FIVE RANDOM FIVE

April 22, 2017

Five Snap, Crackle & Pop Associates

Pow

Wham

Plop

Pffft!

Kazoowie

 

Five Sins of Omission

Not telling the kid he’s adopted

Keeping your opinion to yourself

Letting her think you went to Jared when you didn’t

Not admitting you can’t drive a stick

Letting others blame it on the dog

 

Five Things That Kind of Sound Like Pickles

Pimples

Kellie Pickler

Pixels

Pimp Canes

Pippa

 

Five Questions You Don’t Want To Hear In An Elevator

I wonder what would happen if the cable suddenly snapped?

Will you hold me like there’s no tomorrow?

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?

Phew! What did you have for dinner last night?

Would you like a free hernia check?

 

Five Earth Day Faux Pas

Pamphlet bombing a mall parking lot to promote your event

Showing An Inconvenient Truth at an RNC gathering

Dancing on the grave of Rachel Carson

Having Nickelback perform

Burning “Save the Earth” into an old growth forest so it can be seen from space

April 19 Trivia Rankings

April 19, 2017

A lovely night for trivia, my Quizlings! Thank you to all who came out to play. We maybe learned a wee bit about ICE, Pooh and Swell along the way. And then there was this little ditty…

Now here are this week’s rankings …

O’Reilly’s New Job Is Handing Out Tic Tacs At Mar-A-Lago 69
Killing The O’Reilly Factor 63
We Come For Trivia But We Stay For The Glen 63
Patriots Don’t Usually Choke 62
Hang In There, Aaron 62
The O’Trivia Factor 59
It’s Okay… Mother Pence Knows I’m Here 56 (tie)
Love To See You Walk Away, Bill 56 (tie)
Prison Looking To Fill Opening For New Tight End 56
Out“Fox”ing O’Reilly 53
E Pluribus Anus 51
Harvey Wallbanger’s Fuzzy Navel 51
DFTBA 47
Coors Lit 43

Gentile On My Mind

April 18, 2017

Well, a great holiday has come and gone here in my household! Seriously great. And I’m not just saying that because I get to drink Schnapps again after giving it up for Lent. Nope, here at the MacMillan abode, it’s a non-stop party; especially since due to the nature of our respective upbringings we celebrate a blended holiday we like to call Paas-over (and lemme tell you – in case you’ve never tried – it’s not easy to dye a matzah).

But things are settling down now. The kids, Jake and Maxine, have pretty much finished their charoset bunnies and kosher peeps and Moira has begun work on her special parsley-salt water egg salad, which will be the centerpiece of most lunches for the next few weeks.

And me? My final job before I hit the hay is to see if I can remember where I hid all the gefilte fish we couldn’t find during the hunt yesterday. Give it a few days and the smell should lead me right to it, I guess.

Mazel tov!

The Easter Bunny Hates You

April 16, 2017

This. NEVER. Gets. Old.

Happy Easter!

HBOhm

April 14, 2017

When you work in TV promotions, you are keenly aware of how difficult it is to craft a branding spot that is both entertaining and original. And when it’s done (and done well) you have to applaud. HBO’s latest (“It’s What Connects Us”) does just that with a snarky charm (cue John Oliver) that has to make you smile. Don’t get me wrong – I’ll never forgive the suits at Home Box office for cancelling Hello Ladies but I sure as hell give their marketing department props for this gem.

April 12 Trivia Rankings

April 12, 2017

What a lovely night! The weather cooperated very nicely and let’s hope it continues to oblige. So come back next week, Quizlings, and let’s enjoy the beautiful spring weather.

Meanwhile, what did learn tonight? We learned not every NC county with the name of a president was named after a president … there was life before Game Of Thrones (although few remember it) … and one of the Wright Brothers flew 852 feet on that first (fourth) flight.

Oh and there was this lively character (all you 90s kids can bring him up at your next therapy session)…

Here are this week’s team rankings. How’d you do?

