Posts Tagged ‘Politics’

An Open Letter To That Woman In Chapel Hill

January 27, 2017

Hey, Luv. I appreciate that you live in Chapel Hill. I know it’s a bastion of unadulterated liberalness. That’s what I love about the town. Hey, I went to school there. I know. I am one of you. 

But, lady, seriously. It’s time to take the Kucinich 2008 bumper sticker off your Subaru. Just need to scrape it right off. Maybe use some WD-40. 

Keeping it on this long doesn’t make you an idealist, it just makes you pathetic.

A Ballot To The Head

October 26, 2016

I was talking with a co-worker about the upcoming election and commented that I couldn’t wait until next week when it would all be over. My co-worker reminded me that the election wasn’t November 1st but November 8th and we still had two weeks to go until the election.

It’s funny. I can’t be sure but, at that moment, I think I could actually hear the sound of my soul being crushed.

Ten Random Things That Have Kept Me Awake At Night

October 15, 2016

Political polls

The Brangelina split

Zombie deer

Why does Marco Polo have a llama?

Samsung Galaxy S7 fires

The baby with the adult tongue (aaaahhhhhh!)

What if the vasectomy didn’t take?

Creepy clowns

Shin splints

Izzie could be returning to Grey’s Anatomy! OMFG! If that happens, I will die. Literally die! I will be as dead as Dr. George O’Malley and if that’s a spoiler then shame on you because you should be watching this awesome show!!!

Right To Bear Awesome

September 16, 2016

I don’t live in Missouri and if I did I can’t necessarily say I’d vote for this guy (this is not an endorsement of any kind) but I love this campaign ad where the candidate displays his skills with firearms and his incredible stones.

Seriously. Can we get more campaign ads like this? Yeah, a little more modest chutzpah and a lot less Lochte-esque over-exaggeration, please.

Fear & Losing On The Campaign Trail

October 27, 2015

In 1972, I was working for the McGovern campaign, making cold calls to folks in the Plains states. It was July 19th and we (the campaign volunteers) began to hear sobs coming from the candidate’s office. The cries escalated into a low moaning sound. Jennifer, the campaign manager, investigated and found McGovern curled up under his desk in the fetal position. He was totally freaking that no one had remembered his birthday. He bawled like a baby for hours. Finally, somebody went down to the Piggly Wiggly and picked up a sheet cake and a pinata and we threw a “surprise” party for the old goat.

Thinking back, I’m glad Nixon kicked his ass. Wouldn’t want that bleedin’ crybaby with his finger on the button.