FIVE RANDOM FIVE (Coronavirus Edition)

April 3, 2020

 

FIVE END OF THE WORLD SONGS

End of the World – Armor For Sleep

It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) – REM

End of the World – Cold

30 Seconds Til The End of The Word – Pennywise

End of the World – Ingrid Michaelson

 

FIVE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU MORE NOW YOU’RE WORKING FROM HOME

The kids

The neighbors

The spouse

The computer

The door to the bathroom – for the love of god did it always SQUEAK like that? Seriously, where’s the WD40? We’re out? Son of a bitch! MY LIFE IS A LIVING HELL!!!!

 

FIVE QUOTES FROM MOVIES I’VE WATCHED SINCE THE STAY-AT-HOME ORDER

“Do you expect me to talk?” “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!” – Goldfinger

“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.” – Downton Abbey

“Frank, let’s face it, who can trust a cop that won’t take money?” – Serpico

“My leg is a piano!” – The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part

“I object, you honor! This trial is a travesty. It’s a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty o two mockeries of a sham.” – Bananas

 

FIVE THINGS I MISS NOW THAT I’M STUCK AT HOME

Volunteering

Hosting trivia

Game night with friends

Going to get my hair cut

Griping about the crowds in restaurants

 

FIVE EUPHEMISMS FOR SOCIAL DISTANCING

At Harm’s Length

The Two-Meter Tango

Shy Boys at a Middle School Dance

The Devil’s Divorce

That Offspring Song

 

Trivia Wrap-Up: 1 April 2020

April 2, 2020

It was April Fool’s Day yet I pulled no pranks on you during Wednesday Night Trivia Virtual 3.0. Well, except for maybe the stumper about Ajax. No Doors fans, I guess (obscure reference, yes, I admit). It was a close game and here’s how it played out:

Laura’s Team – 30 points

Sparky’s Malarkey (Aaron’ s Team) – 29 points

Courtney’s Team – 29 points

Raging Ox – 29 points

Paul’s Team – 9 points

Some good scores there. I honestly thought there were a few difficult questions. The Monopoly one may have been hard but a couple got it (and I did appreciate the guess by more than one team of “body odor”). The picture round proved a breeze for many but I’ll tell ya, Quizlings – you’re lucky spelling doesn’t really count!

Seriously, thank you for joining me for this. I so desperately want things to go back to normal with all of us crowded into Jake’s for the usual triviawesomeness we’ve so grown accustomed to but we have to acknowledge that might be a long way off. In the meantime, I’ll keep this up and we’ll get back together in person as soon as we can in whatever way we can.

Meanwhile, Tomato Jake’s is open 11:30am to 9pm for take out and delivery. I stopped in Wednesday before virtual trivia to grab a slice. Feel free to do the same next week!

And so I’ll leave you with a picture of Zanna who got very jealous when I posted a picture of her sister and not her last week.

Zanna2018g

Strange But True Yet Odd And Incredibly Genuine

April 1, 2020

Check out these amazing facts. Some are incredible. Many seem impossible. All are true.

In the 1980s, a gang calling themselves the Keebler Elves patrolled the NYC subways, handing out cookies to ease tensions and stop crime.

Chemically speaking, most ED drugs are just a molecule or two away from LSD.

There are more beetles in the world than all the money in all the banks.

The psychedelic rock song “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” was purchased by many Christian stations when it was first released because the record company used the original title “In The Garden of Eden” to promote it.

The Maldives men’s national volleyball team has the winningest record of any sports team.

When Howard Hughes passed away, authorities discovered he had an underground garage filled with 234 Volkswagen Beetles, all of which had less than 50 miles on the odometers. Read the rest of this entry »

Wednesday Night Trivia (Virtual 3.0)

April 1, 2020

We learn a little each week and adapt to circumstances.

Join me on Twitter tonight at 8 where I’ll post a link to the first round of 25 questions (hopefully fixing the problem of last week where some folks couldn’t see it immediately). You’ll then have fifteen minutes to send me the answers at my email address – stikemonke@yahoo.com – and then I’ll post a link on Twitter to round two, the bonus round (ten questions for that one). Ten minutes to send me those answers at the same email address.

Please include Trivia in you subject line and your name/team name in the body of the email (for bookkeeping purposes, please use the same handle you used in previous weeks).

All questions are worth one point. Points are cumulative so I’m adding up what people and teams get each week and the person/team at the end of the hiatus gets the $50 gift card.

I would hope no one goes online to look up the answers but obviously I cannot police that so the time limits are there to discourage that type of malfeasance. It also gives you time to confer with your teammates if you can. Play solo or with pals! Play with your team via email, text, teleconference, whatever works. And your friends in other cities can join you as well since, obviously, this isn’t a live, in person gig. (Still, let’s keep teams to a lean 8 or less, just to be fair.)

See you all back here tonight!

dolphinbanana

People I Hate #289 (In A Series)

March 29, 2020

Who: The guy who accompanies his car’s turn signal with hand signals.

