What’s on my mind? What have I been watching? What have I been doing? What have I been talking about? The Hot Ten will bring you up to speed.
TACO BELL MEAT MAY NOT BE BEEF. So charges an Alabama law firm, suggesting that calling it “seasoned beef” is false advertising and the taco filling is nothing more than a “meat mixture.” My guess is DNA testing may turn up more than a little Chihuahua in that mixture.
RAHM EMANUEL CAN’T RUN FOR CHI-TOWN MAYOR. An Illinois court rules the former Obama Chief of Staff wasn’t a legal resident of the Windy City for the past year and is, thus, ineligible. Since when did legality, ethics and principles factor into Chicago politics?
FLAVA FLAV OPENS CHICKEN RESTAURANT. His chicken comes in “original” or “extra crack-sy.”
OPRAH EXCITED TO FIND SISTER SHE DIDN’T KNOW SHE HAD. More excited to find Twinkie she didn’t know she had.
STATE OF THE UNION MIXED SEATING. Congress to sit amongst opposite party in order to foster togetherness – and hypocrisy.
BATH SALTS GROWING DRUG PROBLEM. Who knew that Mr. Bubble would be the new Scarface?
FITNESS GURU JACK LALANNE DIES AT 96. What? I thought exercise was supposed to keep you alive!
TWILIGHT TOPS WORST MOVIE LIST. Huh? Did someone not see The Tooth Fairy?
SELF-CONTROL TURNS KIDS INTO SUCCESSFUL ADULTS. Lack of self control turns kids into Jersey Shore roommates.
LANCE ARMSTRONG ENDS INTERNATIONAL CYCLING CAREER. Well, after all the ups and downs, let’s at least hope he had a ball.
Sparky MacMillan is not a girl, not yet a woman.