Posts Tagged ‘Song Lyrics’


October 21, 2017

Hush, little baby, don’t say a word. Mama’s going to buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird won’t sing, Mama’s going to buy you a diamond ring. And if that diamond ring turns brass, Mama’s going to buy you a looking glass. And if that looking glass gets broke, Mama’s going to buy you a billy goat.

Whoa. Now look here a minute. The bird was kind of cool, I’ll admit, but a diamond ring?! That’s a hell of an upgrade. And then, who the blazes thinks a mirror – or a freakin’ farm animal – is an acceptable substitute for a major jewelry purchase? Screw it. Just get me a gift certificate or a gift card or something. I really don’t trust your sense of gift equality here.


What Can Brown Do For You?

December 12, 2016

When I was younger, I had a lyrical misconception. You know that song, Winter Wonderland? (Of course you do; what are you – from Jupiter?) Well, there’s a line that goes “In the meadow we can build a snowman, then pretend that he is Parson Brown. He’ll say, ‘Are you married?’, We’ll say, ‘No, man, but you can do the job when you’re in town.’” Obviously, Parson Brown is an authority figure of some sort, most likely a religious personage with the power to bind people together in matrimony. Well, I, naive huckleberry that I am, was under the mistaken impression that “Parson Brown” wasn’t a person but a color, not unlike Lemon Yellow, Midnight Blue, Carnation Pink, or Forest Green, although, admittedly, I could not recall the shade from a Crayola box. This misunderstanding brought about one weighty question: Why would anyone want a brown snowman? I mean, isn’t this perilously close to that old axiom don’t eat the yellow snow? And why would anyone want a brown snowman to marry them? And, if he’s there, right there, I mean, talking to them, why do they have to wait for him to be “in town” to do the job? Does he book in advance? How heavy a schedule can a Parson Brown snowman have?

Granted, these questions all faded away into mootabilty when the actual lyrics were revealed to me. And these days – hey, I’ve got better things to do with my time. (Not really, but I think I should pretend I have.)

Bawling 4 Columbidae

September 18, 2014

This is what it sounds like when doves cry? I realize I’m about 25 years too late in my disbelief but what does Prince know about weeping pigeons? Doesn’t seem like much of an ornithologist to me. And what exactly sounds like doves crying? The guy who’s just like his father (2 bold) screaming at the woman who’s perhaps just like his mother (never satisfied)? It now seems as though the Purple One is just throwing random lyrics together – with, of course, the occasional integer to keep his eccentricity alive.

Seriously, I’m gonna have to reassess that chick in the raspberry beret now. Maybe she didn’t really come in through the out door, out door.