Archive for November, 2018

November 28 Trivia Rankings

November 29, 2018

Thanks to all the Quizlings who came to close out Newbvember! If you weren’t there, you still have a chance to get in on the raffle-iciousness. All throughout December, come out to play and get a raffle ticket for our January 2nd Ring-In-The-New-Year Raffle! You’ll also get extra raffle tickets for bringing newbies, posting fliers, essentially spreading the love. Join us for the holidays!

This week, we visited some big islands, played sport in the Great White North and got lighter than air on Turkey Day. And then there were these kissin’ cousin nuptials…

Now check out this week’s team rankings. See you next week, Quizlings!

Nikki’s Back, Alright! 66
J Is For Genius 65
Do NOT Get THIS Knickers In A Twist 65
Bah! Humpug! 63
Black Friday Is Undefeated Against My Wallet 62
Kel Varnsen 62
I Guess Ice Cream’s Out Of The Question 61
You Have The Right To Romaine Silent 59
Redacted 59
Return Of The Mack 58
Sparky’s Audit: Fake News 58
Anne Of Green Gables Dad 58
Sparky For Speaker of the House 57
Who’s Dead In A Pineapple Under The Sea 54
BILFs & Co. 53

Poppin’ Fresh!

November 27, 2018

I think it was back in 1986. Me and my man Orville Redenbacher were hanging out at Knott’s Berry Farm (Camp Snoopy, if I remember correctly) and these punks tried to cut in line for the Timberline Twister. Turns out it was Bartles & Jaymes. Of course, O-Red (as I called him) was about to bust a gasket, since he and B&J had been nemeses ever since the trio had had a falling out over Betty Grable at a USO dance in ’42. So we set about to rumble, right there and then. Orville pulled out his switchblade and I got my crossbow but the wine cooler boys were packin’ some serious heat and so Orville and I cut our losses and made a beeline for the safety of Fiesta Village, where we ate sno-cones and corn dogs until our tummies hurt.

We kinda lost touch after that, he and I. But to this day I can never enjoy a bag of Orville Redenbacher SmartPop! Butter without smelling his old man aftershave mingled with the aroma of cotton candy and fear sweat.

Today would have been his 100th birthday. I still miss you, old friend.


Generation Gape

November 24, 2018

I think, as you get older, the predisposition to find the younger generations so bloody annoying is so that when they leave you out on that ice floe to die it’ll feel like a damn blessing!

November 21 Trivia Rankings

November 22, 2018

Happy Thanksgiving, Quizlings! For those of you who didn’t make it out to play this week, I hope you can join us for the final week of Newbvember next Wednesday. Bring a trivia newbie and get a raffle ticket for the final drawing – two gift cards will go home with lucky Quizlings.

Here are the rankings for the week.

Pumpkin Pizza Pie 68
Death By Romaine 65
Relatives Schmelatives Thanksgiving Is For Drinking With My Cat 64
Addicted To the Bean 61
Eat, Drink & Cranberry 61
Outside Team Is Back 60
Finnish Floor Rakers 59
Subpoena Me Or We Won’t Answer Any Questions 58
Bachman Turkey Overdrive 57
The Stuffed Turkeys 52
Cooking Turkey? Microwave On High For 25 Minutes 46
BILF & Co. 37
Mmm! I’ll Romaine, Romanine, Spam & Romaine 34

FIVE RANDOM FIVE (Thanksgiving Edition)

November 19, 2018


Five Regrettable Macy’s Parade Balloons

Hitler’s Moustache – 1937

Rob Lowe Dancing with Snow White – 1989

Occupy Wall Street – 2012

Nixon with a metal detector – 1973

Brian Dunkelman – 2002


Five Little Known Thanksgiving Traditions

Gravy dancing

Tryptophantasy football

Turducken chuckin’

Stuffing the second cousin

The pardoning of the yams


Five Pilgrim Complaints

That boat was really cramped.

The New World smells like ass.

Those #@&% posers in Jamestown.

Buckle hats are soooo 1618!

Squanto and Myles Standish should just get a room, already!


Five Pie Injuries

Hot cobbler blisters

Crust in the eye

Sprained meringue

A la mode on the knee

Carpal tunnel rhubarb


Five Broadway Musicals for Turkeys

The Best Little Henhouse In Texas

A Chorus Brine

Joseph and the Technicolor Butterball

Kinky Snoods

Giblets Over Broadway


Let The Turkeys Get You Down

November 16, 2018

So … we’ve received all the relatives’ dietary restrictions and I think it’s safe to say that this will be the best gluten-free, carb-free, nut-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, low-fat, low-sulfur, low-protein, low-sodium, kosher, halal, paleo, macrobiotic, vegetarian Thanksgiving ever!

November 14 Trivia Rankings

November 15, 2018

Another week, more newbies and another gift card raffle. Newbvember continues all month long so conscript your pals who haven’t played with us before and getcher raffle tix each week.

This week we said goodbye to a comic book legend, celebrated some awesome toy inductees and sued a teenage witch with some Satantists. Then there was this choice wiener dog…

Now check out this week’s team rankings…

Pandas Are Monkeys 64
BILFs & Company 62
Annie Lied – The Sun Will Not Come Out Tomorrow 61
It’s Raining, It’s Sleeting & Trump Is Still Tweeting 59
Excelsior! ‘Nuff Said 59
Bobby Bob And the Funky Bunch 58
A Third Of Our Team Is At Hamilton 55
What A Marvel! ‘Nuff Said 55
Looking Forward to Giblets On Our Pizza 54
Stan Lee Will Return … ? 51
Anne Of Green Gables’ Dad 48
Ramrod 46
Juan Solo 46
Trivia? I Thought this Was AA 45
 Hopefully Not Last Again 40

Pika the Week

November 13, 2018

Oh. My. God. I want to Fandango this sumbitch so badly right now. Seriously, I’m burning vacation days to see this one as soon as it opens. I may start camping out now.

Wurst Week

November 10, 2018

When I was seven, my birthday party was held at a restaurant called the Wiener King. They roped off an area for us kids and had hot dog shaped balloons and a hot dog shaped cake and banana splits with red bananas to make them look like hot dogs. We got hot dogs for lunch and even played “pin the wiener on the bun.”

Man, that was some seriously messed up Freudian shit.


November 7 Trivia Rankings

November 8, 2018

Newbvember got off to a great start and some lucky Quizling went home with a Dunkin Donuts gift card. Want your shot at similar prizes? Bring a trivia tyro out to play any Wednesday this month to enter our raffle!

This week, there was talk of koala kin, dark web marketplaces and hackey sack origins. Plus there was this majestic mascot…

Now let’s check out the full team rankings for the week…

Hit The Road, Jeff 67
A Woman’s Place Is In The House And Senate 67
No More Political Ads 🙂 67
We Voted. Do We Get A Brownie? 66
So When Does The Early Voting End? 62
Smurf’s Up In The House 62 (tie)
Ban Christmas Music In November 62 (tie)
Trivia > Hamilton 60
The Primary Unicorns 60
Nameless Team Needs A Jock 59
Beto 2020 59
The Calzones … Betrayed Me? 57
Does Your Vote Count If You Don’t Post the Selfie? 56
Moist 53
Swing & A Miss 48
The Blue Shells 48