July 19 Trivia Rankings

July 19, 2017

Another magnificent week of trivia, my Quizlings! I hope you were able to attend. If not, there’s always next week – a week in which a Strangers Things fan gets a cool prize and you can try to make me laugh my bringing your best joke!

This week, there was talk of Spider-Man, Emmy nominations and big honkin’ piece of ice. And there was this blast from the past:

Now, here are the team rankings for the week. See you next Wednesday!

Meeting With Putin At The Waffle House 66
We Have No Idea What Happened This Week 64
GOPeeing On My Heath Care 63
George Romero: Dead Or Undead? 63
MILFs Do A Body Good 60
Our Team Is On Vacation, We’re Gonna Lose 59
Buzzfeed Says We’re Winning 59
This Election Wasn’t Even “Made In America” 59
Yay For Weiner Day 59
Art Of The Attention Span? (Not So Much) 59
You Won’t Believe The Size Of My Zucchini 59
Here For The Right Reasons 57
Collateral Damage 54
A Magician Was Driving Down The Road Then He Turned Into A Driveway 53
Spider-Pig 52
Last Week’s Third Place Team 51
Don Jr. Hopes These Four Years Are Over Soon – We Hope It’s Sooner 51
Knick Knack Paddy Whack Give The Dog A Bone 48
Hot Dogs 47
I Smell Like Beef 45
Soar High, Falcons 42
Shut The Front Door 39
They Stole Our Name 39
Duke Tennis Kid 18

Give Peas A Chance

July 17, 2017

At dinner, my son, Jake, who unlike most kids his age absolutely loves his veggies, finished all his green peas. Meanwhile, his sister, Maxine, who doesn’t throw off the finicky kid curve, hadn’t touched hers. So Jake tried to sneak a few peas off his sister’s plate but Maxine would have none of it, despite the fact he was only after the stuff she didn’t want. His mom and I chastised him for bothering his sister and told him to stay on his own plate. Jake then shouted, “But I want HER peas!” To which my wife fired back, “Well, date a few sorority chicks when you get to college.”

Man, I love that woman.

If Life Gives You Lemons…

July 14, 2017

It’s happened again.

lemonade_stand

Every summer there’s at least one story about some kid somewhere in these United States of America who sets up a lemonade stand and runs afoul of “the man.” You know, some bureaucrat who wants to rain on some poor snowflake’s free trade parade by citing laws and ordinances and zoning and sanitation and crap. Bad, bad Big Brother and its rush to squash the hopes of some moppet with grand plans and a pitcher of sour, lemony goodness in a front yard or at the end of a cul-de-sac. Let wee Susie sell her delicious refreshment, the public cries! Leave little Larry alone and allow him to learn the free enterprise system in a wholesome and innocent way!

Of course it’s all utter shite. Read the rest of this entry »

July 12 Trivia Rankings

July 13, 2017

Thanks to all the Quizlings who braved a sweltering summer evening to play the Triangle’s Best Trivia™! Yep, it was a toughie but that sorta thing builds character. And there was ice cream (though not Neapolitan).

We talked of ducklings, the Eighth Wonder of the World and “new” US states. Plus there was this cinematic disaster:

Now, how’d your team do this week? Here are the rankings…

Donny, You Are Out Of Your Element 62
Isle Of Lucy 59
Potent Potables 58
From Russia With Love 58
Phelps vs. Shark: Go Shark! 57
Men Are from Mars. Poop is From Uranus. 57
Beyond Treasonable Doubt 56
Lon & Meredith Are In Brazil. We’re Gonna Lose 54
When Will It Be Tiffany’s Turn To Embarrass US? 52
On A Collusion Course 52
Quit Russian My Emails 51
Toon Squad 51
If It’s Later In The Summer, I Love It 51
You Go Into The Bathroom American, You Come Out Russian.
                 What Are You in the Middle? Committing Treason! 49
Old Kids On The Block 47
3 Of Clubs, Your Order Is Ready 44
Where Are The Kids? 43
Came For The Answers – Instead I Got Pizza 43
We’re The Ones Who Didn’t Get Ice Cream Last Week 🙂 41
Much Ado About Nothingburgers 41
60% Of The Time We Win Every Time 39
Danes 38
Will & Cam 36
Port And Starburst 34
Monstars 29

