Posts Tagged ‘PAAS’

Gentile On My Mind

April 18, 2017

Well, a great holiday has come and gone here in my household! Seriously great. And I’m not just saying that because I get to drink Schnapps again after giving it up for Lent. Nope, here at the MacMillan abode, it’s a non-stop party; especially since due to the nature of our respective upbringings we celebrate a blended holiday we like to call Paas-over (and lemme tell you – in case you’ve never tried – it’s not easy to dye a matzah).

But things are settling down now. The kids, Jake and Maxine, have pretty much finished their charoset bunnies and kosher peeps and Moira has begun work on her special parsley-salt water egg salad, which will be the centerpiece of most lunches for the next few weeks.

And me? My final job before I hit the hay is to see if I can remember where I hid all the gefilte fish we couldn’t find during the hunt yesterday. Give it a few days and the smell should lead me right to it, I guess.

Mazel tov!

FIVE RANDOM FIVE (Easter Edition)

April 20, 2014

Five Easter Candy-Related Injuries

Chocolate bunny overdose

Jelly bean lodged in nasal cavity

Peep rash

Slip on Cadbury crème egg & hit head on edge of coffee table

CarPAAS® tunnel syndrome

 

Five Easter Bunny Variations

Sir Hops-A-Lot (U.K.)

Der Furrengrössen (Germany)

Tamago Usagi-chan – Little Egg Bunny (Japan)

Dwi’ngygarupasghapuscwningen (Welsh)

兔子窃贼 – The Rabbit that Steals from the People (China)

 

Five Really Good Easter Egg Hiding Places

Taped to someone’s back, like Bruce Willis’ gun in Die Hard

Inside a chocolate bunny

The Gobi desert

Inside a toilet tank (like an upper decker)

At a matinee showing of Draft Day

 

Five Bad Easter Experiences

Never found that last egg (age 5)

Broke up with girlfriend; ate heads off of chocolate bunnies until I lapsed into sugar coma (11th grade)

Accidentally bought sugar-free PEEPs (2003)

Saw Dragonball Evolution at cinema (2009)

Inhaled recalled egg dye; stripped down to skivvies and ran through dorm hallway screaming, “Jesus zombies! Eeeeyyyarrgh!!!” (Freshman year)

 

Five Easter Bunny Fears

Fear of being discovered

Fear of exploding eggs

Fear that kids would rather have hasenpfeffer than candy

Fear Velveteen Rabbit will ignore restraining order

Fear someone will catch him Red Boxing Hop with Russell Brand