Archive for January, 2009

Doggerel

January 30, 2009

What the hell is it about dog movies?!  Seriously!  They all seem to suck!  Beverly Hills ChihuahuaHotel For Dogs!  Even Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch.  And now this steaming dog pile…

Please, filmmakers!  Man’s best friend deserves better!   Even Old Yeller was put out his misery.

Webitude

January 30, 2009

Let’s wrap up the week/month with some web sites to keep ourselves occupied, shall we?

First, let us sing a few SONGS ABOUT AMERICAN PRESIDENTS.  70 in fact.  Wait, there haven’t been 70 presidents yet.  Sounds like somebody’s been practicing Chicago-style politics. 

As long as we’re talking music, here’s a controversial list: someone’s take on THE 100 GREATEST DEBUT ALBUM OF ALL TIME.  No O Town, strangely enough, but that’s what makes the list workable.

 

Since we lost Patrick McGoohan earlier this month, it’s a good time to look back at his most famous role and see why THE PRISONER ENDURES.  (May I venture: because it’s the most awesomest show EVER?!)

 

Apropos of nothing, GUESS THE LEGO MOVIE STAR.  Go on – guess!

 

And ,wow, can barely believe the insanity here but grab a gander at LOST IN TRANSLATION: 20 BAFFLING FOREIGN MOVIE POSTERS.  I’m suddenly curious how Eastern Europe would tackle Hotel For Dogs.

Digs In A Blanket

January 29, 2009

A bloody marvelous spot-on spoof of that blasted Snuggie crap.  (Warning: some NSFW language for the type of folks who are offended by that kind of stuff and, if so, why the blazes are you here now? Haven’t you learned anything by reading this blog? Sod off already!)

TCMpressive!

January 28, 2009

Every year it happens and every year I forget.  Only this year is different.  Beginning February 1st, Turner Classic Movies kicks off its 31 Days Of Oscar, a month-long celebration of the little golden statuette that so many crave and so few deserve.  Commercial-free, I might add.

For a list of the Oscar-worthy, click HERE.  And set those DVRs!  You know I bloody well will … if I remember.

Songs In The Key Of Laugh

January 27, 2009

So you say you like your music wacky?  Well someone said that.  If it wasn’t me it must have been you.  Own up, mate!  Then you can enjoy the THE 10 BEST OLD SCHOOL SONGS FROM DR. DEMENTO.  From Weird Al to Spike Jones, this is a good sampler of novelty material heard on Demento’s radio show.  (Downside is some links don’t seem too safe for work, but the page itself concentrates on the videos of the ten songs.)  Hey, they had me at Fish Heads.

Movie Sighin’

January 26, 2009

You know what the #1 movie in the country was this past weeknd?  Paul Blart: Mall Cop.  You know what was #2?  Underworld: Rise of the Lycans.   Even the anus-sniffing-worthy Hotel For Dogs made an entry into the Top Five.

And, yes, I want to laugh, to make fun of, to chastise Hollywood and the moviegoing public both.  But there’s no point.  Why? Beverly Hills Chihuahua.  Damn straight.  Thing was #1 for two weeks or more last fall.  And I can still smell that steaming pile, lemme tell you. So with that piece of celluloid drivel having hit the heights already, you can bring on all the Mall Cops and Baby Geniuses and Death Races you want, Hollywood. 

Thanks to you, the bar hasn’t been lowered so much as buried underground in a small channel.

I Can’t Stands No More!

January 24, 2009

I was flipping around on my DVR last night, trying to make sure that I set it to record all the cool shows I couldn’t miss, when I happened by Cartoon Network’s spin-off channel, Boomerang.  I like Boomerang because there you can find a lot of the old cartoons that Cartoon Network now eschews for more original fare.  And since I don’t really give a fig about Total Drama Island I may tune into the Banana Splits or Justice League Unlimited for nostalgia sake.  So when I clicked on Boomerang I noticed they were showing Popeye, a cartoon I enjoyed as a kid, especially the old Fleischer ones.  So I looked at the description to see if it was worth taping.  Here’s what my Timer-Warner DVR said about this particular Popeye episode:

The sailor courts Olive Oyl and gains strength through spinach.

Seriously. That is the complete write up for this particular Popeye episode.  Hmmm.  I’m not sure – have I seen that one?  It sounds familiar but I can’t say.  I’d best tape it just to be certain.  Oh come on!  That’s like saying “Hey, have you seen that episode of Gilligan’s Island where they try to get off the island?” or “Did you catch that Three’s Company where they had the wacky misunderstanding?”  Hey, Time-Warner, you just raised my cable bill – again! – is it too much to hope for a little more freakin’ description on your DVR listings?  At least tell me if Popeye fights Brutus or Bluto!

Watch, Man

January 22, 2009

An awesome viral video for the upcoming Watchmen movie.  And for those of you who grew up in a cable TV-24/7 CNN world, yes, the nightly news really used to look like this!

And The Emmy Doesn’t Go To

January 22, 2009

A lot of talented folks go into making your favorite television shows.  And then there’re these guys: FAVORITE TV CHARACTERS THAT NO ONE EVER PLAYED.  (Bonus points for throwaway mention of “The Gootch” in the fan poll!) 

Applausable

January 21, 2009

Oh god, please tell me that this is a joke … some kind of gag off one of those comedy sites that seem to pop up like rabbits under a piece of metal siding (not an actual idiom – just something I saw in a documentary of Australia once).  Because if it’s real then that means somebody is probably buying this crap.  And that just makes me very very sad.  Yep, can’t even make fun of the stupidity here; it just makes me want to pull a Kevorkian on the human race.