Archive for November, 2019

Pantsgiving

November 28, 2019

And so, this Thanksgiving, as you count your blessings, just be extra grateful that you have pants.

Trivia Rankings: 27 November 2019

November 28, 2019

What a fantastic crowd that came out to a pre-Turkey Day quiz! Happy Thanksgiving to one and all. Remember that there will be trivia every Wednesday on into the new year with the exception of December 25th. And on January 1st, we’ll have our New year’s Raffle. Want a raffle ticket? Come out to play between now and then. And bring a newbie for an extra ticket. Possibly other reasons to get extra tix as we move along. Follow me on Twitter for the scoop.

This week? It was all about obscure sports mascots, puppet funerals and the southern working man’s lunch. And then there was this non-edible Turkey Day staple…

Now check out the rankings for the week…

Oh, The Humanity! 69
Who Knew Stone Cold Steve Austin Had A Basketball Team? 66
The Turkey’s Gonna Testify Too 62
The Miami Dolphins Have No Porpoise This Year 60
Those Aren’t Pillows 60
Quirky Turkeys 60
Happy Jakesgiving 59
Knives Won’t Be The Only Thing Out Tomorrow 59
Better Than Emmanuel 58
The One Where we Win Thanksgiving Trivia 57
Stuffed Turkeys 56
Stephen F. Austin For The Win 54
Does Gym Jordan Ever Wrestle With His Consicience? 54
Baby Yoda’s First Thanksgiving 53
Overcooked 49
Mac And Cheese 47
Is Greenland Still Available? 47
Clear Plates, Full Stomachs Can’t Lose 39
The In-Laws & Outlaws 37

FIVE RANDOM FIVE (1980s version)

November 25, 2019

I discovered this old FIVE RANDOM FIVE back from the days of my old LISTSERV column, Sparky Mac’s Super Crucial Totally Boss Deadly Fresh Fun Happen’en! Not sure if it’s still as relevant as it was in 1986, but it wastes time – so enjoy!

 

Five Trends That Need To Go Away Soon

Car phones

Yuppies

The Mullet

Valley Girl Speech

Reaganomics

 

Five Lessons Learned From Hands Across America

The common cold is a communicable disease

Bodacious babes like to save the world

Some people have reeeaaally sweaty palms

R2D2 has hands?!

“Across” is a very vague term

 

Five Reasons I Hate The Rubik’s Cube

Can’t get it to work without taking it apart

Squares be buggin’

Girlfriend left me for some bohunk who solved it in 60 seconds

The colors make me gag

Rubik is like a total hoser

 

Five Women I’d Marry Immediately If They Asked

Rebecca DeMornay

Stacey Q

That Cutie from the Starship Video “Sara”

Rae Dawn Chong

Tie: The Go Gos / The Bangles

 

Five Things You’ll Never Hear During a Game of Gauntlet

“It’s morning in America.”

“Why is there a watermelon there?” “I’ll tell you later.”

“Valkyrie, your lifeforce is bitchin’!”

“Avoid the Noid.”

“I didn’t come here lookin’ for trouble, I just came here to do The Super Bowl Shuffle!”

 

Björk! Björk! Björk!

November 21, 2019

It’s Björk’s birthday! Yes, Björk – onetime Sugarcube, Dancer in the Dark and mother of my children (in a parallel universe). So put on your best swan dress, my Icelandic chanteuse, and sing. SING!

Trivia Rankings: 20 November 2019

November 21, 2019

Thanks to all the Quizlings who came to play our brand of triviawesomeness. A few less than usual but it’s not quantity it’s quality, right (don’t get me wrong – I like the quantity too, so spread the word and bring out the newbies next week).

