Posts Tagged ‘Batman’

FIVE RANDOM FIVE

April 27, 2018

 

Five Bad Local Commercials

Bear Mountain Sports

Jesus Christ Bail Bonds

Auto Connection

Girl, Job Fair, Word

Eastwood Insurance

 

Five Books I Recommend That You’ve Probably Never Heard Of

The Wampanaki Tales by James Howard Kunstler

The Quartzsite Trip by William Hogan

Super-Folks by Robert Mayer

The Choking Doberman: And Other “New” Urban Legends by Jan Harold Brunvand

Diet for a New America by John Robbins

 

Five of My Favorite Sci Fi Clichés

The alien planet turns out to be Earth

Protagonist attempts to change the past, thereby creating the future he hoped to prevent

The alien is not the bad guy but the good guy

The hero turns out to be dead or from a parallel Earth or an alien

… But no one remembers!

 

Five Ways to Prank a Roommate, Two of Which I’ve Done

Lysol in his milk

Ex-Lax brownies

Identity theft

Skunk juice in his fabric softener

Cardboard standup of Batman in the shower

 

Five Bad Places to Hide a Spare Key

Under the front door mat

The lock

On your keychain with the other keys

Fiji

The Paleozoic Era

 

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But What’s Up With That Seal?

December 11, 2017

I could go into deep detail about my longtime love/hate relationship with the 1960s Batman television series … how the show’s camp nature seemed to forevermore stain the public psyche where the Dark Knight was concerned yet how much damn fun the whole mishigas was so it almost offsets my ire …

I could go into detail about it all but I think this clip speaks for itself…

FIVE RANDOM FIVE (Justice League Edition)

November 18, 2017

Five Things Superman and Batman Fight Over

Which is cooler – the Batcave or the Fortress of Solitude

Who has the more tragic backstory

What toppings to get on a pizza

Batman never clears old episodes of Say Yes To The Dress from the JLA DVR

Whether to raise Robin Jewish or Lutheran

 

Five Legion of Doom Pet Peeves

Swamp headquarters attracts a lot of bugs

No healthy snacks in the commissary

Lex Luthor turned casual Fridays into pantless Fridays

Not nearly enough toys (Toyman only)

Solomon Grundy never flushes

 

Five Flash Pick-Up Lines

I like fast girls.

Don’t tell anyone … but my secret identity is Brad Pitt.

What has two thumbs and owns a cosmic treadmill? THIS guy!

Yeaaaaah, I know Green Arrow.

I’m only the fastest man alive when I’m fighting crime, if ya know what I mean. 

 

Five Milestone Comic Book Issues

Brave and the Bold #28 – The Justice League bands together for the first time

Flash #123 – Re-introduces Justice Society of America into continuity

Extreme Justice #2 – First appearance of Martian Manhunter’s longtime companion, G’ary

Justice League International #18 – Guy Gardner given atomic wedgie by Booster Gold

JLA #59 – Elongated Man and Sue Dibny attend a key party 

 

Five Justice League Hazing Initiations

Taking Aquaman “midnight swimming”

Streaking through the Avengers HQ

Drinking a fifth of vodka and reciting the Green Lantern oath

Pantsing Alfred

Burying the Wonder Twins in a shallow grave in the desert

 

FIVE RANDOM FIVE (Superhero Edition)

February 7, 2017

Five Batman Mistakes

Not getting over the death of his parents

Underestimating Bane

Not adopting Dick Grayson

Nipples on the Clooney Batsuit

Everything Adam West

 

Five Really Lame But Kinda Useful Superpowers

Ability to keep Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia from melting (once it’s been scooped into a bowl only)

Power to keep dogs from defecating on your lawn by emitting powerful pheromone that alerts canines to your dominance

Can tell the age of a wine by listening to it being poured

Cablekinesis (can turn Time-Warner DVR on & off from across the room without a remote)

Talent to detect what a person ate by sniffing their passed gas

 

Five Rejected Avengers

Iron Manwich

Captain America Ferrara

Hawkeye Pierce, MD

The Black Window

Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELDS & YARNELL

 

Five Comic Book Sound Effects I Recently Read

ZZZZXXXXXXTT

KSHHHRHH

POKA-POKA-POKA-POKA!

