Posts Tagged ‘Workplace Shenanigans’

The Name Game

July 15, 2018

What is the most annoying thing on earth? My vote is for when you pose the innocent question, “What’s your name?” and someone snaps back, “Puddentame. Ask me again I’ll tell you the same.” Dead annoying when it happens on the playground at recess in second grade. A real good reason for an arse kicking when the new temp tries it at a departmental meeting in front of your boss.

Seriously, that slack-jawed son of a bitch better watch his back or I will make his life a living misery.

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A Piece of the Action

December 9, 2017

At the office, whenever there’s a birthday card to be signed for a co-worker, I always write the same thing: I know it’s you who’s been stealing stuff from the supply cabinet but I won’t tell anyone if you give me the biggest slice of cake. Surprisingly, I’m right most of the time. And I really get some amazing slices of cake out of it.

cake

Iced Justice

June 3, 2017

Sometimes I like to cover a brick with cake frosting and leave it in a Tupperware container in the communal fridge at work. I always put a big note on it saying it belongs to a fake name, like Brad Millinbobble or something, nobody who really works there. Still, I know human nature being what it is people will try to cut a slice for themselves. Heh heh heh. 

I usually spot about three or four bent knives in the trash by the end of the day.

Company Lyin’

February 6, 2015

The gang at work took me out to a real nice restaurant to celebrate my many years with the company. Only, they made me pay. And, come to think of it, they didn’t tag along. And they told me to stay there for a long while – long enough, it turns out, to train my replacement and change the name plate on my office door.

Hmmmm.

I’m not sure if I should send them a thank you card or not.

Icing On The …

December 8, 2014

I was supposed to pick up a sheetcake for a co-worker’s birthday once but I waited ’til the last minute and had to decorate it myself. Since I didn’t have any icing or candy decorations, I spelled out “Happy Birthday, Chuck” in silly string. It looked like icing and I didn’t say anything when people ate it.

To my knowledge, no one became violently ill.