Archive for March, 2020

People I Hate #289 (In A Series)

March 29, 2020

Who: The guy who accompanies his car’s turn signal with hand signals.

Why: It’s unnecessary, it’s pointless and it’s distracting. When I’m driving, I take note of a car’s turn signal with an almost perfunctory sense. The last thing I need is some hipster sticking his hand out and making some sort of – what the hell is that? Gang signs? It takes my eyes off the road and breaks my concentration and all because some doofus is either being extremely overcautious or ridiculously retro.

How I justify it: It’s not 1915 and you’re not driving a Model T, tooltime! Signal like the freakin’ owner’s manual tell you to.

Hello, Kitty

March 27, 2020

I was surfing the web a while back when one of those animated ads caught my attention. It was a cat, a cute little cat, that’s all – and the caption said, “Pet the kitty.” Normally, I eschew any and all attempts to lure my attention via these web site atrocities – I mean, theoretically we’re all just one click away from some Nigerian phishing scam – but instinctively, reflexes borne of years of veterinary and no-kill shelter work, my hand moved the mouse over to where the feline sat. I didn’t even click on it or anything when suddenly the ad morphed into some gridiron motif and the following words appeared: “Did you really try to pet the kitty? You need some fantasy football!” Yes, it was an ad for fantasy football.

Well, I could go on and on and wax philosophical about how our nation’s screwed up notions of what is and what is not manly has turned men into testosterone-fueled jokes, one hate crime away from pummeling all that is different and “girlie” into macho submission. I could point out the hypocrisy of how the same guys who gave me swirlies in high school for carrying around 20-sided die now spend more time playing fantasy games than I ever did. I could even wail and gnash over the base immorality of the vile bait and switch used in what is, if not the most evil, certainly the most annoying form of advertising known to man – the website pop-up.

But all of that is irrelevant to one simple fact: SOMETIMES I LIKE TO PET KITTIES! That doesn’t make me less of anything and I don’t apologize for it. Cats are nice. I like them. They’re sweet and cute and furry and bundles of fun. And I like to pet them.

Deal with it.

Trivia Wrap-Up: 25 March 2020

March 26, 2020

Okay, Quizlings. Thanks to the folks who played Wednesday night.

There was still a small glitch but I think, overall, this week went smoother than last. If I get a chance, I research potential online venues. Otherwise, plan on the same next week. As always, let me know if you have suggestions (more questions/less questions, more time/less time, tougher/easier) let me know.

Here are the scores for the week:

Courtney  33

Raging Ox  31

Laura 26

Bryson Q  22

Sparky’s Malarky    20

If I might take a moment to in addition to the thank you (which is heartfelt but always in danger of being said to the point of losing meaning), may I ask that, if you can, you do continue to patronize Tomato Jake’s either by takeout or delivery. Your local restaurants are hurting and any revenue is helpful. Plus, we want our trivia venue to still be there when it’s safe to congregate again.

Also, on a personal note, the no-kill cat shelter Safe Haven For Cats, like many places, has had to shut down to the public for the time being due to COVID-19. That’s my weekly volunteer gig and a place I’ve spent many hours helping out. They’ve also had to postpone their biggest fundraiser of the year so revenue is down for them as well. If you have the means to assist financially there, please do.


Enchantress thanks you.


Wednesday Night Trivia (Virtual 2.0)

March 25, 2020

Quizlings, this will go on. Although Twitter turned out to be an epic fail last week. I had thought, based on my limited dalliance with the social media platform, that Twitter would provide a nice low-tech solution in the interim but there were problems a-plenty. I had apparently not checked a box that allowed me to see all the replies and even when I corrected that it was impossible to honestly tell who was first. A query into tech support goes unanswered so I seek other options. [BTW I have decided to award everyone who participated last week five points as a thank you and apology. It’s inelegant and may not please everyone (or anyone) but it seems in the spirit of the what I’m trying to do here.] (more…)

Far Out Man

March 22, 2020

Long before the sad plastic surgery face … before he’d even considered roasting a blasted thing … and way back before he knew when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em, Kenny Rogers was one psychedelic cat, man. Don’t believe me? Well, in honor of Kenny’s life and career, check out this song from 1968 when Kenny Rogers & The First Edition took Just Dropped In (to See What Condition My Condition Was In) all the way to #5 on the pop charts. It was a far groovier time than most can imagine … and much groovier than those who were there can ever hope to remember.

We Were On A Break!

March 20, 2020

Since we can’t have mass gatherings anymore, I thought it might be a good time to flashback twenty years to debauchery of yore … a time when MTV’s Spring Break rules the airwaves:

We now return to “MTV’s Spring Break Unleash’d,” already in progress…

CARSON: Hello, I’m Carson Daly, host of “Total Request Live!” I’m here soaking up the rays and making waves in Daytona Beach. And with me here is teen pop sensation, Mandy Moore. Hi, Mandy!

MANDY: Hi, Carson! Wow, it is, like, so great to be here on MTV’s Spring Break. The guys are, like, so cute down here in Florida. I could just eat ’em all up.

CROWD: Woooooooooooo!

CARSON: Y’know, Mandy, you may not be old enough to drive but I’ll bet you’ll sure drive guys crazy in that bikini.

MANDY: Yeah, like, you bet! And speaking of driving, here’s someone who really knows how to operate a moving vehicle: Tom Green! (more…)

Wednesday Night Trivia Goes Virtual!

