There We Were All In One Place, A Generation Lost In Space

August 16, 2019

It seems hard to believe that it was fifty years ago we all gathered together there on Yasgur’s farm. I don’t recall much of the experience, primarily due to sleep deprivation. (Do you know how hard it is to catch forty winks when half a million hippies are groovin’ to rock music? And the music was, like, nonstop!) Still … I jotted down a few notes for my school paper. Sadly, the article was never published because the principal refused to celebrate “those counter culture weirdos.” 

Nonetheless, here are a few excerpts from my own personal Woodstock diary:

“An Aquarian Exposition: 3 Days of Peace & Music.” So says the poster. For 18 bucks, the Beatles better show up carrying the Rolling Stones, the Doors and Cream on their freakin’ shoulders!

A 20-mile traffic jam?  We are not walking all that way!

Son of a – –  We are walking all that way.

Granola sucks. Every hippie knows it and yet they treat it like it’s ambrosia. It’s not; it’s one step removed from twigs and rocks.

John Sebastian is so messed up. I’m guessing he got his Lovin’ Spoonful from Timothy Leary.

Oh, wow, this is so groovy. Like one crazy, magic love-in of freedom and beauty and peace. And I just love how all the free spirits are shedding their inhibitions along with their clothes. Nudity is love and peace and freedom and so beautiful and groovy, man, and – EEW, GOD, NO! Fat dudes should keep their tie-dyes on, man. That’s so uncool.

I could be mistaken, but I think there is a definite possibility that more than a few of these folks are a little high.

Will someone please tell Abbie Hoffman to kindly shut the fish cheer up? Read the rest of this entry »

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August 14 Trivia Rankings

August 15, 2019

What a lovely evening for trivia. Despite the threat of rain, Quizlings flocked to Tomato Jake’s to try their skill at the coveted prize of a $50 gift card. It was  a close game but we eventually found our winnah!

Thanks to the Quizlings who brought dog and cat toys to donate to charity. They received raffle tickets for their generosity. Want your raffle ticket for our Dog Days of Trivia gift basket drawing? Bring a pooch to the patio or, next week, bring a donation to the Pet Food Pantry (nonperishable unopened bags/cans only, please). One ticket per Quizling per week.

This week, we talked about constellation twins, Dickens villains and impeachable prezes. Plus there was this PSA from the past…

And an insurance pitchman with wheels…

Now let’s see how the teams ranked this time out. We’ll do it again next week, shall we?

Hauer About a Rutger Question? 71
School Supplies Make Teachers Cry 69
I’m A “Fredo” You’re Wrong – It’s Not A Slur 69
Don’t Trivia-lize Us! 68
Orange 67
Bananaphobia Is Real 65
Nerf Or Nothing 65
Sherlock Jerome’s On The Case 64
My Suicide Watch Was A Rolex 63
Randall’s Fitness Center 58
50% Lefty 56
The League of Extraordinary Guessers 55
The ™ 53
The Jonas Brothers Stole Our Answers 49
The Fartfaces 48
Yang Gang 44
Read It On Reddit 36
Last Hurrah Before College 35
Same Pizza, Different Week 32
Red Hot Trivia Peppers 31

Do Ya Feel Lucky, Punkyhead?

August 12, 2019

Moira was doing some housecleaning earlier and she discovered a certificate acknowledging my membership in the Punky Brewster Fan Club at the bottom of an old drawer. Thing is I don’t recall ever being in the Punky Brewster Fan Club. I don’t even recall ever watching Punky Brewster. I’ve been wondering if she’s punking me, no pun intended. Could she gaslighting me? I just took out a new insurance policy. But what good is that if I’m crazy? Could I somehow have blocked out my membership in the Punky Brewster Fan Club? I blocked out most of my time in Webelos and that time I accidentally voted for Nader but it just doesn’t scan that I was a Punkyhead (seriously – that’s what fans call themselves!) and don’t remember it. I think the most likely explanation is that the certificate fell through a wormhole in space-time from a parallel dimension where I did join the Punky Brewster Fan Club and somewhere there’s a me in an alternate world running around complaining that he can’t find his certificate acknowledging his membership in the Punky Brewster Fan Club.

Of course, I could be lying and I could have danced around the living room like a schoolgirl when I was reunited with that fan club card which, I might add, I could have had laminated and could be currently carrying around in my wallet.

I guess you’ll never really know.

Voltron Farce

August 10, 2019

Which one of the Voltron guys was the crotch? Sure, they said they were arms and legs and body and head but somebody had to be the crotch. Technically, it was the guy in the robot who formed the torso. I think he was the Commander but if I’d have been on that team I would have just called him Crotch Boy or Señor Taint or something. I mean, you can’t take a dude seriously if he’s a crotch, can you?

voltron-epic-pose

August 7 Trivia Rankings

August 8, 2019

Thanks for checking in, Quizlings! We had another fun week – this time, with very little math – and I just wanted to assuage any hurt feelings over the bonus round. Tough? Definitely, for some. But I don’t want anyone kicking themselves for not doing as well as they’d hoped or as other teams did. Sure, the high score this week was on the lower end of the general trend for high scores but scores overall were on par with what they often are. That may not make you feel any better but the questions are different every week and there’s always a chance next week’s quiz will swing your way. So keep coming back! It only works if you make it work … er, or something like that.

What did we talk about this time out? Soccer greats, Reagan losses and memes from Meghan. Plus there was this general cartoon stumper …

Now check out the team rankings for the week (tiebreakers factored in). See you next week!

