Archive for November, 2007

“Oh? Have you got a video?”

November 30, 2007

Yes, a bunch of videos to round out the week.

First, for a dozen time wasters that you’ve probably already seen but why not relive the cheesy goodness, check out The Webby Awards’ 12 Most Influential Online Videos of All Time. No skateboarding dog but still …

And if you’re a fan of NBC’s Scrubs, you might want to see an extremely heartwarming behind-the-scenes moment where a crewmember pops the big question. Catch Ted and Anna get engaged on the set of Scrubs.

Next, if you need a Lost fix, these webisodes may tide you over. I can’t help but think they may be nothing more than throwaway bits, but I’m willing to give the folks at Lost a lot of leeway. You’ll have to sit through a Verizon ad so annoying that I want to track down the production team responsible and break their kneecaps with a tire iron, but it is ultimately worth it to see the familiar faces in these Lost: Missing Pieces. And my fingers are crossed that Frogurt will pop up in the regular season in 2008.

And, finally, wow, what can I say? I know virtually nothing about sports but I almost wet my pants listening to this incredible rant by Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Carl on football. The title is I’m Pissed, which so completely sums up Carl’s attitude. Enjoy.

All The Right Movies

November 30, 2007

I haven’t seen a lot of movies this year. Well, not at the cinema. Been busy, can’t afford ’em, whatever excuse ya want.

But some folks have and have thus attempted to compile a list of the best. You and I may not agree but we don’t have a list.  

So here someone’s attempt at The 50 Best Films of 2007.

Pass the popcorn.

Winsome Loosen

November 29, 2007

I’m not delusional and I know there’s no chance in hell I will ever date a really hot celebrity, but stuff like this kinda gives me hope, y’know?

Charisma Carpenter has separated from her husband.

Sure, even if I knew her, I’d probably stay 100 feet away just out of a tacit understanding. She’s not only not in my league, we aren’t even playing the same sport. But she’s totally gorgeous and I like to think that in another world, another life … maybe if she were the last woman on earth and I were the last man on earth then she would at least give me that “I think of you like a brother” line or something. 

Ah but you see good news like that and it’s followed by something like this: Jennifer Love Hewitt is engaged.  Again: no shot. No hope. No chance. But as long as she’s on the market, you feel like maybe, just maybe …

I mean Bobcat got Nikki Cox.  Ric Ocasek snagged Paulina. Sure, those guys were celebs but a bloke like me has gotta cheer whenever the bar gets lowered even a teensy tiny bit.

People I Hate #9 (In A Series)

November 29, 2007

Who: Country Music Artist, Trace Adkins. 

Why I Hate Him: Man, I just wanna punch him in the face. Hard. Of course, I feel that way about most macho, posturing, a-swaggerin’, America-love-it-or-leave-it, Ford-truck-man country singers, but – boy howdy – there’s just something about that smug cowboy-hatted … gah, I can barely type with clenched fists!

How I justify it: Not that I need a reason, but Honky Tonk Badonkadonk should suffice as a defensible motive in a court of law.

Music Time

November 28, 2007

A while back someone (I forget who) posed the question – “What 100 songs would you want on your iPod?”

Not possessing an iPod and likely not being able to narrow down the hundreds of possible choices, I nonetheless took to the exercise with all the gusto of a hypothetical moot.  I thought it best to limit it to one song per artist because otherwise, depending on my mercurial moods, I could load 100 Beatles songs or 100 songs from TMBG.

So here it is. My iPod 100 (in roughly alphabetical order). 

Still don’t have an iPod though. Just sayin’.

10CC – I’m Not In Love
Ace Of Base – Beautiful Life
Amboy Dukes – Journey To The Center Of The Mind
Andrew Gold – Lonely Boy

Andy Kim – Rock Me Gently
Animals – Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood
Animotion – Obsession
Arrogance – Your Sister Told Me

ATC – All Around the World
Baltimora – Tarzan Boy
Bangles – Hazy Shade Of Winter
Beatles – Hey Bulldog
Berlin – No More Words

Bjork – Human Behavior

Bloodhound Gang – The Bad Touch
Blue Oyster Cult – Godzilla
Blue Swede  – Hooked On A Feeling
Blues Image – Ride Captain Ride
Bob Welch – Sentimental Lady
Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse Of The Heart

