Archive for August, 2008

GOP Sitting Down

August 31, 2008

So McCain picks a woman for his vice president?  Great.  Now the Republicans have three boobs on the ticket. 

Hey, if he’d really wanted to rattle the Dems he should have picked Rielle Hunter. 

Rattle & Roll

August 30, 2008

When I was a kid and I was asked where I wanted to eat, I would always reply the same thing: Shakey’s Pizza.  Problem was: there was no Shakey’s nearby – or even in my city.  I’d apparently seen a commercial during Thundercats or Dangermouse or something and I thought it was the end-all be-all of pizzeria experiences.  All that piano playing and delicious pizza pie … aw, man; that’s my idea of heaven!

So, one day, my dad – always one to think outside the box and save a few bucks – brought home some Totino’s Pizza Rolls and banged out chopsticks on my sister’s Fisher-Price Step and Play Piano and said that I should stop my whining and never mention those bastards at Shakey’s ever again.

Yeah, we weren’t close much after that, the old man and I.

Sparky “Dixie Chicken” MacMillan


August 29, 2008

I love me a good ad campaign: the Geico gecko, Messin’ With Sasquatch, Axe, hell, even those nimrods who be hatin’ on Chad can carry a 30-second spot.

Now I’ve discovered what may my latest ad fad fave: Silence Your Rooster.  Basically, it’s a handful of 15-second ads that depict various slumberers awakened in the wee hours by a loud noise invariably caused by a rooster.  They’re odd, surreal and slightly eerie.  An interesting combo, to be sure, and one that could sustain a long on-air campaign. Check out drum kit, vacuum, car alarm, pay phone, hair dryer and basketball and you’ll see what I mean.

Unfortunately, the whole thing kinda falls apart when you realize that is a site for the drug Ambien CR.  Meh.  The commercials are better than the product, which isn’t a first (see Starbucks or pretty much any cereal).

Silence Your Rooster.  I guess we can at least be thankful they didn’t call it Zip Your Co – oh, forget it, too bloody easy – like you couldn’t see that one coming with full color guard right down the middle of Pennsylvania Avenue.

Sparky “Creole Thunder” MacMillan

It’s Not A Rumor

August 28, 2008

I am eagerly awaiting the new fall TV season … and I try to avoid spoilers because I like my TV like I like my bagels – fresh and hot and with a schmear.   That being said, I happened upon this notice that took me by surprise:

A Major Character Will Die On Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

My first thought upon seeing this article was how I wish the press wouldn’t leak important plot points ahead of time. 

My second thought was, “Please be Brian Austin Green! Please be Brian Austin Green! Please be Brian Austin Green!” 

Of course, that’s how I got through ten seasons of Beverly Hills 90210.

A More Wretched Hive Of Scum And Villainy

August 28, 2008

I thought the 1978 Holiday Special was the worst thing to come out of the Star Wars universe – well, until the Phantom Menace, that is. But I just discovered this drunk driving PSA from the late 70s…

It’s crap like this that makes a guy wanna take a drink.

Webbed Feat

August 27, 2008

Web sites? Really?  When there’s such a paucity of online places to peruse?  Pshaw!  I gots me connections!  (Broadband, to be specific.) 

When talking of television, one can discuss the best shows or one can get really esoteric and rank the 20 BEST SEASONS OF THE LAST 20 YEARS. Quite a list.  And not one I feel much need to quibble with – or over.

I will give a quick smack-you to this list of TOP TEN OVERRATED MOVIES. It’s a discussion starter, nothing more. Because while I enjoy Quentin Tarantino, I wouldn’t necessarily quibble (there’s that damn word again) about any of his films being included (especially Pulp Fiction).  However, I resent Kevin Smith’s Clerks not only being included but ranking so bloody high here.

Changing the subject completely (well, near as) how about we spin some mad tunes with the WHITE HOUSE DJ BATTLE.  No, it’s not a scratch off with DJ Bama versus Spinmeister MC (that would be more entertaining, mind you) – it’s just Blender magazine’s list of the top two presidential candidate’s Top Ten songs.  Is it pretentious and pandering?  You betcher political aspirations!

And, leaving the best for last, it’s SEVEN MTV-DEFINING STARS WHO WOULDN’T BE ALLOWED ON MTV ANYMORE.  Brilliant and spot on.  A must-read for all us old farts who’ve ever said, “Why doesn’t MTV show videos anymore?”

Sparky MacMillan was promised a clown!


August 26, 2008

I’ve never tasted the sweets in question.  I’m not sure if I even get the joke properly.  But I laugh my arse off every time I watch this ad for the Natural Confectionery Co. out of Australia:

My fervent hope is that “Bring on the trumpets!” becomes this year’s “Boom goes the dynamite!”

Sparky “Sweet Styrofoam” MacMillan

Olympic Gams

August 24, 2008

Wow.  16 days, dozens of sports, nearly 90 countries, over 900 medals … a massive, coordinated celebration of athleticism, unity and history.

And all that I can say is: God bless beach volleyball gold medalists Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh.


Keep it up, ladies. You two could actually get me to give a damn about a sporting event!


August 24, 2008

Back in 1954, I met a man who explained that he had no birthday but was still able to celebrate his birthday. I thought it was a riddle at first but he was clearly insane and tried to bite my elbow. 

Worst bus ride ever.

Sparky “Supergator” MacMillan

Slick Pics Mix Nix Clicks Fix

August 22, 2008

CRACKED.COM presents 15 IMAGES YOU WON’T BELIEVE AREN’T PHOTOSHOPPED!  Kind of the visual equivalent of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.  Except without that wacky Fabio.