Archive for December, 2008

All in For 2008 (Year-End Blowout #6)

December 31, 2008

As the year winds down, here’s the remainder of those links that fell by the wayside.

How well do you know your fictional bands?  If you have a life, you’ll find the answer may be: “Not so much.” But take this I’M WITH THE FICTIONAL BAND quiz and find out.  (I scored quite highly, not surprisingly.)

If you’re a Coen Brothers fan, take a gander at this site that’s RANKING THE FILMS OF THE COEN BROTHERS.

If new age sci fi and philosophical fantasy and pretension are your thing, you’ve a friend in RONALD CHEVALIER.  Meet the man, the myth, the mmmmmm - uh, other m-word at his home page.

And even though the latest season is done, you can still enjoy the Showtime series DEXTER by taking DEXTER’S PSYCHO THERAPY inkblot test.  Not as disturbing as taking psychological advice dispensed online seriously, but still…

Sparky “Pesky the Exciteable Boy” MacMillan

Cloverfeel (Year-End Blowout #5)

December 31, 2008

I happened upon this ad for the Norway lottery (I think it’s the Norway lottery – I’m too frightened to watch it again for fear of succumbing to a bizarre alien spore) and was more than a little put off.  Granted, nothing says lucky like a four-leaf clover but the way it’s portrayed in this spot is more reminiscent of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.  Cloverheads?  Eerie.  Just eerie.

The Crap Crusader (Year-End Blowout #4)

December 30, 2008

Check out this slideshow of the WORST COMIC BOOK MOVIE ADAPTATIONS.  Yes, it includes Catwoman.  And Judge Dredd.  And Superman IV: The Quest For Peace. And .. oh, hell, just look at the bloody slideshow!

Sci Fidelity (Year-End Blowout #3)

December 30, 2008

What are the TEN MOST AWESOME SCI FI THEMED MUSIC VIDEOS?  Asked and answered. 

Come for the Mr. Roboto; stay for The Human Touch.

Missing, Presumed (Year-End Blowout #2)

December 29, 2008

Things that never happened but were promised?   Universal health care springs to mind.  But I’m thinking more along the lines of 31 LOST PROJECTS WE’RE HOPING TO SEE IN THE WAKE OF CHINESE DEMOCRACY.

That’s Using Your Head (Year-End Blowout #1)

December 28, 2008

All year long I accumulate all sorts of odds and sods – web sites, videos, the type of stuff that amuses me.  Most of it I pass along to you, the eager TFR reader.  The rest I store for future use, hoping that one day it will become necessary or relevant. 

All week long, enjoy these leftovers of 2008. Things, people, places that I felt might at last be shared.  Or at least waste a few minutes.

I was never quite sure what this ad was on about.  Carnivorous produce?  Strange selling point for a burger joint.  I guess I figured it all had something to do with how Cabbage Patch Kids got made.  Some odd merging of lettuce and a Raggedy Andy or something.  Dirty little rascal.

Radio Ga Ga

December 27, 2008 extols the wonders of the sitcom NewsradioDAMN!

Holy Night!

December 25, 2008

Happy Holidays, One & All!

10 More Things About Christmas That Really Bug Me

December 24, 2008

Last year I regaled you with 10 Things About Christmas That Really Bug Me. I stand by the list.  But it wasn’t complete.  Not by far.  So here are ten more.

How Much the 12 Days Cost. Every year some joker does his sums to come up with an accurate accounting of how much it would run to buy (or rent) all the things mentioned in the 12 Days Of Christmas tune.  Sounds neat and fun in a slow news day kind of way but it’s honestly a total waste of time.  Sure, maybe there was a king or a sultan or some kooky Trump type who at one time actually considered buying all these things for his true love, but for the majority of us the practicality of it all just staggers the imagination.  Granted, the five gold rings might be a nice present (as might be the eight maids a-milking, if we play our cards right) but who wants to go cleaning up after all those swans and hens and turtle doves? 

