Archive for February, 2019

February 27 Trivia Rankings

February 28, 2019

A great big western howdy to all the fly Quizlings who came out to play this week. Always love to see some familiar faces … and some new faces … and some old faces … just faces. Faces are good.

Please take a moment to nominate Tomato Jake’s for Best Trivia Night in Durham County at (and spread the word).

This week? We hung tough with a boy band, played the Knicks at home and won a colorful Oscar. Then we asked the metaphysical question “Who Am I?” …

Now check out the rankings for this week. See you next Wednesday!

Japan Shot Us In the Asteroid 70
Nike: Goddess of De Feet 69
Bored Of Education 68
His Bone Spurs Must’ve Healed Up 67
All The Good Team Name People Are Gone 66
Shoe Glue Crew 66
Young Thug For The Win 65
Hang Down Your Head, Gym Jordan 60
I Ordered A Chicken And An Egg From Amazon. I’ll Let You Know. 60
We May Have Dabbled In Some Light Election Fraud 59
I Want Someone To Look At Me Like Bradley Cooper 58
Suck Toes 55
The Kraft Special 55
The Ariana Ventes 51
Kim Jong-Un Wins The Home Town Rose 46
Cowwitch 44
I’m Bad At Puns 44
Alligators Wearing Crocs 42

Are You Pondering What I’m Pondering?

February 24, 2019

The Pinky and the Brain theme song gets a hip retro makeover thanks to Postmodern Jukebox.

Peter Tork (1942-2019)

February 21, 2019

I woke up to the news that Peter Tork of the Monkees had died. I know he had been ill and he was in his seventies so it shouldn’t be a shock but it’s always a blow to hear someone you grew up admiring has passed away. I’m sure others will be able to say things about him that are more poignant and salient than I, simply a fan, could manage, so I’ll just leave you with one of my favorite Monkees songs – one in which Tork shared lead vocals with Davy Jones.

February 20 Trivia Rankings

February 21, 2019

Thanks to all the most excellent Quizlings who came to play on this wild Wednesday. If you missed it, you missed a fantastic night! Obama stopped by before he went to Cameron Indoor and he asked a few Presidents’ Day questions to the assembled. Then we all gained the power of immortality and/or the ability to smite our enemies with our minds. Also, we gave away a Robocop t-shirt and every team got gift cards because that was the kind of night it was. Plus we brought some people back from the dead (sort of).

Bottom line: Trivia is awesome. Never. Miss. A. Single. Week.

Along the way, we chatted about Big Apple cocktails, old Oscar people and fancy dog winners. Plus there was this catchy tune from the mid-aughts…

Now let’s see how the teams stacked this week and we’ll plan to do it again next Wednesday!

Ace Of Spades, Your Food is Ready 63
Tar Devils 62
Bunch Of Trivia Jerks 61
Obama’s Here To Say The Day 59
At Least It’s Not Trivia Fraud 56
DTF: Down To Fiesta 55
We Want The T-Shirt 55
Fossil Eyes 38

And check out WORDCOUNT. It’s a suckhole of fun!

The Oval Offal

February 18, 2019

It’s President’s Day. (Or is that Presidents Day? Maybe Presidents’ Day?) That’s why we here at THE FLEHMEN RESPONSE thought it a perfect opportunity to look back and reflect on those men who held the highest office in our land. What should you, as an American citizen, know about them? The important, salient points? The stuff Ken Jennings knows? Easy. Here it is, the four-one-one on the men who wouldn’t be king.

George Washington. First president. Wooden teeth. Chopped down a cherry tree. Once did it with Betsy Ross on an early version of Old Glory.

John Adams. Federalist. First President to occupy the White House. Had a fetish for powdered wigs. (more…)

Save It For A Rainy Day

February 15, 2019

Put a call into my financial advisor the other day. Wanted to check on my retirement account. He called back later to let me know that a near mint Charizard card and $250 in unused Flooz was not really much of a retirement plan. He also told me to lose his number or face a restraining order.

Retirement? Yeah … it looks like I’ll be bagging groceries until I’m 85.

February 13 Trivia Rankings

February 14, 2019

Thanks to all the Quizlings who came to play on this Valentine’s Day Eve trivia outing. Another close game … and the winners readily admit they made it to first place by checking out my weekly trivia hints (follow me on Twitter @SparkyMacMillan). Hey, I’ve been doing this for a while now and there’s no real secret to winning. Ask me how to up your game and I’ll tell you.

