Posts Tagged ‘Commercials’

A New Lease On Lie

June 6, 2017

I needed to rent a car a while back and I called around and, hey, interesting thing here – Enterprise would not pick me up.  Their commercials say they do but from my experience … eh, not so much.  Not saying that Enterprise is a lying sack, I’m just suggesting that maybe that slogan – “We’ll pick you up” – might want some amending to something a little more along the lines of accurate like: “We’ll pick you up … sometimes.” or “We’ll pick you up if we’re in the neighborhood, bra.” or “We’ll pick you up if the mood hits us so stop griping about it and just get off our #$%ing backs!”  Just saying.

The Feeling’s NOT Mutual

August 21, 2015

You know who I feel sorry for? Reeeeally feel sorry for? Those angry people in the Liberty Mutual commercials.

Yeah, I know they’re actors. And I know insurance is a scam that sucks. And I know I’m pretty angry about my rates right about now but – damn, those jokers are disgruntled as hell and it’s pretty unsettling.

I mean, let’s look at most ad campaigns for insurance – teleporting agents, animated geckos, upset cavemen, whee-wheeing pigs, Liz Lemon’s boyfriend wreaking havoc and even the president from 24. Even when they’re sorta serious, they’re still kinda fun and whimsical. It’s as if the spots are subconsciously saying: “Yeah, we know everyone hates insurance so let’s at least entertain you a little.”

But then these Liberty Mutual hardcases happen along and regale you with sob stories of crappy insurance companies that screwed them over until they switched to the commercial’s company. By the time you see the Liberty Mutual graphic at the end, the sour taste is so fully in your mouth it might as well do a cavity check and all you can do is feel so sorry for the scowling, frustrated, upset claimants.

Bottom line: Lighten up Liberty Mutual. Insurance reeks as bad as your ads but you don’t have to drag us all down to your level of bitter resentment and abject irritation.

Shirt Shrift

January 14, 2015

There’s this radio commercial I hear on occasion. Don’t know if it’s local, regional or national but, like so many radio offerings, it pisses me the hell off because it’s so ridiculously stupid.

It begins with a simple question: What’s the best way to bring people together? Whatever a practical answer to this might be, the ad’s is a chorus of people gleefully shouting, “T-SHIRTS!”

Whaaaa – ?! T-shirts are the BEST way to bring people together?! What fantastic, world-changing news! Want to end gridlock in DC? Just get the jokers some t-shirts. Middle East, why you be buggin’? You just haven’t worn the right t-shirts!

Hey, I know it’s just a dumb ad but if you’re going to use a little hyperbole make it at least believable. “Our shirts are the best!” “Everyone loves our shirts!” Not “Our shirts cure cancer!”

And while we’re at it, use a hook that is, at least, universally positive. T-shirts bring people together? Same can be said for funerals.

Dese Nuts

October 7, 2014

Another Snickers ad? Ho hum, you might say but you’d be wrong when the ad in question features Mr. Bean as a ninja and has the greatest slogan that would never fly here in the States because it is British and far too bloody clever. Enjoy this awesomeness.

Cat Pitch Fever

March 27, 2014

I don’t know why talking cats in commercials seem to be trending but it doesn’t matter because I love it! Cute kitties, funny dialogue, CGed anthropomorphization, who wouldn’t be feline groovy? Check out these Morris wannabes fur some laffs.

Limp Biscuit

November 6, 2013

I’ve been noticing a trend in fast food commercials. Well, less of a trend, more of a marketing ploy. And I think it’s important that I blow the lid off this whole breakfast-making BS.

Listen up: despite what Madison Avenue wants you to believe, fast food franchise biscuit makers are not some rare breed that having a noble calling to get up before the crack of dawn to lovingly craft the perfect baked confection from scratch. They do not smile and whistle while they work. They do not exist solely to please your palate. They do not make their parents proud. 

I have seen them depicted in such a manner on TV and heard the same in radio ads. I know Carl’s Jr., Burger King, Jack in the Box, McDonald’s and others want you to believe this myth, as if this preposterous backstory was necessary to enjoy a fluffy, artery-clogging monstrosity crammed it in your mouth as you speed down the interstate, but it is and always has been a sad, sad lie.

I know. For I was a teenage biscuit maker.  (more…)