March 18, 2020

We all know what’s happening and how sucky the whole situation is. As such, Wednesday Night Trivia at Tomato Jake’s has been canceled for the foreseeable future. We hope it’ll be just a matter of weeks rather than months but who can say at this time.

But that doesn’t mean the fun has to stop, does it? (Rhetorical question but the answer is “no.”) So I thought we could take this trivia shindig virtual. And since I don’t have time to design a cool app or anything, what I’ll be doing is tweeting out trivia questions each Wednesday night between 8 & 10 (Eastern Standard Time). The first person to reply with the correct answer gets a point. We’ll do it each week until we can do it live again back at Jake’s and the person who has the most points during said hiatus gets a $50 gift card. (Points will be cumulative and there’s only one gift card to be had for the entire time frame.) (more…)

Ten Random Things That Have Kept Me Awake At Night

March 16, 2020

Chris Gaines? What the hell was that all about?

Bidet comes from the French word for small horse.

Where’s my rock tumbler?!

When will they release The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer on DVD?

Mylar balloons!!!!

Chuck E. Cheese‘s mascot is a freakin’ rat?! Why hasn’t the health department closed them down already?

In 1977, I saved up my allowance until I had enough to purchase a year’s subscription to Tiger Beat. I only got 11 issues. Damn them.

“I will have two fillings!”

Who exactly left the cake out in the rain? Richard Harris said “someone” but I think the drunken sod knew who it was and was just covering for them.

Who would win in a fight: Fudgie the Whale or Cookie Puss?

Broadcast Nuisance

March 13, 2020

I think the people who call into radio shows and then repeat the same information the on-air personality used to introduce them should be fined heavily by the FCC. “Donnie from Glenville, you’re on the air.” “Hi, this is Donnie from Glenville…” Nope, they just said that. You’re wasting precious air time. Here’s a hefty fine for $10,000 and a 10-year ban from calling into the radio. But they must be nervous calling into a radio show, you cry. So what? Don’t call in then. Leave it to those of us who aren’t intimated by simply talking to another person on the bloody phone! Big dogs, porches and all that. Bottom line: It’s annoying, it needs to stop and, if you keep it up, the ghost of Guglielmo Marconi will visit you in the night and shove a ham radio up your ass!

Trivia Rankings: 11 March 2020

March 12, 2020

What a great night for trivia! Thanks to all the Quizlings who came out to play in a very close game. Hope you were part of it.

Remember to nominate Tomato Jake’s for Best trivia Night in the Triangle at (Best of the Triangle 2020). You’ll need to nominate in at least 25 categories to be counted so feel free to spread the love and help out some of our pals as well (see below*).

Also – start time for Wednesday Night Trivia is 7:30pm beginning April 8.

This week, we made candles, won the ACC tournament a bunch of times and battled monster aliens in medieval China. Plus there was this recent movie – uh, memory?

Now check out the rankings for the week. Tight game, eh?

Jill “The Block” Biden 66  
It’s Just Allergies 64  
But Why Is All The Lysol Gone? 64  
Sorry, Folks – America’s Closed. CDC Out Front Should’ve Told Ya 64  
Meatballs of Immunity 63  
Social Distancing Since Middle School 63  
Short People With Umbrellas Are A Real Eyecatcher 63  
Modelovirus 62  
Dwight Yokel 62  
Periodic Table Dancers 60  
Stop Dying You’re Embarassing the President 60  
Is Trivia Contagious? 59  
Trade Answers For TP 59  
Self Quarantined From Winning 58  
Vivacity 51 (tie)
We Back 51 (tie)
Pinkey Dinkey 21  

*Here are some great businesses and people to nominate at Best of the Triangle:


Best Fries in the Triangle  TOMATO JAKE’S PIZZERIA

Best Pizza in Durham County           TOMATO JAKE’S PIZZERIA

Best Salad in the Triangle   TOMATO JAKE’S PIZZERIA

Best Wings in Durham County  TOMATO JAKE’S PIZZERIA



Best Barber Shop in the Triangle   SPORTCLIPS

Best Dental Practice in Durham County   THOMAS LEECH

Best Hair Salon in Durham County SPORTCLIPS

Best Optometry Practice in the Triangle  TRIANGLE VISIONS



Best Local Twitter Feed    @SparkyMacMillan



Best Live Theater Company in the Triangle   PLAYMAKERS

Best Live Theater Venue in the Triangle    PLAYMAKERS

Best Museum in the Triangle      NC MUSEUM OF NATURAL SCIENCE

Best Place to See an Indie Film in the Triangle  CAROLINA THEATRE

Best Trivia Night in the Triangle   TOMATO JAKE’S PIZZERIA



Best House Cleaners in Durham County  CARPE DIEM

Best Nonprofit in Orange/Chatham County   CAROLINA TIGER RESCUE

Best Nonprofit in Wake County  SAFE HAVEN FOR CATS

Best Pet Sitting Service in Durham County  RACHEL McNEIL

Best Pet Sitting Service in Orange/Chatham County  RACHEL McNEIL

Best Place to Adopt a Pet in the Triangle   SAFE HAVEN FOR CATS

Best Realtor in Durham County   JON FLETCHER

Best Veterinary Practice in Durham County  CATS LOVE HOUSECALLS

Best Veterinary Practice in Orange/Chatham County  CATS LOVE HOUSECALLS



Best Comic Book Shop in the Triangle  ULTIMATE COMICS

Best Garden Store in the Triangle   TRIANGLE PHARMACY ACE HARDWARE

Best Hardware Store in the Triangle   TRIANGLE PHARMACY ACE HARDWARE