Boomtown Rats – I Don’t Like Mondays
Bram Tchaikovsky – Girl Of My Dreams 
Bruce Springsteen – 4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)

Cardigans – Lovefool
Cheap Trick – Surrender
Concrete Blonde – Joey
Count Five – Psychotic Reaction
Deep Purple – My Woman From Tokyo
Depeche Mode – People Are People
Diesel – Sausalito Summernight

DiVinyls – I Touch Myself
DJ Sammy – Heaven
The Dollyrots – Because I’m Awesome
Donald Fagan – New Frontier
Easybeats – Friday On My Mind
Edwin Starr – War
Electric Light Orchestra – Do Ya
Electric Prunes – I Had Too Much To Dream (Last Night)
Elton John – Funeral For A Friend / Love Lies Bleeding
Elvis Costello – Pump It Up
First Class – Beach Baby
Frankie Goes To Hollywood – Relax
Gilbert O’Sullivan – Alone Again (Naturally)
Graham Parker & The Rumour – I Want You Back
Haircut One Hundred – Love Plus One

Hall & Oates – You Make My Dreams Come True

Harvey Danger – Flagpole Sitter
Head East – Never Been Any Reason
Henry Gross – Shannon

Hoku – Perfect Day
Hollies – Pay You Back With Interest
Ides Of March – Vehicle
Jackson Browne – Here Come Those Tears Again

James Taylor – Don’t Let Me Be Lonely Tonight
Jefferson Airplane – Somebody To Love
Jewel – You Were Meant For Me
Joe Jackson – Is She Really Going Out With Him?
Jonathan Edwards – Sunshine
Justin Hayward – Forever Autumn
Knack – Good Girls Don’t
Lou Christie – Lightnin’ Strikes
Manfred Mann’s Earth Band – For You
Meat Loaf – Paradise By The Dashboard Light
Men At Work – Overkill
Meredith Brooks – Bitch

Michelle Branch – Are You Happy Now?
Mike Cross – The Scotsman
Monkees – Valleri
Moody Blues – Nights In White Satin
Mott The Hoople – All The Young Dudes
Murray Head – One Night In Bangkok
Nick Lowe – Cruel To Be Kind
No Doubt  – Just A Girl
Paramore – Misery Business
Partridge Family – I Think I Love You
Peter Gabriel – Big Time

Presidents of the USA – Lump
Pure Prairie League – Amie / Falling In And Out Of Love
Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now
Rare Earth – I Just Want To Celebrate
Raspberries – Go All The Way

Reel Big Fish – Sell Out
Rick Rock – Buddha Buddha
Rick Springfield – I’ve Done Everything For You
Robert Palmer – Hey Julia / Sneaking Sally through The Alley
Roxy Music – Dance Away 

Sixpence None The Richer – Dancing Queen
Sniff ‘N’ The Tears – Driver’s Seat

Squeeze – Black Coffee in Bed
Sophie B. Hawkins – Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover
Steve Forbert – Romeo’s Tune
Strawberry Alarm Clock – Incense And Peppermints
Sweet – Fox On The Run
Talking Heads – Once In A Lifetime

t.A.T.u. – All The Things She Said
They Might Be Giants – Twisting
Thomas Dolby – Aliens Ate My Buick
Warren Zevon – Werewolves Of London
Yardbirds – For Your Love
Zombies – She’s Not There

Heroic

November 27, 2007

This is billed as The Hardest Heroes Quiz Ever.  Take it and see for yourself: http://television.aol.com/feature/heroes/hardest-heroes-quiz-ever

Warped Power

November 24, 2007

Star Trek.

Okay, sure, to be fair it was the 60s and the budget wasn’t exactly screaming “limitless” but the show had some really lame-ass aliens and monsters and crap.

So, prepare to mock as we set phasers for Star Treks’ 10 Cheesiest Classic Creatures!

(Sadly, Shatner’s hairpiece distressingly missing from the list.)

Thanksgaven

November 23, 2007

Ah, another Turkey Day come and gone. Fun, festivities and family all fed and fattened on a farrago of feasts and football.  

But, jiminy, there was that one awkward moment there, woo boy, where silence gripped the dining room and the assembled looked on agape in confusion. And, no, I’m not talking about Uncle Virgil’s tradition of burping “Over the River and Through the Woods.” No. That always brings rousing applause.  