Why: It’s unnecessary, it’s pointless and it’s distracting. When I’m driving, I take note of a car’s turn signal with an almost perfunctory sense. The last thing I need is some hipster sticking his hand out and making some sort of – what the hell is that? Gang signs? It takes my eyes off the road and breaks my concentration and all because some doofus is either being extremely overcautious or ridiculously retro.

How I justify it: It’s not 1915 and you’re not driving a Model T, tooltime! Signal like the freakin’ owner’s manual tell you to.

Hello, Kitty

March 27, 2020

I was surfing the web a while back when one of those animated ads caught my attention. It was a cat, a cute little cat, that’s all – and the caption said, “Pet the kitty.” Normally, I eschew any and all attempts to lure my attention via these web site atrocities – I mean, theoretically we’re all just one click away from some Nigerian phishing scam – but instinctively, reflexes borne of years of veterinary and no-kill shelter work, my hand moved the mouse over to where the feline sat. I didn’t even click on it or anything when suddenly the ad morphed into some gridiron motif and the following words appeared: “Did you really try to pet the kitty? You need some fantasy football!” Yes, it was an ad for fantasy football.

Well, I could go on and on and wax philosophical about how our nation’s screwed up notions of what is and what is not manly has turned men into testosterone-fueled jokes, one hate crime away from pummeling all that is different and “girlie” into macho submission. I could point out the hypocrisy of how the same guys who gave me swirlies in high school for carrying around 20-sided die now spend more time playing fantasy games than I ever did. I could even wail and gnash over the base immorality of the vile bait and switch used in what is, if not the most evil, certainly the most annoying form of advertising known to man – the website pop-up.

But all of that is irrelevant to one simple fact: SOMETIMES I LIKE TO PET KITTIES! That doesn’t make me less of anything and I don’t apologize for it. Cats are nice. I like them. They’re sweet and cute and furry and bundles of fun. And I like to pet them.

Deal with it.

Trivia Wrap-Up: 25 March 2020

March 26, 2020

Okay, Quizlings. Thanks to the folks who played Wednesday night.

There was still a small glitch but I think, overall, this week went smoother than last. If I get a chance, I research potential online venues. Otherwise, plan on the same next week. As always, let me know if you have suggestions (more questions/less questions, more time/less time, tougher/easier) let me know.

Here are the scores for the week:

Courtney  33

Raging Ox  31

Laura 26

Bryson Q  22

Sparky’s Malarky    20

If I might take a moment to in addition to the thank you (which is heartfelt but always in danger of being said to the point of losing meaning), may I ask that, if you can, you do continue to patronize Tomato Jake’s either by takeout or delivery. Your local restaurants are hurting and any revenue is helpful. Plus, we want our trivia venue to still be there when it’s safe to congregate again.

Also, on a personal note, the no-kill cat shelter Safe Haven For Cats, like many places, has had to shut down to the public for the time being due to COVID-19. That’s my weekly volunteer gig and a place I’ve spent many hours helping out. They’ve also had to postpone their biggest fundraiser of the year so revenue is down for them as well. If you have the means to assist financially there, please do.

enchantress1

Enchantress thanks you.

 

Wednesday Night Trivia (Virtual 2.0)

March 25, 2020

Quizlings, this will go on. Although Twitter turned out to be an epic fail last week. I had thought, based on my limited dalliance with the social media platform, that Twitter would provide a nice low-tech solution in the interim but there were problems a-plenty. I had apparently not checked a box that allowed me to see all the replies and even when I corrected that it was impossible to honestly tell who was first. A query into tech support goes unanswered so I seek other options. [BTW I have decided to award everyone who participated last week five points as a thank you and apology. It’s inelegant and may not please everyone (or anyone) but it seems in the spirit of the what I’m trying to do here.] Read the rest of this entry »

Far Out Man

March 22, 2020

Long before the sad plastic surgery face … before he’d even considered roasting a blasted thing … and way back before he knew when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em, Kenny Rogers was one psychedelic cat, man. Don’t believe me? Well, in honor of Kenny’s life and career, check out this song from 1968 when Kenny Rogers & The First Edition took Just Dropped In (to See What Condition My Condition Was In) all the way to #5 on the pop charts. It was a far groovier time than most can imagine … and much groovier than those who were there can ever hope to remember.

We Were On A Break!

March 20, 2020

Since we can’t have mass gatherings anymore, I thought it might be a good time to flashback twenty years to debauchery of yore … a time when MTV’s Spring Break rules the airwaves:

We now return to “MTV’s Spring Break Unleash’d,” already in progress…

CARSON: Hello, I’m Carson Daly, host of “Total Request Live!” I’m here soaking up the rays and making waves in Daytona Beach. And with me here is teen pop sensation, Mandy Moore. Hi, Mandy!

MANDY: Hi, Carson! Wow, it is, like, so great to be here on MTV’s Spring Break. The guys are, like, so cute down here in Florida. I could just eat ’em all up.

CROWD: Woooooooooooo!

CARSON: Y’know, Mandy, you may not be old enough to drive but I’ll bet you’ll sure drive guys crazy in that bikini.

MANDY: Yeah, like, you bet! And speaking of driving, here’s someone who really knows how to operate a moving vehicle: Tom Green! Read the rest of this entry »