FIVE RANDOM FIVE

Five Band Names That Could Be Diseases

Badfinger

Blackfoot

Wet Willie

Prefab Sprout 

Wang Chung

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Five Historical Superfreaks

Catherine the Great

Dolley Madison

Anna Freud

Sacagawea

Nefertiti

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Five Relationship Dealbreakers

He owns a ferret

She plays the kazoo constantly

He keeps erotic picture of his mom in his wallet

She dresses like Vicki, the robot girl from “Small Wonder”

He/she keeps his/her ex chained up in the basement 

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Five Lies On My Resumé 

Debate Club President, High School

Intern, Universal Studios, Florida

Original Ramses the Ram, UNC Mascot

Stand-In for John C. Reilly, Stepbrothers

Inventor of Pop Rocks

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Five “Scooby Doo” Secret Character Fears

Fear that the Mystery Machine will get carjacked (Velma)

Fear that Velma will hit on her (Daphne)

Fear that Shaggy will run out of snacks & eat them (Scooby & Scrappy)

Fear that he will be portrayed by Freddie Prinze, Jr. (Fred)

Fear that no one else can hear Scooby talk but him (Shaggy)

Bruce Springsteen Stole My Wife

At first, I didn’t think much of it. A poster of Bruce on our bedroom wall, a few strains of Dancing In The Dark belted out during long, hot, steamy showers. It all seemed innocent enough. I mean, I have my Wang Chung obsession; why should I think twice about anyone liking a rock legend? But then came the albums and CDs and songbooks and DVD of videos. And why has the 2009 Super Bowl been listed as DO NOT DELETE on the DVR for over ten years? Then, casually, without suspicion: “I have a business trip next February in Florida.” Hmmm. According to VH1, that’s where Bruce is kicking off his 2023 concert tour with dates in Tampa, Orlando and Hollywood. Coincidence; it has to be. Then the subsequent trips scribbled in her date book… a family reunion in Dallas … a cousin’s wedding in Kansas City… a girls trip to Portland… all following the E Street Band tour schedule. The final straw? Well, as if that Patti Scialfa dartboard wasn’t enough, I casually mentioned starting my own business, saying I’d like to be my own boss, when she flipped out, held a butcher knife to my block and tackle and screamed, “There’s only ONE Boss! And you’ll NEVER be HIM!” Oh sure, the divorce lawyer says it’s all circumstantial but I know the truth and it’s killing me. I mean, how the hell am I supposed cope with this? It’s like – it’s like someone took a knife, baby, edgy and dull and cut a six-inch valley through the middle of my soul … what the bloody hell?! Damn you, Springsteen! You are the source of all my woes but only you can truly give voice to my pain. 

“Bruce Springsteen, You Stole My Wife!”

FIVE RANDOM FIVE

Five Band Names That Could Be Diseases

Badfinger

Blackfoot

Nickelback

Hoobastank

Wang Chung

Five Historical Superfreaks

Catherine the Great

Dolley Madison

Anna Freud

Amelia Earhart

Nefertiti

Five Relationship Dealbreakers

He owns a ferret

She plays the kazoo constantly

He keeps erotic picture of his mom in his wallet

She dresses like Vicki, the robot girl from “Small Wonder”

They keep their ex chained up in the basement 

Five Lies On My Resumé 

Debate Club President, High School

Intern, Universal Studios, Florida

Original Ramses the Ram, UNC Mascot

Stand-In for John C. Reilly, Stepbrothers

Inventor of Pop Rocks

Five “Scooby Doo” Secret Character Fears

Fear that the Mystery Machine will get carjacked (Velma)

Fear that Velma will hit on her (Daphne)

Fear that Shaggy will run out of snacks & eat them (Scooby & Scrappy)

Fear that he will be portrayed by Freddie Prinze, Jr. (Fred)

Fear that no one else can hear Scooby talk but him (Shaggy)

FIVE RANDOM FIVE

 

Five Band Names That Could Be Diseases

Badfinger

Blackfoot

Wet Willie

Prefab Sprout 

Wang Chung

 

Five Historical Superfreaks

Catherine the Great

Dolley Madison

Anna Freud

Sacagawea

Nefertiti

 

Five Relationship Dealbreakers

He owns a ferret

She plays the kazoo constantly

He keeps erotic picture of his mom in his wallet

She dresses like Vicki, the robot girl from “Small Wonder”

He/she keeps his/her ex chained up in the basement 

 

Five Lies On My Resumé 

Debate Club President, High School

Intern, Universal Studios, Florida

Original Ramses the Ram, UNC Mascot

Stand-In for John C. Reilly, Stepbrothers

Inventor of Pop Rocks

 

Five “Scooby Doo” Secret Character Fears

Fear that the Mystery Machine will get carjacked (Velma)

Fear that Velma will hit on her (Daphne)

Fear that Shaggy will run out of snacks & eat them (Scooby & Scrappy)

Fear that he will be portrayed by Freddie Prinze, Jr. (Fred)

Fear that no one else can hear Scooby talk but him (Shaggy)