Archive for June, 2010

Conan the Barbarian: The Musical

June 30, 2010

Oh, come on. Why aren’t you watching this already?

Lie of the Bland

June 29, 2010

Who is more likely to lie about their age?  According to National Demographics Magazine, it’s men.  Specifically, middle-aged men between 45 and 60 with blue collar jobs who have gym memberships they don’t use and an allergy to shellfish.  (The folks at National Demographics need lives desperately.)

FIVE RANDOM FIVE

June 28, 2010

Five Returning Summer Shows Worth Watching

Rescue Me

Eureka

Psych

The Closer

Being Human

 

Five Misunderstood Condiments

Chutney

Capers

Tapenade

Wasabi

Chow Chow

 

Five First Date Conversation Killers

Story of redundant spleen removal

Euthanasia of elderly relatives

Scientology and/or Libertarianism

Grout

Costco-sized Lamisil supply in the back seat

 

Five Often Overlooked Pop Culture Rabbits

Greg the Bunny

Fiver (Watership Down)

Tie: Flopsy, Mopsy, Cotton-tail

Mr. Bunny Rabbit (Captain Kangaroo)

Mr. Floppy (Unhappily Ever After)

 

Five Punchlines to Australian Dirty Jokes

Maybe the dingos ate your baby.

We call her “Boomerang” because she always comes back.

No, I said, “Duck-billed platypus!”

Nobody likes Kangaroo Jack!

Down under.

                        Sparky MacMillan is bulging with what could be muscles.  

Sailor Mook

June 27, 2010

What do you do with a drunken sailor … what do you do with a drunken sailor … what do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning? 

Seriously, I really need to know as soon as possible. My cousin Sean is right in the middle of a 72-hour shore leave – and a 48-hour bender.

GLANCE A LOT LINKS

June 25, 2010

Some call them time wasters. Others call them a good reason to procrastinate for another hour or so.  And, no, those aren’t the same thing.  

LOST may be over – hang on … sniff … need a moment – but people still obsess.  Like some cartographer who made his own map of the island.  Very nice.  Obsess a little longer, my friend.  

Steve Martin has been a standup comedian, an author, a Top 40 hitmaker, a wild ‘n’ crazy guy, a serious actor and a banjo playin’ fool.  It is the latter which proves he’s still a funny, funny man because when he travels around playing his instrument he demands things a certain way.  Check out STEVE MARTIN’S LEAKED TOUR RIDER.   And forgive him for The Pink Panther.

The VCR may have given way to the DVR but they are still the coolest, most awesome devices ever created.  If you believe their press.  See 10 REASONS WHY VCRS ARE INCREDIBLE (ACCORDING TO OLD VCR ADVERTISEMENTS).  

Woman’s Day – wait, what? – uh, yeah, Woman’s Day presents 10 CONTROVERSIAL BILLBOARDS.  Really?  Woman’s Day?

Finally, MY FOOD LOOKS FUNNY.  Tastes great but looks funny.  Yeah, just sayin’.

DVR Alert, Meatbag!

June 24, 2010

Good news, everyone!  Matt Groening’s animated sci fi comedy FUTURAMA is back, baby!  For my money, it’s the superior Matt Groening animated series.  That’s heresy to some; gospel to others.  Regardless, it’s amazingly hip and funny and all that good stuff that makes a series return years after FOX cancels it.  New episodes air tonight on Comedy Central

Inform the men.

Astrologeez

June 24, 2010

If you were born today, your Zodiac sign is Cancer (June 21st thru July 22nd). 

Man, talk about bad omens!  What kind of astrological sign is that to saddle a body with?  You might as well say you were born under the sign of Tumor or Psittacosis or Lou Gehrig’s Disease

Bloody hell!  I’d rather be one of those creepy Moon Children.

Whedonesque

June 23, 2010

In honor of the inimitable Joss Whedon’s birthday, here’s his brave musical theatre debut on a live This American Life

Food Of The Gods?

June 22, 2010

I usually come down on the side of “culinary evil” when it comes to caloric gobstoppers like KFC’s Double Down, Red Robin’s Wise Guy Burger and McDonald’s now-quaint-by-comparison McGriddle.  But this one – THIS ONE – looks kinda awesome.   It’s Friendly’s Grilled Cheese BurgerMelt and if you can substitute something from Morningstar Farms or Boca for the meat then I am totally in!  Too bad the nearest Friendly’s restaurant is 89 miles away.  Hmm.  Too bad? Or total excuse for a road trip?!

Or I can just make me a grilled cheese right here at home.

The Name’s Game

June 21, 2010

I love this.  There’s a remake of the 1985 film Fright Night in the works.  No, that’s not why I’m giddy; I’ve never seen the original, although I’m told it has a cult following of sorts.  That the cast list includes personal faves David Tennant (he of Doctor Who fame) and Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin’) is superb but, again, not why I’m thrilled to bits. 

See, I just learned that a lovely young British actress has been cast in this cinematic offering.  I’m not familiar with her or her previous work but I plan on keeping an eye on her and I will be seeing this film on opening day – all on the strength of this one comely thespian’s name: Imogen Poots.

Aw, come on now, isn’t that just awesome?  Imogen Poots!  Not that I think it’s kosher to make fun of anyone’s name, but I’m just enamored of the thought that a woman with the surname Poots.  You just know she’s got to have a wicked sense of humour!  She’s got to take this all in stride and probably gets things off on the right foot by making witty self-deprecating bon mots about her own name upon introduction.  Now, that’s my kind of woman!