PAFT

FABOOM

 

Five Spider-Man Complaints

Web shooters run out of fluid at inconvenient times

People think spiders are insects

Reporters forget to hyphenate name

Sweaty mask = oily T-Zone

Mary Jane rarely lets him “hit the jackpot” anymore

October 19 Trivia Rankings

October 19, 2016

It was a fantastic night for trivia, Quizlings. I hope you were able to make it. If you didn’t, you missed out on how you could get your share of 25 raffle tickets. Yes, 25!!!! (I may elucidate later, so pay close attention to this space).

What happened? We talked of marsupial milk, Nobel prizes and late night regrets. Plus we got into Batman’s finances … check out the list of the Forbes Fictional 15.

Now here are the rankings. How’d your team do?

We’re Here To Actually Answer Questions 67
We’re Missing The Debate For This? 67
The Helen Keller School Of Interior Design 62
When They Go Low, We Go To Trivia 59
#ThanksCandadIFeelBetterNow 56
I Don’t Know 53
Stand By Your Pig 48
Trump & Hillary’s Love Child 43
Don’t Forget To Vote November 28 42
This Debate is Trivial 41
Bad News Beers 33
Jack Said, “Disco Spiders” 29
Shameless Plug: The Cottage Salon 29
Our Smart Guy Can’t Make It – Can We Borrow Yours? 19

FIVE RANDOM FIVE (Batman v. Superman Edition)

March 25, 2016

Five Things Superman and Batman Fight Over

Which is cooler – the Batcave or the Fortess of Solitude

Who has the more tragic backstory

What toppings to get on a pizza

Who left the toilet seat up

Whether to raise Robin Jewish or Lutheran

 

Five Surprising Things In Batman’s Utility Belt

Universal Remote

Axe Body Spray

Hello Kitty Band-Aids

Pickle Relish

A naked picture of Aunt Harriet

 

Five Lame Superman Superpowers

Super-Green Thumb (his garden is awesome!)

Super-Karaoke (his air guitar is pretty great, too)

Super-Lint Roller (can attract all the fluff and cat hair in a room)

Super-Seasoning (knows just what herbs & spices to add to any dish)

Super-Regularity (poops everyday at 7:43am, like clockwork)

 

Five Milestone Comic Book Issues

Detective Comics #27 – First appearance of Batman

Superman #10 – Fifth appearance Lex Luthor (first bald Luthor)

Batman #600 – Donald Trump buys Wayne Manor

Superman Family #185 – Perry White’s prostate cancer scare

World’s Finest #259 – Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent attend a key party

 

Five Justice League Hazing Initiations

Taking Aquaman “midnight swimming”

Streaking through the Legion of Doom HQ

Drinking a fifth of vodka and reciting the Green Lantern oath

Pantsing Alfred

Burying the Wonder Twins in a shallow grave in the desert

 

The Name Lame 2015

July 18, 2015

Nameberry, the baby name website, has released the most popular baby names for the first half of 2015. Now let me say, what with the preponderance of hip Gen X names likes Britney and Madison and Blane and Shane and Trane and all, I’d kind of given up hope that any kid born after 1995 would have a name that wasn’t going to get his or her arse kicked at recess. Nonetheless, I’m honestly at a loss for what’s going on here.

See for yourself.

Girls:

  1. Selfie
  2. Anaconda
  3. Gone Girl
  4. Roku
  5. Sochi
  6. Ebola
  7. Maleficent
  8. Nae Nae
  9. Spotify
  10. Candy Crush

Boys:

  1. Groot
  2. Magic Mike
  3. Sharknado
  4. American Ninja
  5. Smaug
  6. Trump
  7. Batman
  8. Bro
  9. Pharrell
  10. Dude

Do we need a law, people? I’m thinking, yeah, maybe we do.