This week, we got lost in the Bermuda Triangle, played football with the Alliance and won a Grammy with the Prez from Plains. And then there was this toy hit from Hasbro…

Now check out the team rankings for this week. See you next time Quizlings!

Happy Desperation Day 71
They Went To Belgium And Didn’t Bring Us Any Waffles 70
Who’s Ready For Shutdown #2? 69
Pizza Dabbers 68
The Calfinated Cows 64
Red Rover, Red Rover, Send Opportunity Right Over 63
My Dog Ate My Team Name 61
Ground Control To Major Tom: Opportunity Is Dead 61
El Chapo Hill 50
Two is Better Than None 48
Ocho Loco 44
Potato Ben’s 39
Jimmy Cracked Corn 39
AOC 2028 37

Five Random Five (Valentine’s Edition)

February 12, 2019


Five Embarrassing Crushes

The Super Nanny

Dame Judi Dench

Melissa Etheridge

Peter Scolari as Hildegarde in Bosom Buddies

Cheetara (Thundercats)


Five Unfortunate Valentine’s Day Memories

Chicken pox – third grade

Had candy hearts superglued to forehead by a-hole roommate in college after I fell asleep

High school girlfriend allergic to flowers I sent her

Romantic dinner for two turned into awkward dinner for three when she brought her boyfriend (2005)

First boy/girl party in middle school and I inadvertently spent “7 Minutes In Heaven” with an American Girl doll


Five Bad Excuses to Turn Down a Date

Dog in heat

Just got Ant-Man and the Wasp on Blu-ray

Building life-size model of Orson Welles out of Legos

Roadying for REO Speedwagon reunion tour

Those Pottery Barn catalogs won’t recycle themselves!


Five Rejected Conversation Heart Sayings

Hands Off, Creep-O!

Future Taylor Swift Ex


Who’s Your Caddy?

Be My #1 & I’ll #2


Five Les Misérables Pickup Lines

I dreamed a dream of you and me in a three-way.

Oh, I will make you hear the people sing, baby!

At the end of the day, you’d better go home with me.

You are the hottest toothless, hairless prostitute I’ve ever seen!

My number may be 24601, but yours is a solid 10!


The World’s Tiniest Voilà!

February 8, 2019

I think the most pathetic occupation ever must be the birthday party magician. Birthday party clowns I can understand; those suckers are already warped. But the magicians? Sad, oh so sad. Here you are, a craftsman, an artiste, finely honing your talent to the point your illusory skill can make people suspend their disbelief and “oooh” and “aaaah” over your marvelous feats. But due to the fact that you can’t get a good agent or you live in Hoboken, NJ or you just aren’t up to the standards of David Copperfield, you have to knock ‘em dead at 7-year-old Caitlin’s Chuck E. Cheese gala.

“This next trick was first conjured by the Augustinian Monks in the 6th century A.D. and has mystified the crowned heads of Europe –” “Make a balloon animal!” “What?” “Make a balloon doggie!” “Oy, my life sucks.”


February 6 Trivia Rankings

February 7, 2019

A fantastic night of trivia, my Quizlings. Close game, that’s for sure (check out those scores). But that’s just how it plays out. Some weeks it’s a high scoring game – others … well, you wish I’d take a flying leap at a rolling doughnut.

What’d we get up to? We scored very low in tennis, misspelled a tuber and played in the Puppy Bowl. Plus there was this video short that’s really a commercial…

Now let’s see how your team did. Check it out and we’ll do it again next week with a special Valentine’s Day game.

Stupor Bowl 71
Brownie Dots 70
Presidentially Harassed? Ha Ha Ha 70
The New England Patriots Of Team Trivia 70
Bored Of Education 69
The State of Tomato Jake’s Is Strong 67
Nancy And Sluggo 66
The Rachel Ray Fan Club 61
This Team Is Made With Corn Syrup 60
State Of the Union As Unwatchable As The Super Bowl 59
Silence Of The Rams 59
Rams 3, Maroon 5 59
The State Of The Union Is Loooong 58
Fat Kids Win At See Saw 40
The Clean-Up Hitters 40

Many thanks to those who donated to pay for Quebec‘s eye surgery. Here’s a pic of the feline trooper below. Plus, check out the SEE Is For Cats Fund details if you want to do more.