Archive for September, 2016

September 28 Trivia Rankings

September 28, 2016

Seven years! Blimey, where does the time go? I guess before you know it it’ll be 2023 and we’ll be celebrating 14 years but who really celebrates the decatessara anniversary?

Did you miss the fun? You may have stayed home and dry but you could have seen some Disney characters, watched some balloons pop and had one last shot at that hotel room for the night and dinner for two package we raffled off (congrats, Katy).

The good news? We are extending our seventh anniversary celebration into October! So you’ll get a raffle ticket each week you show up to play plus for extra special reasons I’ll pass along each week.

Now, here are the team rankings:

Queen Of Hearts, Your Order Is Ready 67
Our Answers Are Correct (Don’t Fact Check Us) 63
Live Free Or Thesis Hard 60
2 Smart 2 Pay Taxes 57
Who Will Stop The Rain? 56
My Husband Never Picks The Team Name – Maybe My Next Husband Will 56
Making Trivia Great Again For Seven Years 54
Trump’s No Master Debater 53
I Know More About The Sniffles Than The Generals Do 51
Paul’s Last Trivia 51
Crushing Trivia Like Hillary Crushed Trump 50
Just Here To Unwind 48
1916: Vote, Get $ – 2016: Vote, Pay $ 47
What’s Brown and Rhymes With Snoop? Dr. Dre 45
Bodacious Braggadocious Bros 44
Emily Perry For Prez 2020 43
7th Year’s A Charm 39
Vote Vino 2016 37

FIVE RANDOM FIVE (90s Version)

September 27, 2016

Five Giant Sucking Sounds

Grunge music

Saturday Night Live since Mike Myers & Dana Carvey left

That bugg’n Big Mouth Billy Bass

The ending to Alien: Resurrection

Tie: NAFTA / Ross Perot


Five Women I’d Marry Immediately If They Asked

Ginger Spice

Baby Spice

Posh Spice

Scary Spice

Melissa Etheridge (sorry, Mel C)


Five Things I’ll Never Get Tired Of

Music Videos on MTV


Crystal Pepsi

My Geo Metro

The comic genius of Bill Cosby


Five Things That Have Kept Me Awake At Night

Mad Cow Disease



Milli Vanilli scandal

No more Calvin & Hobbes!!!!! (Seriously, Watterson, that’s wack!)


Five Ways My Tamagotchi Died


Dropped it in the garbage disposal

Dog ate it

Natural causes (as far as you know)

Laughing its freakin’ ass off at that knockoff beeotch Giga Pet

Guest Appearance

September 24, 2016
I ate some Cannelloni once at this kid’s birthday party. His mother came into the kitchen and screamed at me that it was their dinner and I should stay out of her refrigerator. I’m sorry, I said, that orange sherbet and sheetcake you got going on in the den just ain’t doin’ it for me, ladyShe quickly ushered me out the side door and told me never to come back. The joke was on her ‘though since I wasn’t invited to the party in the first place!

September 21 Trivia Rankings

September 21, 2016

What a night! If you weren’t there, Quizlings, you missed out! Everyone got a free gallon of gas – just for showing up to play! Sorry you missed it. Oh well…

Reminder: Next week is the finale of our 7th anniversary celebration! We’ll hold the raffle for a night out (hotel/dinner) and play some special games and maybe a little surprise or two. The point is: do not miss it! Fun is only the least awesome thing that’ll happen.

This week was all about bones and toys and Emmys and poutine. Mmmmmm … poutine.

Remember to bring a newbie next week (last week) to get an extra raffle ticket. One extra per Quizling. But your teammates can bring a newbie. And your newbie can bring a newbie. Take advantage of it while it lasts! (Newbies and Quizlings must be 18 to take part in raffle. All newbies are on the honor system.)

Now, here are this week’s trivia rankings:

Iron Wolves 65
The Art Of The Self Deal 64
Skittles Don’t Kill People… 61
We Used Our Last Gallon of Gas To Get To Trivia 61  (tie)
Do Twins Ever Realize One Of Them Was Unplanned? 61  (tie)
Running On Fumes 58
Divorce Is The Pitts 57
We’d Come Up With Something Clever But We Ran Out Of Gas 54
Sent With Invisble Ink 54
I’ve Got Gas 52
Crash 49
Actually, We Ended The Birther Conversation 42
3 Muska-Beers 39

Moves Like Jaguar

September 20, 2016

This is a Japanese commercial for … cat food? A dance club? Maybe some spay/neuter program? No bloody idea but the rhythm is hypnotizing!


