Posts Tagged ‘Restaurant’

You Can Stop It Any Time Now

December 1, 2017

Yelling at me when I walk into a Moe’s Southwest Grill, I mean.

Oh sure, I know it’s supposed to be a charming greeting that sets your restaurant franchise apart from the other chains – and maybe there was a slight novel attraction at first – but we all know now that the staff hates it, the customers hate it and it’s little more than a jarring holdover of a more unaffected, spontaneous time. It’s not as though everyone participates: you get one, maybe two, employees who let out a half-hearted “welcome to moe’s” in hopes that enough voices will join in to drown out the obvious contempt and distaste in their own. But it never happens. It’s the fast food equivalent of when you were a kid and your mom would make you thank other adults for giving you something or having you in their home. Mom: “What do you say to Mrs. Tietelbaum?” You (muttering under your breath as you shuffle your feet in awkward defiance): “Thank you, Mrs. Tietelbaum.” You didn’t mean it and everyone knew it – just a perfunctory mandate from the powers-that-be to feign a meager ounce of sincerity.

Well, Moe’s, you can stop it any time now. You’re welcome.


Company Lyin’

February 6, 2015

The gang at work took me out to a real nice restaurant to celebrate my many years with the company. Only, they made me pay. And, come to think of it, they didn’t tag along. And they told me to stay there for a long while – long enough, it turns out, to train my replacement and change the name plate on my office door.


I’m not sure if I should send them a thank you card or not.