December 23, 2020

Attention, Quizlings!!!! Tomato Jake’s is bringing back LIVE Wednesday Night Trivia on March 24th! Join us for the full Live Triviawesome Experience each week at Tomato Jake’s Pizzeria in Durham, NC! Follow us on social to get the latest updates! And join me on Twitter each Tuesday night at 7:30 for Virtual Trivia!!

Of Course, Of Course…

March 4, 2021

I refuse to fall victim to clickbait but I am DYING to know why there’s a picture of Mr. Ed and Wilbur Post next to a headline proclaiming “The Surprising Thing That Makes Men More Attractive To Women.”

Somehow I fear “knowing exactly who the hell Mr. Ed and Wilbur Post are” is not that surprising thing.

Virtual Trivia Rankings (3/02/21)

March 3, 2021

Just a few more weeks until LIVE Trivia returns to Tomato Jake’s! I hope you can join us because I need some more fun in my life and I want to share! I plan to continue the Virtual for the time being so join me each Tuesday on Twitter, won’t you?

This week, very close game! But no tiebreaker needed. We chatted about stolen pooches, split duos and one songs. Plus there was this thirst quencher from the garden …

Now here are the rankings for this week. See you next time!

Laura’s Team 34
Raging Ox 29
The Timelords 28
Pointless Pizza Is Square27
Sparky’s Malarkey 20

FIVE RANDOM FIVE (Star Wars Edition)

March 1, 2021

Five Star Wars Desserts

Gran Muffin Tarkin

Attack of the Scones

Obi Flan Kenobi

Salacious B. Crumbcake

The Empire Strikes Baklava

Five Chewbacca Complaints

WTH? Han and Luke get medals but not me.

Stormtroopers cheat at cards

Life Day still not a recognized Galactic holiday

Horny Ewoks

When he passes out after a night of drinking in the cantina, Han shaves him down like a Kowakian monkey-lizard.

Five Rejected Ad Slogans For “The Force Awakens”

Sith Happens

We didn’t even let George Lucas on the set

I did it all for the Wookiee

See or See Not – There Is No Try

It’ll Make You Forget The Last Three – Promise!

Five Things Darth Vader Would Never Say

Oooooo! What a pwecious widdle kitty!

Stop making fun of my sleep apnea!

One senior citizen for “Sisters.”

I wear black because it’s slimming.

My kids kissed? Actually, that’s kinda hot.

Five Signs You Are NOT A Jedi

You weren’t born a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Every time you try to pull the ol’ Jedi Mind Trick, you pee your pants.

The closest you ever got to a lightsaber fight was that time at camp in the boys’ showers.

You think you felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced … but it was just brain freeze from that ICEE.

Your name is Jar Jar Binks.

Med Men

February 26, 2021

When I was in my early 20s I went to a doctor who wasn’t a pediatrician for the first time. During the physical, he gave me the full once over and asked me the type of questions I’d never been on the receiving end of before. At one point he asked if I was “regular” but I didn’t know what that meant. I’d heard the term before but not in context. I thought he was asking me if I was gay or straight. This kind of bothered me since I felt that was crossing a line and not particularly relevant to my health. Still, I told him reluctantly that I thought I was “regular enough.” He then followed with, “How often would you say?” I was, of course, really thrown by this one but returned with a tentative, “Maybe once every few months, if I’m lucky.” The doctor looked at me, shocked, and then wrote me a prescription for the biggest industrial-strength laxative I’d wager any human ever ingested. It basically turned my digestive tract into a sluice. I lost nearly 20 pounds before we realized what the miscommunication had been.

Learned my lesson though: always lie to your physician.

Virtual Trivia Rankings (2/23/21)

February 24, 2021

Thanks to you dedicated few Quizlings who played this week’s bout of Virtual Trivia! We did need the tiebreaker so forgive me for forgetting that. Next week, I’ll include it as part of the Round One questions. Remind me if I overlook again. BTW George Washington died 14 December 1799.

I think the question, while not necessarily harder this week, didn’t actually hit anyone’s area of expertise head on. Lots of great guesses. I will note that more than one team put down Major Nelson from I Dream Of Jeannie as one of the men who walked on the moon but I couldn’t give you the point since I missed that episode). Also, while Tina Fey and Amy Poehler will host this year’s Golden Globes they last hosted in 2015 so were not among the five most recent. And based on your guesses I had to double check which teams Bobby Orr played for; I was right but all my knowledge of said hockey legend comes from the TMBG song Wicked Little Critta

Now check out the rankings for this week! See you next time, Qiuizlings!

