Archive for October, 2008

Holla-Ween!

October 31, 2008

What’s this?  An All Hallows Eve web site roundup?  Can this be?  Will I continue to speak in questions?  Uh … maybe?

First up, Retrocrush presents THE WORST HALLOWEEN COSTUMES OF ALL TIME.  And we’re not talking toilet paper mummy here – these suckers are store-bought!

Next, Wired.com gives you their READERS’ BEST GEEKY HALLOWEEN COSTUMES.  Nothing says “virgin living in his parents’ basement” like a homemade Robotech costume.

Then, as long as you’re out trick or treating, use these handy HALLOWEEN CANDY CODES.  No sign for the dreaded Bible verse unfortunately.

Also, to get in an eerie mood, relieve ORSON WELLES’ WAR OF THE WORLDS.  The best hoax of all time that wasn’t supposed to be a hoax.  More of a radio-based measurement of people’s stupidity.  Like The John Boy And Billy Big Show.

If telly’s your thing, check out the LEAST SCARY SUPERNATURAL TV SHOWS OF ALL TIME.  Gladys Kravitz will appreciate the effort.

And we’ll wrap it all up with I-Mockery‘s ULTIMATE GUIDE TO HALLOWEEN CANDIES ’08!  How sweet it is!

Enjoy your Halloween, for tomorrow we diet!

Trick Cur Treat

October 30, 2008

I’ve seen a lot of people dressing their dogs up in costumes lately.  A Halloween thing, don’tcha know.  Usually these nunderchucks wait until Christmas to adorn their cards with snaps of Fido wearing antlers and Ruff in a Santa suit, but now it seems hip to stress out puppy with a pumpkin parka or a skeleton hoodie. 

Yeah, alright.  Go ahead.  Keep it up.  Embarrass your canine.  Make a mug of your mutt.  Push poochie past the breaking point. 

You may think it’s cute and all to have man’s best friend decked out in festive, seasonal garb but we’ll see who’s laughing when Cujo’s treating your jugular like a Milkbone.

“I will take my humiliation out of your flesh in bloody chunks.”

Song Sung Blew

October 29, 2008

Like, groovy, baby!  The 1970s were a dyn-o-mite time, man, and the music was solid.  So, let’s all get back and relive the 25 CHEESIEST HITS OF THE 70s

I mean, hell – I don’t want to be the only one to be humming this crap all day.

Fruit of the Boom

October 28, 2008

Although I admit to being slightly queasy at the thought of a humongous implement of penetration around my foodstuff (after finding a thumbtack in my salad at a casual dining restaurant some years back – I was definitely not eatin’ good in the neighborhood that night), I am intrigued by THIS AD for Cadbury Pascall Fruit Chews in New Zealand.

Basically, it’s a billboard featuring a slowly inflating strawberry (or is that a raspberry?) and a giant tack. Web surfers are invited to guess the exact time that the fruit will expand enough to allow the tack to puncture it and burst (fruit – burst … get it?) and can track the progress via a live web feed.  Unfortunately for us in this hemisphere, it’s only open to New Zealand residents and so those of us non-Kiwi islanders aren’t eligible for the $5000 prize.

As a consolation, we can at least hope that when the oversized fruit explodes it showers passersby with some kind of molten liquid core scarring them both psychologically and physically.  Okay, maybe we don’t hope that but we kinda think it would be cool.

Radio Nowhere

October 27, 2008

And while we’re at it, can we put a ban on the phrase “long time listener – first time caller?”  We get it.  You like the radio show.  Why not prove it by calling in and contributing with a pertinent, insightful question or salient point of observation?  No need to waste precious airtime sounding like a complete tool with a suckup phrase that’s so clichè Marconi probably rolls over in his grave every time it’s uttered.

Vote Early And Often! (updated)

October 26, 2008

[I’ve moved this entry to the front page again because it’s so important to me. Please read and vote for SAFE Haven For Cats. Thanks.]

Yes, VOTE!!!  Not for any elected official this time, but for a wonderful shelter. 

