FIVE FOURTH OF JULY SONGS
Mariah Carey – Fourth of July
Katy Perry – Firework
Chicago – Saturday In The Park
Bruce Springsteen – 4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)
Fallout Boy – Fourth of July
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FIVE TYPES OF FIREWORKS
Roman Candle
Bottle Rocket
Spinning Frenzy
Insolent Whelp
Satan’s Candelabra
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FIVE AMERICAN PIES
Key Lime Pie
Sweet Potato Pie
Pecan Pie
Boston Cream Pie
Effin’ Freedom Pie, Baby!!!
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FIVE UNCLE SAM FEARS
Demagoguery
Nuclear war
Democracy being watered down by career politicians serving their own selfish needs
Heights
People will realize his “I want you” slogan was actually a pick up line
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FIVE THINGS OUR FOUNDING FATHERS SAID
“Give me liberty or give me death.” – Patrick Henry
“Have another beer.” – Samuel Adams
“We must be unanimous; there must be no pulling different ways; we hang together.” – Thomas Jefferson
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” – Ben Franklin
“The guy who played Pig Vomit in that Howard Stern movie is playing me?!” – John Adams