FIVE RANDOM FIVE

 

Five Ways To Make Political Debates Better

All responses must be limited to 280 characters

Replace moderator with Lucha libre wrestler

Flub a question, do a shot

Monkeys (everything’s better with monkeys!)

Pre-empt them

 

Five Odd Relationship Dealbreakers

Your feng shui doesn’t match

Constantly fills DVR with repeats of Ghost Hunters

She starts dressing like your mom and calling you by your dad’s name

He sleeps with an autographed picture of Chuck Woolery

His foreplay consists solely of Travis Bickle’s “You talkin’ to me?” monologue

 

Five Reasons I’ve Got A Mancrush on Nathan Fillion

His rugged Canadian-bred good looks

He’s worked with Stephen Spielberg

He voiced Green Lantern in a few DC Comics animated films

He co-founded a charity to get more books into underfunded libraries

He was Mal freakin’ Reynolds on Firefly!!!!

 

Five Signs You’re Obsessed With Fantasy Football

Your wife asks you to take out the trash while you’re watching the game and you contact a divorce attorney

Your dogs are named Draft and King

In the last calendar year, you spent more time coming up with a team name than you did with your kids

You set your line-up instead of delivering your father’s eulogy

You call out Patrick Mahomes’ name during sex

 

Five Rarely Used Twitter Hashtags

#EatingRancidSushi

#SmellsLikeSpleenSpirit

#SwitzerlandUrinalCrawl

#NazisBeBuggin

#TellCharoIFoundHerKeys