Din Mother

July 10, 2017

webelo

One time, in fifth grade, I was having a cub scout meeting at my place and this neighbor came over – I think his name was Mr. Hopnagle – and he complained about all the noise we kids were making. (We lived in a crappy apartment with paper-thin walls, a far cry from the crappy apartment with cardboard-thin walls I live in today.) My mom, whom I suspect had been putting up with a pack of screaming Webelos only by way of a bottle of Jim Beam she kept hidden in the toilet tank, tried to dissuade the neighbor from contacting the landlord and having us evicted. Eventually, they both went into the bedroom and put on the soundtrack to Urban Cowboy real loud. After about ten minutes, Mr. Hopnagle came out to the living room and got a couple of Pasbt out of the fridge and some nylon cords we were using to practice knot tying and he went back inside the bedroom. About five minutes later I heard my mom scream Tom Selleck’s name. Then Mr. Hopnagle left and my mom came out and told all the kids to go home even though we hadn’t worked out all the plans for the upcoming pinewood derby. We got evicted two weeks later, however, not because Hopnagle complained but because my dad was found passed out drunk and naked in the laundry room.

Radio Nowhere

July 7, 2017

And while we’re at it, can we put a ban on the phrase “long time listener – first time caller?” We get it: You like the radio show. Why not prove it by calling in and contributing with a pertinent, insightful question or salient point of observation? No need to waste precious airtime sounding like a complete tool with a suck-up phrase that’s so clichè Marconi probably rolls over in his grave every time it’s uttered.

July 5 Trivia Rankings

July 5, 2017

A lovely Fourth of July trivia celebration this week, Quizlings. Thanks for all who turned out to celebrate America! And those who turned out to bid a sweet adieu to Jenn (don’t leave – we’ll miss you!).

If you missed it, there was talk of ports and plastic surgery and pants people (of the traveling variety). Plus this iconic piece of advertising:

Now let’s see where your team ranked…

Trump Meeting With Putin – Better Bring Lube 61
Laura Is Here 59
She Who Has Boob Sweat Has Humidititties 59
Taylor Swift: Summer Of Syrup 58
We Can Eat More Free Brownies Than Joey Chestnut 57
All Star Procrastinators 56
Putin On The Ritz 55
 ‘Murica – Brexiting Since 1776 55
Laura’s Not Here 53
Sorry, Christie! Life’s A Beach! 53
Jenn’s Going Away – Send Her Off With A Brownie 52
9 of Diamonds 51
The Yellow Umbrella Group 50
Trivia Is Always Beter With Ice Cream 49
If A Governor Sits On A Beach But No One Is There To See Him Governing Is He Still A Governor 48
Nerf Winston 42
Turd Ferguson 38
3 Dogs 34

He’s The Boss

July 4, 2017

Is it patriotic? Maybe. Is it necessary?  Perhaps not … but if you ask yourself Is it freakin’ awesome? then you got a whole new ballgame going.

Bruce Springsteen sings 4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy). Enjoy.

Sick Leave

June 30, 2017

In my fourth grade class, this kid everyone hated got sick. It was like mono or something. And he had to stay home for several months. We were all glad because, as I said, we didn’t like him. He was a bit of a bully and would often act out during story time or recess and we’d all get yelled at and have to lay our heads on our desks and have a time out. Thing was, the teacher made us all make Get Well cards. I made mine a word search with phrases like “you stink” and “I hate you” and “die” hidden in among “feel better” and “eat soup” and the like. He never came back to school although his mom did send a note saying thank you to most of the class for their nice words. I used to think I was responsible for his not returning but I later found out he had simply missed too much class and had to repeat the grade. Still, I took credit for it and was the hero of J. Y. Joyner Elementary for the rest of the school year!

June 28 Trivia Rankings

June 28, 2017

Another fantastic week of trivia and another close game (a tie for first and a tie for third) but some familiar faces were missing. Quizlings, I’d better see some pics of your summer holiday or hospital stay because those are the only reasons to miss the fun!

There will be trivia (and some fireworks) next Wednesday so come out and celebrate 241 years of ‘Murica.

This week, it was all about an Amazon princess, a Russian invasion and a billion dollars worth of tequila. And then there was this special appearance:

Now how’d your team do? Here are the weekly rankings…

We Won … Wait, That’s Fake News 64
20 Years Since Tyson-Holyfield Bite Fight 64
They Can Take Our Health Care But They Can Never Take Our Trivia 62
GOP Healthcare Plan = Don’t Be Sick or Poor. Duh! 62
Opie Wan Kenobi 61
The Soggy Mints 60
Russian Dolls Are So Full Of Themselves 58
Phil’s Been Knicked 58
The Qwizarding World Of Harry Potter 55
Winnie The Pooch 54
20 Years Of Avoiding Harry Potter 53
Stone Cold Jane Austen 52
Cliff Paul To Houston 49
Purple Trolls 49
The Losers Without Fidget Spinners 48
Kid Free 44
I Thought You’d Be Taller 43
Dear Mister President, About That Fake News – Love, Time Magazine 42
Rounders Starring Matt Damon 32