The War on Christmas.  There isn’t one.  End of story.  So all you Bill O’Reillys can quit your bitchin’ and understand that your paranoia and bluster over nothing more than the rational assertion that maybe, hmm … yeah, church and state really should be separate makes us on what could probably be called “the other side” honestly want to start a freakin’ War on Christmas!

Ads in the style of classic Holiday Specials.  Okay, maybe the first one in the style of a Rankin-Bass special was cute but the second one was just derivative.  And any one that follows is a pale imitation. 

Frosty the Snowman.  I always found myself bothered by this guy.  He wasn’t alive until a magician’s hat got placed on his head.  Then he’s suddenly everyone’s frozen pal!  So does that mean that every snowman is a form of life that’s being deprived of being by the mere lack of a hat?  That’s creepy.  And then he makes his way to the North Pole to hang with Santa. So what?  He can’t really help him with his rounds because half the world is in the Southern hemisphere and therefore in summer during Christmastime.  “Come on, Frosty!  Hop on the sleigh!  Time to deliver toys to all the good girls and boys!  First stop: Australia!”  “Uh … but Santa … I don’t think that’s such a good idea.  I’ll just stay here and hang out in the walk-in freezer, okay?”  Sure you can say that Santa’s magic keeps Frosty frosty but then why not just say the same magic hat that gives him his pseudo-life also affords him an invulnerability to heat as well?  It’s freakin’ magic, people!  No need to overthink it.

Office parties.  Occasionally, they’re actually fun but more often than not they’re boring drudgeries that are only perfunctorily thrown by people who still lament the positive changes brought about by Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle.  Plus it’s a party with your co-workers: the people who drive you nuts and have developed backbiting and gossip to a fine art.  Dental surgery without anesthetic sounds more pleasurable.

Mistletoe.  Never works like it does on TV or in films.  There’s always more awkwardness than there is liplocking.  Like when you try to nudge past drunken Uncle Stanley at the family get together and he makes some weird comment about how you’re both under the mistletoe, heh heh.  You’re not quite sure if he’s trying to get out some weak homophobic slur or actually making a pass at you.

Milk & cookies.  They tell you Santa gets hungry on his rounds and so you should leave out some milk & cookies.  You do so and then in the morning there’s a bite out of one of the cookies and half the milk is gone!  Santa was here!  Hallelujah!  Of course as a kid you’ll buy anything.  And that’s what gets me.  It’s like all the adults got together and said, “Okay, we’ll tell the children that this old fat guy goes all around the world in one night and delivers toys to all the good girls and boys.  He has flying reindeer and comes down your chimney.”  “Ah hell.  No way the kids are gonna buy that one.”  “Well then we’ll tell them to leave out some kind of snack item and then we’ll eat some it while they’re asleep.”  “Brilliant!  No child would ever suspect we are lying to them!”  See?  It’s just overkill. 

Santa’s sack.  I don’t know when it became dirty, but somehow it’s now something people can’t say without snickering, like it’s a double entendre in a bad porno.

Bells.  They just seem more prevalent during the holiday season - and therefore more annoying.  Occasionally they can be put to good use as an actual instrument handled by a skilled percussionist.  Occasionally.  More often, it’s wielded by that yokel in front of the Super K begging for money.  Clang clang! Clang-a-clang clang!  Clang clang!  Clang-a-clang clang!  FOR HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS!!!!

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.  Cute kiddie song?  Hardly.  The little brat singing the ditty is all a-titter that mommy’s kissing old St. Nick.  He doesn’t know it’s his dad.  In fact, he opines, “Oh what a laugh it would have been if Daddy had only seen Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.”  Ya think?  Oh yeah.  Dad would really have loved to catch his wife making out with another guy.  Let’s face it, if the kid is correct and it’s not his pop in a fake beard then mommy is, at best, a flirt and a cheat or, at worst, whoring herself out to get the kid his Christmas presents.

The Special Lists

December 24, 2008

Hurrah! It’s a Christmas miracle! 

Topless Robot ranks the 10 MOST UNDERRATED CHRISTMAS SPECIALS EVER!  Okay, maybe not a Christmas miracle.  In fact, they left Ziggy’s Gift off the list again. 

Damn their sugar-plum-coated eyes!