Archive for March, 2019

March Madness

March 31, 2019

Who am I pulling for in the NCAA tournament? Easy: Gonzaga.

Oh, yeah, sure. I know the team got knocked out by Texas Tech but I don’t care.  I like Gonzaga. Every year I pull for them.

It’s not that I’m an alum or even that I know anything about the school. Where is it? What’s the mascot? Isn’t it even worth rooting for? I couldn’t tell ya. I just like the sound of it. Gonzaga. Gon-za-ga! GON-ZAH-GUH!!!!!! Sounds like a cool cheese or a type of skin rash or a Shazam villain, which is awesome. And I’ll never bother to learn any more about the team, the school or the name other than that.

Gonzaga! Gonzaga! Gonzaga! Long may you have a kick-ass name and long may I have zero curiosity about your true nature or value!

March 27 Trivia Rankings

March 28, 2019

Mega donkeyshins to all those who came to play this week. Some regulars were definitely missed but oh so many wonderful new faces! Keep coming back, Quizlings! It only stays great if you’re there to make it great!

This week, we got slimed at the Kids Choice Awards, got happy in Scandinavia and got crabby down in Bikini Bottom. Plus there was this musical memory from Dave Grohl and company …


The Devil, Y’Know

March 25, 2019

In the Charlie Daniels Band song The Devil Went Down To Georgia, I always thought that the Devil was the real winner of the fiddle contest. I mean, he plays this funky tune. A band of demons even joined in! It totally rocked. All Johnny did was play a dumb fiddle. Even if Johnny did legitimately beat Satan, why the hell was the freakin’ Devil gonna play fair? “Well, Devil,” I think I beat you fair and square.” “Says who, Johnny? I think I won.” “But from a technically musical standpoint …” “Shut up, you redneck yokel! You think I care for the rules? I make the damn rules. Now gimme your soul, you ignorant hillbilly.”

Stupid song. Especially when they played the edited version on Top 40 radio. “I told you once you son of a gun …” No. I don’t think so. Why change the integrity of your artistic vision just because Casey Kasem doesn’t want to hear the word bitch on his precious little countdown?

Seriously. Just what the hell IS Charlie Daniel’s problem anyway?

Waiting To Exalt

March 22, 2019

I once celebrated my birthday in the waiting room of an orthodontist’s office. I was turning twelve and I was getting my braces tightened. Due to a miscommunication between the receptionist and my legal guardian about the time of my appointment, I was dropped off at the orthodontist at 8:20am and not picked up until well after five in the afternoon. When I told the receptionist it was my birthday, she gave me half of her Figurine diet bar.

Strangely enough, I remember that one as one of my better birthdays.

March 20 Trivia Rankings

March 21, 2019

Another great week of trivia! Thanks to all the Quizlings who came out to play in a very competitive game (3-way tie for first place!). We’ll do again in seven days so don’t miss a single week of the fun.

Please take a few minutes to nominate us for Best Trivia Night in Durham County in’s Best of the Triangle 2019. You must nominate in 25 categories for it all to count (cumbersome, I know) so check out our recommendations below* and remember what Glen said: “Everyone eats free if we win this thing!”

This week, we talked about German candy, now-and-forever movie musicals and the closest planet to ours (not what you thought). Plus there was this extremely 80s music memory:


Space Age Loathe Song

March 18, 2019

I know it’s just a cartoon but I hate George Jetson. HATE him. He’s a space-age tool that the future has made soft, weak and puerile. He lets everyone walk all over him, from his wife and kids to his boss and even his pet! If I were George Jetson, I’d send that misfit Elroy to military school, force that precocious Judy into a convent, kick that golddigger Jane to the curb, dismantle that sassy robot maid Rosie and have that freak Astro neutered! “Walk the dog?” What the hell? The dog can bloody well talk – I think he can effin’ walk himself!


Screw you, Astro. You’re going to live on a farm upstate!


March 15, 2019

It’s March 15th and you know what that means – The Ides Of March! Yeah, baby. But around here we don’t read no Shakespeare, no way (we do that the other 364 days of the year).

Nope, on the March 15th here at The Flehmen Response we JAM – to that one-hit wonder, the Ides of March! Join me and groove to the band’s 1970 #1 hit song Vehicle.

Horns! Suggestive lyrics! A 1970s vibe that won’t quit! Damn! Don’t need no soothsayer to tell me it rocks!

March 13 Trivia Rankings

March 14, 2019

I’d like to think every Wednesday Night Trivia at Tomato Jake’s is special and fun and exciting and unique in its own way but this week was EPIC! Check out those scores. That is impressive.

Please nominate us for Best Trivia Night in Durham County at You have until March 23. Since you have to nominate in at least 25 categories for it to count, I have suggestions at the bottom if you need. Thanks and please spread the word.

This week, we chatted about topics along the lines of big penguins, a famous doll toyversary and which Hemsworth brother drew the short straw. Plus there was this Fab Four feature film…

Now here are the week’s trivia rankings with tiebreakers factored in. Again, an amazing display, one and all. (more…)

Tales From My Screwed-Up Childhood #24

March 11, 2019

For some reason, I recall my 12th birthday party. It was a sleepover. We watched scary B movies on TV, ate food picked up from the nearby Pizza Inn, played a lame “truth or dare” (an innocent, pre-pubescent kind wherein the dares were along the lines of “spray a Waterpik® up your nose”) and threw rocks into the swimming pool of my apartment complex. We also did one of those horribly stupid acts, the type that can only be committed by junior high school boys.

When the first of us fell asleep, the rest of us placed a half-eaten lime popsicle in his exposed butt crack. It melted, of course, so that, come morning, this kid had a sticky green fruity residue up his rear. I forget the guy’s name but I have always felt really, really sorry about this. So if this ever happened to you – or to anyone you know – please accept my sincere apologies. I’d claim mob mentality but, truth is, I thought it was kind of funny at the time.

I still do, a little … but that doesn’t mean I can’t have qualms, as well. Right?


March 9, 2019


Five Band Names That Could Be Diseases



Wet Willie

Prefab Sprout 

Wang Chung


Five Historical Superfreaks

Catherine the Great

Dolley Madison

Anna Freud




Five Relationship Dealbreakers

He owns a ferret

She plays the kazoo constantly

He keeps erotic picture of his mom in his wallet

She dresses like Vicki, the robot girl from “Small Wonder”

He/she keeps his/her ex chained up in the basement 


Five Lies On My Resumé 

Debate Club President, High School

Intern, Universal Studios, Florida

Original Ramses the Ram, UNC Mascot

Stand-In for John C. Reilly, Stepbrothers

Inventor of Pop Rocks


Five “Scooby Doo” Secret Character Fears

Fear that the Mystery Machine will get carjacked (Velma)

Fear that Velma will hit on her (Daphne)

Fear that Shaggy will run out of snacks & eat them (Scooby & Scrappy)

Fear that he will be portrayed by Freddie Prinze, Jr. (Fred)

Fear that no one else can hear Scooby talk but him (Shaggy)