Life Was Better Before Twitter 62
We Drink And We Don’t Know Things 61
3 Blerds and A Brad 57
Mulling It Over 56
I’d Rather Win $50 At Trivia Than $3 Million At Fortnite 53
Keep On Emu-ing! 53
August Is Shark Week 53
May Your Day Fill With Sunshine And Your Night With Moonshine 52
This Week For Sure 51
[insert clever name here] 51
Team Name 51
Yahtzee! Checkmate! Bingo! 50
Only Need 129,998 More Donors 50
39 Opossums 48
Always Give 100% Unless You’re Donating Blood 48
Stand On My Money Now I’m 6’6” 47
I Hope My Team Gets Here On Time 46
Durham and Cheese 46
We Lost Because Of Tyler 44
Trump’s Tiny Hands 44
Big Red Sausage On My Pizza 35
Blue Clouds 35

FIVE RANDOM FIVE

August 5, 2019

 

Five Novelty Songs

Junk Food Junkie (Larry Groce)

Fish Heads (Barnes & Barnes)

Der Fuhrer’s Face (Spike Jones)

Take Off (Bob & Doug McKenzie)

King Tut (Steve Martin)

 

Five Spice Girl-Seven Dwarf Hybrids

Grumpinger

Doc Scary

Baby Sneezy

Poshful

Sporthappy

 

Five Sentences I’ve Never Spoken (And Never Will)

“Fill ‘er up – with delicious goose gravy!”

“One senior ticket for Crawl, please.”

“Rookie Wookiee nookie bookie cookie Snooki.”

“Duke rules!”

“Reality television is not ruining the small screen.”

 

Five Things I Hope Scientists Never Find Cause Cancer

Chocolate

Sex

Comic Books

British comedies

Feeling superior to idiots

 

Five Movies That Sound Like They Could Be Porn

Gleaming the Cube

Romancing the Stone

The Big Red One

Feeling Minnesota

Driving Miss Daisy

 

Just Desserts

August 2, 2019

You can sometimes return a gift that you don’t like. But you really can’t return a half-eaten ice cream cake. The guys at Carvel look at you funny like you’ve just stepped off the surface of Neptune or grown another forehead. And then Cookie Puss ends up getting shoved somewhere uncomfortable and the police get involved and then there’s handcuffing and a struggle and the inevitable perp walk on the local news, then YouTube, then CNN. It’ll all end in tears. TEARS, I tell ya!!! Sigh. Oh what the heck. Okay, Moira, I’ll eat the rest of the damn cake. I don’t want a bloody scene.

Cookie Puss

July 31 Trivia Rankings

August 1, 2019

A little rain could not keep the faithful away (of course, if you’re one of the faithful and you had to stay away for another reason, you can explain when you get back). Another great week of trivia. And, yes, there was math.

The Dog Days of Trivia continue all summer long. Bring a pooch to the patio to get a raffle ticket for the end-of-summer gift basket. If you don’t have a pooch (or have one that doesn’t want to hang out with you during trivia), here are the many ways you can get a raffle ticket in August (one per Quizling per week)…

8/7 – Bring a picture of your pet

8/14 – Bring a cat or dog toy to donate to a pet charity

8/21 – Bring a donation for the Pet Food Pantry (unopened cans/bags only)

8/28 – Donate to a certified 501(c) animal charity (and show me proof)

The gift basket drawing will be in September. Stay tuned for more details (must be present to win).

This week, we went on about the Sultan of Swat, poop emojis you can eat and monster country crossover hits. And then there was this bit of celluloid lunacy …

Read the rest of this entry »

Jojo Rabbit, Your Meme Is Calling

July 30, 2019

Ah, this is brilliant. (Anyone not familiar with the Hitler Receives Bad News Meme leave now.) Taiki Waititi, director of Thor: Ragnarok and co-director of What We Do In The Shadows, is directing and starring in the upcoming film Jojo Rabbit. The premise of the film is that a young boy in the Hitler Youth gets help from his imaginary friend, Adolph Hitler. Outrageous? Tasteless? Misguided? Sure, why not? But if you see the trailer you may think the film’s worth a Fandango. Regardless of your feelings about the flick, this little bit of viral marketing that Waititi initially posted on Twitter last week is definitely gander-worthy.

People I Hate #64 (In A Series)

July 27, 2019

Who: People who get out of the car to use a drive-up ATM.

Why I Hate: There are two types of ATMs – the walk-up and the drive-up kind. The walk-up variety people understand pretty well. You drive to a place near the ATM, park, get out and use the ATM. The drive-up ATM is different as it was designed to be used while you are still in the car. It was named extremely accurately for just that purpose. And before you tell me that sometimes the passenger has to use the ATM and therefore has to get out out of the car to do it – nope not talking about that. Those people are irritating but I do not hate them (although the dbags who back into a drive-up ATM so the passenger can use it from the window can be labelled as People I Hate #64b, easily). No, no no – you know the jerks I’m talking about – they drive up to the ATM, stop a few few short and get out of the car to use a machine designed to keep them from doing that. The ATM could be located in a high traffic area where pedestrian traffic is in the way or it could be simply that by getting out of the vehicle you are breaking the flow of traffic. Does it really matter? They are getting out of the freakin’ car to use a drive-up ATM!!

How I justify it: I can’t run them down without getting charged with manslaughter so pure, unadulterated hatred is a nice back-up plan.