until slumber. Eventually I drift off to sleep.

Then bam! Suddenly I’m wide awake! I’ve been asleep for less than 30 minutes but now I’m alert and panicked and my heart is beating a mile a minute. I can’t fall back to sleep and I stay awake for an hour. And one thought keeps bouncing round my noggin like a pea in an oil drum:

Whatever happened to that guy in those coffee commercials who was hitchhiking across America with his dog? Did he make it? Is he still traveling? Did he fall on hard times and have to eat his dog like Lewis and Clark did? Who knows the answer? Can I do a Google search?

Sigh. Pretty pathetic, I know. But it’s my mind and welcome to it.

Kids Today…

September 30, 2017

Whatever happened to Libby the Kid? (That’s Billy the Kid spelled sideways, sort of.) I mean, back in the 70s, he was always around, touting those Libbyland dinners on TV. Then – bam! Nothing.

I heard a rumour that he got into a drunken knife fight with Twinkie the Kid at Studio 54 and died. If anyone knows, drop me a line. I mean, I know Mr. Bubble is living in a retirement home in Boca Raton and Mr. Salty is buried in Arlington and the Frito Bandito was deported and King Vitaman – well, the less said about that megalomaniacal schmuck, the better…

But Libby the Kid? Man. Whatever happened to him?

September 27 Trivia Rankings

September 28, 2017

Eights years, Quizlings! And it seems like only yesterday we started this l’il Q&A party we like to call Tomato Jake’s Wednesday Night Trivia. It was actually 2009 which reminds me of the quote often attributed to Groucho Marx: “Time flies like an arrow – fruit flies like a banana.”

Thanks to all who came out to play and celebrate with us. Some lucky Quizling got a hotel night’s stay for two. Others walked off with gift cards to Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks, Tomato Jake’s bucks and some free ice cream coupons. Plus there was a nifty Mario t-shirt and some other cool swag. Plus: AUDIO QUIZ!!!!

If you missed it, you miss tons of fun including huge-ass diamonds, Galilean moons and the devil at the United Nations. Plus there was this lovely meme:

dysentery

Now let’s see how the teams stacked up…

No, Our Team Is Not Sponsored By Adidas 62
Corruption In College Basketball? Who Knew? 60
Target Is Walmart For Democrats 60
We Don’t Have To Use Our Phones 53
Scruffy’s Great Escape 47
Nailed It! 47
Puppies vs. Babies 45
How Soon We Forget The Bowling Green Massacre 44
The Price Is Wrong 44
I Thought You’d Be Taller 43
U Bum 42
It’s Britney, Betch! 39
All The King’s Men 35
Keeping Up With The Kardashians – I Literally Kannot 29
Los Narcos 24