Archive for November, 2008

Baby, If You’ve Ever Wondered…

November 28, 2008

Is there actually a station with the call letters WKRP in Cincinnati?

Yes. Yes, there is.

Apparently a low-power station in Ohio’s Queen City has changed its designation to the famous (or infamous) WKRP, the first time any station has possessed those letters since the CBS sitcom debuted in he late 70s.

So, major cool points here for adapting the name of a fictional radio station from telly, but minus several thousand for not actually being a radio station!!!!  Yep, WKRP in Cincinnati is a television station!  Worse, they do not even have the program WKRP in Cincinnati on their broadcast schedule!

A major faux pas, in my opinion.  Almost Big Guy-worthy.  Or Tarlek.  Yeah, I bet Tarlek’s behind this boner.

Thanksgiving It Up

November 27, 2008

Ah, that was nice, wasn’t it?  The family all together for a sumptuous holiday gathering, the smell of roasted bird still wafting from the kitchen, tryptrophan coursing through the veins, a sense of warmth permeating the being.  Sounds of a gridiron skirmish, some ratings-inspired entertainment spectacle on network TV.  A few lights and decorations already up in a premature explosion of Yule.  A fire going.  And too much pie.  Way too much pie.

But in the true spirit of the season, let us ponder exactly what it is that we are truly thankful for.  For me, oh so many things.  So much to like, so much to love, to appreciate and cherish.

I’m thankful for Moira, of course, but that almost goes without saying.  We’ve come so far from that day we met in Life Drawing 250 at UNC.  She, the tenuous artist, dabbling in a new major.  I, the nervous model, fulfilling a screwed-up work-study requirement by posing with a bowl of fruit.

I’m thankful for Jake and Maxine, my pride and joy – and the best pre-teen brother and sister act the League of Young Magicians has ever seen.

I’m thankful for my life (except for that time I spent with the Society for Creative Anachronism).

I’m thankful for my health – and for the early detention techniques that saved it (remember: “once a month, in the shower!”).

I’m thankful for my new iPhone.

I’m thankful DNA evidence can still be shot full of holes by a competent lawyer.

I’m thankful that comic strips like Mutts, Over the Hedge and Get Fuzzy still make it worth picking the daily paper despite perennial dreck like Family Circus and Hi and Lois.

I’m thankful my employer doesn’t do extensive background checks on its applicants.

I’m thankful for puns, double entendres and hyperbole.

I’m thankful Old Navy doesn’t really have a navy.

I’m thankful I no longer laugh when the waiter says “shiitake mushrooms.”

I’m thankful for the soothing hands of Hunter, my Icelandic masseuse.

I’m thankful for Just For Men brush-in gel for beards.

I’m thankful I have caught up on my Harlequins.

I’m thankful I have at last paid off my med school loans.

I’m thankful I finally found a local radio station that carries Coast To Coast AM.

I’m thankful my walk-on as a felonious cabana boy on Dirty Sexy Money got me within spitting distance of my idol Peter Krause.  (And doubly thankful he didn’t have his contacts in when he caught me in his trailer, making it nigh impossible to make a positive ID.)

I’m thankful that Anime and Calliope like their new Purr Pads.

I’m thankful I cured myself of using the catchphrase “Smack me one, Big Mama!”

I’m thankful I was finally able to unload my old Greg Kihn Band and Huey Lewis and the News LPs on eBay.

I’m thankful for Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim.

I’m thankful Costco now carries Beano in cases.

I’m thankful that, due to a savvy legal system, I may actually get back the six thousand dollars I spent on that charlatan Billy Mays.

I’m thankful my dry cleaner doesn’t ask too many questions.

And, finally, I am so damn thankful that Thanksgiving is over because if I have to plaster one more fake smile on my face while the in-laws tell me what they are so blasted thankful for I may just lodge a dental pick in someone’s cerebellum!!!

Whoa.  WAY too much pie.

Sparky MacMillan is a forearm from the waist down!


