FIVE RANDOM FIVE (Fourth Of July Edition)

FIVE FOURTH OF JULY SONGS

Mariah Carey – Fourth of July

Katy Perry  – Firework

Chicago – Saturday In The Park

Bruce Springsteen – 4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)

Fallout Boy – Fourth of July

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FIVE TYPES OF FIREWORKS

Roman Candle

Bottle Rocket

Spinning Frenzy

Insolent Whelp

Satan’s Candelabra

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FIVE AMERICAN PIES

Key Lime Pie

Sweet Potato Pie

Pecan Pie

Boston Cream Pie

Effin’ Freedom Pie, Baby!!!

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FIVE UNCLE SAM FEARS

Demagoguery

Nuclear war

Democracy being watered down by career politicians serving their own selfish needs

Heights

People will realize his “I want you” slogan was actually a pick up line

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FIVE THINGS OUR FOUNDING FATHERS SAID

“Give me liberty or give me death.” – Patrick Henry

“Have another beer.” – Samuel Adams

 “We must be unanimous; there must be no pulling different ways; we hang together.” – Thomas Jefferson

“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” – Ben Franklin

“The guy who played Pig Vomit in that Howard Stern movie is playing me?!” – John Adams

Bruce Springsteen Stole My Wife

At first, I didn’t think much of it. A poster of Bruce on our bedroom wall, a few strains of Dancing In The Dark belted out during long, hot, steamy showers. It all seemed innocent enough. I mean, I have my Wang Chung obsession; why should I think twice about anyone liking a rock legend? But then came the albums and CDs and songbooks and DVD of videos. And why has the 2009 Super Bowl been listed as DO NOT DELETE on the DVR for over ten years? Then, casually, without suspicion: “I have a business trip next February in Florida.” Hmmm. According to VH1, that’s where Bruce is kicking off his 2023 concert tour with dates in Tampa, Orlando and Hollywood. Coincidence; it has to be. Then the subsequent trips scribbled in her date book… a family reunion in Dallas … a cousin’s wedding in Kansas City… a girls trip to Portland… all following the E Street Band tour schedule. The final straw? Well, as if that Patti Scialfa dartboard wasn’t enough, I casually mentioned starting my own business, saying I’d like to be my own boss, when she flipped out, held a butcher knife to my block and tackle and screamed, “There’s only ONE Boss! And you’ll NEVER be HIM!” Oh sure, the divorce lawyer says it’s all circumstantial but I know the truth and it’s killing me. I mean, how the hell am I supposed cope with this? It’s like – it’s like someone took a knife, baby, edgy and dull and cut a six-inch valley through the middle of my soul … what the bloody hell?! Damn you, Springsteen! You are the source of all my woes but only you can truly give voice to my pain. 

“Bruce Springsteen, You Stole My Wife!”

He’s The Boss

Is it patriotic? Maybe. Is it necessary?  Perhaps not … but if you ask yourself Is it freakin’ awesome? then you got a whole new ballgame going.

Bruce Springsteen sings 4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy). Enjoy.