How Many Lowes Would Rob Lowe Rob If Rob Lowe Could Rob Lowes? 66
United Airlines Is A Bloody Drag 65
How Was Your Vacation With Cher? 62
United Airlines – Beat Your Customers, Not The Competition 59
Council Of Ricks 58
Divided Airlines 58
United Airlines – We Put ‘Hospital’ In Hospitality 58
Men’s Wear By Lootcrate 56
Mar-A-Lago Resort And Holocaust Center 55
Enjoy Your “Vacation”, Bill 54
Fly The Friendly Skies 53
House Bill 2: Less Teams In The ACC 53
Game … Blouses 52
Queen Of Hearts 48
Ice Cream or Bust 45

Pregnant Pause

April 10, 2017

I stopped by one of those “Everything’s A Dollar” stores yesterday. Y’know the kind where they offer stuff that wouldn’t sell at major chains for the low, low price of 100 cents? You can find some interesting things there – toys, kitchenware, cleaning supplies – and if it doesn’t have an expiration date why not save some money, eh?  However, I’ll go on the record as saying there are some things you probably shouldn’t buy on the cheap.

That’s why I was a little more than bemused to see behind the checkout counter – right there, hanging on the wall – pregnancy tests for one dollar!

Seriously, how knocked up do you have to be to feel comfortable trusting a pee stick you purchased at the place folks who shop at Walmart think is low rent?

Duck Duck Goosed

April 7, 2017

For some reason, this Marx Brothers scene has been running through my head for the past few hours. Dunno why. Just a coincidence, I guess…

April 5 Trivia Rankings

April 5, 2017

It was a rainy evening but the trivia was warm and dry inside Tomato Jake’s for the Quizlings who came out to play. But where was Glen? Spring break? Getting a nip and tuck and at clinic south of the border? Following Cher on her latest world tour? I’m sworn to secrecy but feel free to visit the Tomato Jake’s Facebook and Twitter pages and wish him well and/or the ability to make bail.

Meanwhile here in the hypotenuse of the Triangle we answered loads of questions, most of them easier than last week. Along the way we learned Doris Day is still alive (for the moment), UNC basketball has a lot of Twitter followers (although much less than many thought) and the Tasmanian tiger may have just moved a few zip codes away (it may have to be renamed).

Plus there was this lovely young woman…

Now here are this week’s team rankings. See you next time, folks!

Kendall Jenner Solves Race Relations With Pepsi 71
Headline News: Barry Manilow Is Gay – Also, Water Is Wet 70
Bannon Booted, Apocalypse Delayed Two Days 67
I’m Trying To Eat But I Keep Seeing Glen In A Speedo 67
Barry Manilow, Who Knew? 65
April Gladness 65
E Pluribus Anus 63
Give Us Lemonheads (April Fools!) 62
Sophie’s Second Choice 62
Jack Of Hearts 58
Julie’s Good At It 56
Spring Break Swimsuit Ready 52
March Madness Ends With April Sadness 52
Can We Offer You A Pepsi? 44
Piece Of The Pi 37

Oddly True Facts That Are Odd But True

April 1, 2017

Check out these amazing facts. Some are incredible and some are strange but all are true.

James Arness, Henry Kissinger, Charo and Bil Keane all have asteroids named after them.

89% of Millennials do not know how to use an hourglass.

Hitchhiking is illegal in the Canadian village of Binscarth in Manitoba, Canada. Because of its remote location, there have never been any cars in Binscarth.

Writer Stephen King admits he was afraid of the dark well into his late teens and starting writing horror as a form of therapy.

Acceptable plural forms of the word octopus are octopi, octopuses, octopus, octopar, octopax and octotupple.

The most decorated military personage in history was Swedish naval officer Henrik af Trolle.

The Denver Broncos mascot, Miles, was fired in 2004 after throwing his mascot suit off the top of Invesco Field, making thousands of fans think he had committed suicide.

The singer Meat Loaf made most of his money not by selling records but by becoming one of the principle investors in Qdoba.

The “Wiccan Times” voted a mountain in Wales named Craig y Llyn as the most haunted outdoor place in Great Britain.

In the 1940s, Swiss doctors experimented with LSD as a cure for menopause.

The first film to be released on DVD was “Beaches.”

Caskets are one of the largest environmental polluters worldwide. Read the rest of this entry »