This week, we faced the music, got sexy with John Legend and got our just deserts with WorldAtlas.com. Plus there was this toy memory…

Now check out the team rankings for the week…

#Fartgate 69
Trivia. We’re On It. 68
Panda Express 67
Ukrain’t Be Serious 64
Hong Kong Phooey 61
Where Is Everybody?! 60
Heart Atacks Require A Heart 58
Hanksgiving 58
Nobody Puts Baby Yoda In A Corner 54
Disney+. We’re On It. 54
4 To Score 52
Gordo’s Crew 48
One Hit Wonders 48
I’m With Stupid 45
Team Name For a Brownie 43

People I Hate #402 (In A Series)

November 18, 2019

Who: The inventor of the Cronut

Why: Croissant + doughnut = instant fame! But think about it – drunks and stoners and the morbidly obese are creating ridiculous new foods every day to no acclaim or profit whatsoever and some NYC foodie manages to wrangle the hipster zeitgeist and the next thing you know this portmanteau pastry is the belle of the bakery ball.

How I justify it: Spite … since the culinary school laughed me and my cannoléclair out of the kitchen.

Nuts To You

November 15, 2019

If you think your life sucks, just think how much suckier it would be if you were Shermy.

Yeah, Shermy – one of the original four characters in Charles Schulz’s funny page staple, Peanuts. Don’t remember him? Of course you don’t. For him, it was all straight lines and full-feature focus. Hell, he had the very first line when the comic made its debut on October 2, 1950. He was a cool, sarcastic li’l SOB until Schulz systematically phased the sucker out of his very own strip! Oh, sure, some would say that it was always Charlie Brown’s sandbox and that everyone else was just an extra, but if you asked old Shermy I’m sure he’d have a different opinion. One day, he’s sittin’ pretty and, the next day, he’s Barney Googled out of his own series! I mean, dammit all, even Zeppo got more respect

So, if you’re having a bad day and think your life is crap, just take heart in knowing it could only be worse if you were poor, poor, pathetic ol’ Shermy.

first-peanuts-comic-strip-october-2-1950 (2)

Trivia Rankings: 13 November 2019

November 14, 2019

What a lively crowd that turned up to play a hot game of trivia under icy conditions! Thanks to all the Quizlings who eschewed Disney+ and the Country Music Association Awards to be part of our Newbvember fun and games. Remember: Newbvember continues all month long – raffles every week so bring those trivia tyros with you to win!

Also of note – there will be trivia every Wednesday except December 25th. That means the evening before Thanksgiving and January 1st. Don’t miss the triviawesomeness.

This week, we were all about Rally Cats and Mercury transits and Toll House cookies. Plus there was this teary tune …

Now, check out the team rankings for the week. Congrats to the winners!

Triviaholics Anonymous                                 67

4th Place is Our Comfort Zone                       66

Brrrrr65Slow Loris                                          63

Mad As Hell                                                        63

We Live In A Country Run By A Count         60

Paging Dr. J                                                         56

I’d Rather Be Watching Disney+                     55

Maggie’s Men                                                      54

Crimea and Punishment                                   52

ImPeach Pie, Please                                            52

69,420                                                                    50

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?                             49

Las Amigas                                                            49

Gordo’s Crew                                                        46

Rando Mandos                                                      45

Hotdish Season                                                      40

Yaddle’s Baby                                                          39

That Sinking Feeling

November 10, 2019

It was 44 years ago today that Gordon Lightfoot’s career got all the fodder it needed for immortality. The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald was a #2 Billboard hit and the finest song about a shipwreck you’ll ever hear. Ah, but the legend lives on…

FIVE RANDOM FIVE

November 9, 2019

 

Five Women I’d Marry Immediately If They Asked

Teryl Rothery

Taylor Swift

Krysten Ritter

Judy Greer

Mrs. Butterworth’s

 

Five Overrated Things

YouTube Stars

The hashtag

Thanksgiving

Craft beer

Fan theories about TV shows

 

Five Historical Goats

Johann Goatenberg

Archduke Francis Ferdinannie

Alexander the Gruff

Nicholas Capricornicus

Billie the Kid

 

Five Good Reasons Not To Tip

You were seated next to the kitchen.

The wait staff was abusive.

Your entrée was still mooing.

The check was written in blood and, when read aloud, summoned several demons that tortured and killed your family.

It’s an outmoded practice that deserves scorn, derision and active rejection.

 

Five Things I’ll Never Say

This head cheese is phat yumptious!

Bartender, could you change the channel to TLC?

What this song needs is another rap breakdown.

‘Sup, bro? Check out my man-bun.

I bet that new James Bond movie passes the Bechdel test!