Five Irrational Fears
Fear that the mirror guy is stalking you
Fear the color mauve will kill you while you sleep
Fear that if you smelt it you really have dealt it
Fear of denim based life forms
Fear of air quotes
Five Waiting Room Mistakes
Not checking in
Sitting next to a coughing kid
Reading a 3-year-old US News & World Report
Making eye contact with anyone
Assuming the staff actually gives a damn
Five Band Names That Could Be Diseases
Naked Eyes
The dB’s
Quarterflash
Chilliwack
Chumbawumba
Five Game Shows In Hell
Wheel of Misfortune
Card Sharks With Actual Sharks
Match Game BM
Win Ben Stein’s Kidney
Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?
Five Signs You’re Dating A Doctor Who Fan
He doesn’t call you his girlfriend but his companion
He lists UNIT as a reference on his resume
Draws an extra heart on all his Valentine’s Day cards
His fashion sense relies heavily on scarves, brollies, fezzes and bowties
During sex, he screams, “It’s bigger on the inside than it is on the outside!”