Laura’s Team29(winner of the tiebreaker!)
The Young And The Georgeless  29
Raging Ox23
Pointless Pizza Is Square18

Just Desserts

February 22, 2021

You can sometimes return a gift that you don’t like. But you really can’t return a half-eaten ice cream cake. The guys at Carvel look at you funny like you’ve just stepped off the surface of Neptune or grown another forehead. And then Cookiepuss ends up getting shoved somewhere uncomfortable and the police get involved and then there’s handcuffing and a struggle and the inevitable perp walk on the local news, then YouTube, then CNN. It’ll all end in tears. TEARS, I tell ya!!! Sigh. Oh what the heck. Okay, Moira, I’ll eat the rest of the damn cake. I don’t want a bloody scene.

Blogs: A Quick Tutorial

February 18, 2021

The first blog was brought over from Europe in 1860. It was caught in the wild and transported via steamer to New York City where it was put on display for throngs of curiosity-seekers. After decades of captivity, it broke free during a citywide power failure and later bred with feral fanzines. The modern-day blogs are all the progeny of this original European escapee.

Virtual Trivia Rankings (2/16/21)

February 17, 2021

Hi ho, Quizlings! Another fine week of virtual trivia with the obvious need for a tiebreaker (next time, promise). Seriously, some good scores here. You want to do better? Get your friends who stink at trivia to play as their own team – then you can at least beat them!

This week, we studied legume eyewear, met Sherlock Holmes’ smarter brother and attended some TV weddings. Plus there was this 80s memory by some Genesis drummer…

Now check out the rankings for this week. See you in sebben!

Raging Ox55
Laura’s Team44
Ours Pops So Much Bigger 37
Pointless Pizza 37

Bleeding Love

February 14, 2021

When I was 10, I had a crush on a girl in my class. Her name was Tracy. We had nothing in common. In fact, I barely knew her and only became interested in Tracy because I discovered that she lived in the same apartment complex as I did. For whatever reason, in my pre-adolescent mind, I found that proximity alluring.

One day, I saw Tracy run out from behind the building across from me to the mailboxes. I quickly realized that I might be able to see which apartment she lived in (not that I would ever have done anything with that information but the knowledge itself gave me a bizarre hope) if I ran down to a better vantage point. So I did. At the moment I stood on a small hill next to building D, I could see Tracy and her mom carrying in groceries from their car into an apartment in building F. I also suddenly realized that I was exposed, as Tracy looked up and saw me. She called out my name and said hello and I replied in haste and ran off back to my apartment out of her line of sight. En route, 10 year old logic set in. If she saw me standing on that hill looking at her and I was suddenly gone then she would know that I had only gone down there to look at her. Of course, there was no way I could allow that – the sudden thought that she knew I liked her. I would be exposed and vulnerable and I couldn’t have that! So I turned around and ran back across that hill, as if to suggest I had just been running around and her seeing me was nothing more than happenstance. I then took a shortcut through a thicket of bushes and slid down a hill so that I wouldn’t have to run back in front of Tracy (not bothering to think she most likely had already entered her apartment). As I hit the ground to slide through the bushes, I scraped my hand against a bit of barbed wire someone had placed there, probably to keep kids from doing exactly what I was doing. My hand stung and I withdrew it from the pain to see the growing red gash across my palm. I rushed home, crying, learning at that young age a lesson which would only be continually reinforced throughout my lifetime:

Love hurts. And sometimes it requires a tenatus shot.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Sophie B. Good

February 11, 2021

You know, I been meaning to tell you something.

See, I’ve noticed that old dog has chained you up all right. Basically, given you everything you need to live inside a twisted cage and to sleep beside an empty rage. And the other night, I even had a dream I was your hero.

In fact, forgive me for being blunt but, damn, I wish I was your lover.  I’ll rock you till the daylight comes and make sure you are so smiling and warm. I am everything. Tonight I’ll even be your mother (if you’re into role playing). I will do such things to ease your pain. I will free your mind and you won’t feel ashamed.

Shucks, for me there is no other. You’re the only shoe that fits and I can’t imagine I’ll grow out of it.

To sum it all up one more time:

Damn! I wish I was your lover!

Just sayin’ is all.