Seriously, help me out here.  The Animal Rescue Site (a marvelous web page for helping feed animals in need) is offering a $100,000 shelter challenge, which could mean a $25,000 grant for some lucky animal shelter out there. 

As you may know, I volunteer at SAFE Haven For Cats, a fantastic no-kill shelter for cats and kittens in Raleigh, NC.  For those folks who want to make a difference, this shelter is the real deal.  Caring people who are determined to finds homes for homeless felines plus lifelong support and education for adopters and a low-cost spay/neuter clinic that’s making real humane progress to help end pet overpopulation.

Personally, I’d love to see SAFE Haven get this $25,000 grant and that’s why I’m asking for your help.  All you have to do is go to The Animal Rescue Site at www.theanimalrescuesite.com (worth doing even if you don’t vote for my shelter) and follow these instructions:

1. Click on the purple box to give free food

2. Click the “Vote Now” button (upper right area of screen)

3. Scroll down to the purple box, type in SAFE Haven for Cats, select NC and click search

4. Click “vote” next to the shelter name

5. Type in the type of animal you see (in all lower case letters) and click the “confirm vote” button

It’s really easy; you don’t have to register or sign in.  You can even vote every day (the contest ends December 14) and encourage your friends and family and coworkers to do the same!

So please, help out a deserving shelter and vote in the ANIMAL RESCUE SITE $100,000 SHELTER+ CHALLENGE (brought to you by Petfinder).  The cats would really appreciate it.  (They would also appreciate some Pounce treats and a scratch under the chin – but you can’t do that online.)

FULL OF SHATNER

October 25, 2008

I’m all for free speech and think people should be allowed to express their own opinions and all, but isn’t it time we told William Shatner to just shut the hell up? 

He had one halfway decent role back in the 60s (and I’m talking about that guy who saw a man on the wing in that Twilight Zone, so suck it, Trekkies!) and he’s milked his pseudo-celebrity for four freakin’ decades now.

But he won an Emmy,” I hear you say – to which I respond, “He won an Emmy for playing a past-his-prime, egotistical eccentric … in other words he won an Emmy for playing himself! And while that’s not exactly ironic (unless you’re using it in the Alanis Morrisette sense), it is laughable.” He’s a joke, pure and simple … a punchline to an Andy Warhol world of fame.  And unlike Adam West, who gets the joke, Shatner doesn’t get it.  He pretends he does, but at the end of the day he thinks the joke is that there is a joke, showing to all and sundry how much he just doesn’t get the joke 

Bottom line: I don’t care he’s miffed he’s not in the new Star Trek film. I don’t give a damn he thinks he wasn’t invited to Takei’s wedding.  He’s abusing even the tenuous hold he has over the 24/7 world of paparazzo, TMZ and Access Hollywoods with these perceived slights.

Personally, I’d be okay with just ignoring him, but how can I when he pops up anywhere and everywhere. YouTube, CNN, Oprah, O’Reilly, TV Land Awards, Wrestlemania, even commercials. So telling him to just shut his piehole might be the best thing for all of us.

He may not listen but I think we’ll all get a certain sense of satisfaction for the effort.

Heads Up

October 24, 2008

Wow.  Someone ranked the TEN GREATEST FLOATING HEADS OF ALL TIME.  Majorly impressed, primarily because someone bothered to rank the Ten Greatest Floating Heads of All Time.  I mean, that’s more than I did today.  And how about you?  Sitting there … judging me … I can’t take it! Just look at the floating heads for crying out loud!

Next Year … Will Be Awesome

October 23, 2008

Because LOST is returning.  So if this year’s new fall TV season is disappointing (a bit, yes), get ready for the return of the best show of television.

See the promo for the new season of LOST HERE.

I’m So Hungry I Could Eat At Arby’s

October 21, 2008

I can’t decide.  Is this the greatest idea ever … or an artery-clogging road to hell? 

I’m talking Arby’s MAC & CHEEZERS – deep fried pockets of macaroni and cheese.

It’s either a mouthful of delicious or the reason why they hate us.  Only history (and my annual physical) will tell.