No, I’m speaking of that horrible, affected instant where we go around the table and all have to share what we are thankful for.  

Oh, sure, it seems easy. “I’m thankful for good food and good family.” Pshaw, old hat. And true, most have no problem choosing a favorite grace to acknowledge.  

Papa Alston has his backgammon and his Quicken program. Maw Maw extolled the virtues of her Sleep Number mattress and her industrial hemp garden. Cousin Ira claimed that he was thankful for an inept legal system and jurors who were “as ignorant as dirt.” Dad mentioned his Weather Channel, Mom her I-heart-Dachshunds Web Site. Grizelda couldn’t stop praising the gals in the quilting circle, commenting on how they’d brought new life to her otherwise dull weekends. Mackie just repeated the usual, albeit sincere, refrain about roadying for Neil Diamond. Aunt Samantha said she was thankful for her sugar daddy in Bakersfield. John-John went on a slight rant about how he was thankful to live in a world where the Red Menace was nothing more than a laughable dream kept alive by crackpots and zany extremists but we humored him nonetheless. Moira bashfully enthralled the table with a Thanksgiving ode to my special prescription which has kept all the gals at the office inquiring as to why she finds it hard to keep anything but a smile on her face every other Monday. The kids, Jake and Maxine, both chimed in about how lucky they were to live with the best parents children could ask for and how happy they were to finally get a PS3. 

But I? I? I paused, reflected, pondered, reached deep into the recesses of my very psyche. What was I thankful for? What could I possibly say that would bear any truth, any weight, any meaning? 

That I was grateful for my life, my health, my friends, family, loved ones? That I was thankful people were finally beginning to question the cost in both economic and ecological terms of SUVs? Was I most thankful for my Heroclix, my Hello Kitty plush toys, my autographed Salinger? Did I most cherish peace, tranquility, honor, courage, my Russian-Lithuanian heritage? Could I honestly say I was most thankful for my Ernest DVDs, my stock in Apple, my frozen seafood business or my collection of vintage letter openers?  

What accomplishment moved me most? That I finally beat my addiction to Pez? That my walk-on in the touring production of “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee” elicited standing ovations from Phoenix audiences? That Salma Hayek at long last returned one of my calls?  

What could I say? What could I mention? What nugget of gratitude could appease my kindred’s appetite for this age-old Thanksgiving tradition? My rare blood type? White Zombie? A decent hair stylist? The fact that I can still get into my high school cheerleading uniform? My extra spleen? The speeding ticket I avoided by pretending to be narcoleptic? My original Pollock? That bug zapper I got for Father’s Day? An extended line of credit at Williams-Sonoma? That I’ve collected over ten thousand signatures on my petition to have the new punctuation mark I created, the Quipple, accepted by literary circles around the world? The fact that the stiffness has finally gone out of my fedora? My panda slippers? That back issue of “Millie the Model” I finally came across? The framed photo of me and Ban Ki-moon? That I’ve finally finished my Broadway musical entitled “Up The Attic!” based on “The Diary of Anne Frank?” That my eczema has cleared? My prehensile toe? The fact that I managed to get Hannah Montana tickets?  

Dammit, I couldn’t choose! So, I sat there, idiotic, dumbstruck, while inertia gripped by mind and everyone looked on like my chest had erupted in a quivering mass of alien parasite.  

Then, suddenly, Banjo the dog very audibly passed gas and the spell was broken. “I’m thankful I don’t have a sense of smell!” I cheered to the delight of all.  

And, with that, we tucked in, making the most of a turkey-shaped tofu and black bean concoction we in the MacMillan household have dubbed “Turket-Me-Not.” Sadly, there’s no tryptophan loginess like in the real thing, but we were all pretty darn satisfied by the time Shiloh started up his annual Scattergories tournament.  

Anyhow. Hope your holiday was good too.

Lincoln Blogs

November 22, 2007

Think everything is better with technology?  Think again.

What if Abraham Lincoln had used Powerpoint to deliver the Gettysburg Address?  Not good. 

See for yourself at http://norvig.com/Gettysburg/sld001.htm

Recipe for Disaster

November 21, 2007

Cookie Cutters (The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh)

Really? Someone thought this was a good idea?

Disgusting.