Posts Tagged ‘Pickles’

FIVE RANDOM FIVE

July 18, 2020

Five Broadway Soups

Gazpacho and Dolls

The 25th Annual Putnam County Split Pea

Annie Get Your Gumbo

Bisque Me, Kate

Jesus Christ Vichyssoise

Five Things That Kind of Sound Like “Hamilton”

Simpleton

Hammertoe

Dalmatian

Hammer Film

Harry Hamlin

Five Sports Mascots That Frighten Me

OSU’s Brutus the Buckeye

University of California Santa Cruz Banana Slugs

Wichita State’s WuShock

Izzy, 1996 Olympics

UNC School of the Arts Fighting Pickle

Five Killer Queens

Elizabeth I carrying a howitzer

Queen Noor with arsenic-laced wine

A queen-size mattress implanted with spring-loaded spikes

Queen Latifah trained in krav maga

Queen’s We Will Rock You played at ultrasonic levels, turning brain to mush

Five Little-Used Personal Ad Abbreviations

BT – Buttery thighs

CNRF – Charles Nelson Reilly Fetish

LINO – Lesbian in Name Only

A2H57 – Addicted to Heinz 57

FP – Former Pope (Benedict XVI only)

FIVE RANDOM FIVE

April 22, 2017

Five Snap, Crackle & Pop Associates

Pow

Wham

Plop

Pffft!

Kazoowie

 

Five Sins of Omission

Not telling the kid he’s adopted

Keeping your opinion to yourself

Letting her think you went to Jared when you didn’t

Not admitting you can’t drive a stick

Letting others blame it on the dog

 

Five Things That Kind of Sound Like Pickles

Pimples

Kellie Pickler

Pixels

Pimp Canes

Pippa

 

Five Questions You Don’t Want To Hear In An Elevator

I wonder what would happen if the cable suddenly snapped?

Will you hold me like there’s no tomorrow?

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?

Phew! What did you have for dinner last night?

Would you like a free hernia check?

 

Five Earth Day Faux Pas

Pamphlet bombing a mall parking lot to promote your event

Showing An Inconvenient Truth at an RNC gathering

Dancing on the grave of Rachel Carson

Having Nickelback perform

Burning “Save the Earth” into an old growth forest so it can be seen from space