Turkey Day Memories

November 27, 2008

As you’re coping with extended family and indulging in once-a-year foodstuffs like marshmallow yams and cranberry sauce, enjoy these retro looks at Thanksgivings past with THE 10 GREATEST MACY’S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE BALLOONS and THE 8 THANKSGIVING SPECIALS NO ONE IS THANKFUL FOR.  At the very least, maybe it’ll give you an excuse to distance yourself from hug-happy Aunt Roberta for a few minutes.  I mean, what … does the woman freakin’ bathe in perfume?!

Thanks For Nothing

November 26, 2008

As we move headfirst into the holiday season and you prepare to gorge yourself on Ben Franklin’s national bird of choice, let us take a moment to think of those less fortunate than ourselves.  Like the cast of My Own Worst Enemy, Senator Ted Stevens, Circuit City employees, anyone depending on Amy Winehouse’s long-term stability, Dr. Pepper’s IT department, Linens ‘n Things customers, people who wear crocs, contestants on Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?, ferret owners, anyone who paid full price to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua and the parents of Andy Dick.  Anyhow, the point is, well, there really isn’t a point.  Need and desperation and misfortune come in all shapes and sizes, no matter who you are.  One man’s Thanksgiving is another man’s thanks-for-giving-us-the-shaft-and-taking-our-land-with-a-handful-of-beans.  It all depends on which side of the meal you’re on.  I mean, basically, no amount of cranberry sauce, stuffing, bowl games, parades or cheesy holiday specials can make it a keen day for the turkey, right? 

So, eat hearty, my friends!  Give thanks, where appropriate.  Enjoy yourselves.  But don’t get too heady, ‘cuz, hey, this ain’t a very special episode of Blossom or anything.

By The Numbers

November 24, 2008

Counting down the web sites that use counting down as a theme.

The Dark Knight may have taken in nearly a billion dollars worldwide, but that doesn’t mean the Caped Crusader was always serious.  Check out TOP 30 MOST STUPID BATMAN COMIC BOOK COVERS

Then listen to the 12 BEST TV THEME SONGS FROM CURRENT SHOWS.  The list is a little suspect since it doesn’t mention Denis Leary’s Rescue Me.

For something a little out of left field, you need to know all about the 6 BIGGEST A-HOLES IN THE ANIMAL KINGDOM.

Finally, give it up for THE TOP 5 WEIRDEST SKITTLES VIDEOS.  All of them are weird, if you ask me. But these ads make a concerted effort to give you the willies.

Head Case

November 21, 2008

40 years ago, The Monkees let loose a little gem of a cult film called Head.  It was a weird, wild ride – and that’s being kind. 

Genius?  That may be going a bit too far, but we can now look back and examine this feat of cinematic silliness in THIS article.  

Whatever you think, gotta admit it’s a far cry from Daydream Believer.

Bustin’ Loose

November 21, 2008

Wow.  With stuff like this to look forward to on Saturday mornings, is it any wonder my generation is a little kooky?

Had we but world enough, and Netflix

November 20, 2008

Apropos of nothing, here’s 75 COMICS BEING MADE INTO FILMS, from Red Sonja to the Green Hornet.

There’s not enough popcorn in the bloody world to satisfy the geekfest this’ll spawn.

Cacklin’ Rosie

November 19, 2008

Rosie’s back.  She’s got some lame prime time show next week.  And all I have to ask is – whose bloody turn was it to watch her?  I mean, after The View I thought we all had a tacit understanding that we’d keep an eye on her so that she couldn’t pull this kind of crap and just pop up on TV or in movies or something when no one expected.  It’s not right.  It’s not fair.  It’s not natural.  And it was supposed to have stopped.  But, no, one of you slackers looked away for a moment or got distracted or just plain let the side down and now she’s loose and about to invade network television once again.  Is anyone safe?  No.  Not for a moment.  So, fess up, whoever’s responsible for this fiasco and take your punishment like an adult.  I will not suffer this indecency alone!

Missed It By That Much

November 17, 2008

Entertainment Weekly chronicles 31 TV SHOWS YOU LOVED, LOST.  As it turns out, I watched most of them.  And I lament the omission of The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer.  Not kidding.

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