The Rapture on May 21? Some think so. In fact, the superstitious and the ignorant are crapping bricks right about now, all because some preacher with an agenda decided to do some fuzzy math. But the end of the world? Idiots who don’t understand are crying “better safe than sorry” and making peace with their gods … but, honestly, should we worry?
Nope. There are far more troublesome things on the horizon to fret over. Bedbugs, asteroids, polar ice caps melting, IMF heads, yeah, to be sure. And far more than that. Things that you wouldn’t consider at face value as bad. Scary things. You want signs of the Apocalypse? Screw May 21, I got ten of ‘em rightchere!
The Schwarzenegger love child. Check the forehead for the mark of the beast before it’s too late!
Family gives back $45K in found money. Bucking the age-old trend of finders keepers and outright human greed. Something’s unnatural about that, right?
49-Million-year-old spider face in 3D! OMG! Kill it with fire! It’s coming to suck out our brains and blood and internal organs!
Animal Kingdom. A Triple Crown threat – or the first horse of the Apocalypse? And don’t even get me started on the horror that is Kegasaurus!
Final two contestants on “American Idol” are country singers. ‘Nuff said.
Four dollar a gallon gas. We’re getting perilously close to “Americathon” territory here, folks. And I paid money to see that in the cinema so I know how horrible that was!
Honda’s new ad campaign. Seriously. What the hell is THIS?!
Paralyzed man moves freely after transplant. Okay, so it’s not quite “the dead will walk” but we’ve all heard of slippery slopes.
Stink bug epidemic across nation. You say stink bug, I say locust! Regardless, we all know how this turns out.
Newt Gingrich. Just in general. Something hinky going on there, mark my words.
Any one of these “signs” would be enough to make one stockpile water and canned goods in a hastily-dug underground bunker. But, taken as a collective, can the end times really be that far away?
You have been warned.