September 18, 2016

Five Rejected Emmy Award Categories

Outstanding Comedy Series That’s Really A Drama Series

Show People Pretend To Watch To Seem Hip

Best Police Procedural That’s Not “Ripped From the Headlines”

Most Overrated Late Night Host

Outstanding Guest Appearance By An Actor Who’s Only Doing It For The Paycheck


Five Bad Names For A Comedy Club


Catch A Bloated Star

The Comic Stripped, Shaved And Left For Dead

The Donkey Punchline

The Laff Sweatshop


Five Fantasy Football Faux Pas

Missing Your League’s Draft

Drafting Nothing But Kickers

Naming Your Team After The League Commissioner’s Dead Mom

Your Entire Line-Up Is Composed Of Players You Did Not Draft

Halfway Through The Season, You Realize You’ve Been Playing Fantasy Foosball


Five Things I’ve Regretted Saying

“I can work an extra shift.”

“Yeah, honey, I’d love to meet your ferret.”

“No dessert for me.”

“One adult ticket for The Last Airbender, please.”

“I do.”


Five Other Illnesses Hillary Clinton Has Been Diagnosed With


Liberal Palsy

Pantsuit Rash

Billpolar Disorder

Illness? What – No, Hillary Doesn’t Have Any Illness! What Have You Heard?

Right To Bear Awesome

September 16, 2016

I don’t live in Missouri and if I did I can’t necessarily say I’d vote for this guy (this is not an endorsement of any kind) but I love this campaign ad where the candidate displays his skills with firearms and his incredible stones.

Seriously. Can we get more campaign ads like this? Yeah, a little more modest chutzpah and a lot less Lochte-esque over-exaggeration, please.

September 14 Trivia Rankings

September 14, 2016

A great night for trivia, Quizlings. Some of you brought your copper and wool offerings and we had a scavenger hunt and some Dunkin’ Donuts found deserving bellies.

Along the way, we learned about sitcoms of the 00s, days of the week and how to really play UNO. Oh, and there was this guy…

Remember to bring a newbie and get an extra raffle ticket all September long (one noob per Quizling per week). Also, follow me on Twitter for more seventh anniversary opportunities.

Now, here are the trivia rankings for the week.

Basket Of Deplorables, Pantsuit Of Stupidity 66
We Got Nothin’ 62
Loki Or Lochte – Coincidence? We Think Not 62
Do YOU Know Where The Rest Of My Team Is? 59
Uuuuuhh… 57
We’re Gonna Need A Bigger Basket 56
We [heart symbol] Cats 56
Ladies Night And We’re Feeling Right 55
Orally Fixated 54
If You Haggle Over An Answer It’s A Trivial Pursuit 53
Dem Bones 48
Stephen Hawking School Of Dance 47
Mensa-Pause 47
H2 Oh! Not The NCAA 45
Are We Really Still Talkng About This? 38
I Guess We Did Need Jack After All 36
Trivia Newton-John 31
Periodic Table Dancers 30
Triangle Clown Posse 30

I Bless The Rains Down In Anfrica

September 13, 2016

I know my geography is rusty (it’s been years since I watched Where In The World Is Carmen SanDiego?) but I’m having a real problem locating Unganda on a map.



September 9, 2016

I was watching old episodes of The Banana Splits on Boomerang late last night and it suddenly occurred to me that, if you can overlook the catchy music and the psychedelic videos and the egregious slapstick, Fleegle, Bingo, Drooper and Snorky are basically a gang. I mean, look at the facts: they hang out in a clubhouse or hideout, they have a known rivalry with another gang (the Sour Grapes Bunch) and they wear colors (okay, technically, they wear colorful Sid & Marty Krofft designed costumes but if I’m stretching an analogy here it’s for everyone’s safety). And what do bananas come in? A bunch. And what’s another name for a bunch? A gang! Let’s face it: venerable children’s icons or not, these guys are just one drive-by away from being rounded up under the RICO act! And I’m not suggesting that the rise of gang-related violence and activity in the 70s and 80s was directly attributable to a generation of kids growing up watching The Banana Splits but it does somehow begin to make sense, doesn’t it?Alls I’m saying is it doesn’t help their case that in order to join their group’s fan club back in the late 60s, you had to bust a cap in the Hanna-Barbera character of your choice. (I chose Lippy the Lion, BTW, so you can thank my 6-year-old self that leonine loser was a veritable no-show in the Laff-A-Lympics a few years later.)