Posts Tagged ‘Nursery Rhyme’

Simonize

May 9, 2017

Simple Simon met a pieman

Going to the fair;

Says Simple Simon to the pieman,

“Let me taste your ware.”

Says the pieman to Simple Simon,

“Show me first your penny.”

Says Simple Simon to the pieman,

“Indeed I have not any.”

Is it just me or does this sound like an incident that would end up on an episode of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit?

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People I Hate #704 (In A Series)

May 10, 2014

Who: Mother Hubbard

Why: She starved her dog, plain and simple. Oh sure, she goes to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone but when the nursery rhyme is ended the dog has none because the cupboard is bare. So either she goes through the motions, knowing full well the cupboard is empty, or she’s a forgetful cow who’s honestly yet ridiculously shocked to find that no one magically stocked her larder. Either way, the dog was about to get a bone and not a can of Alpo or some Puppy Chow.

How I justify it: She’s neglecting her pet. People who abuse, neglect or otherwise let pets come to harm through inaction deserve our collective hatred and scorn. The only upside is that when the senile biddy starves her pooch beyond the canine’s ability to cope he’s gonna chow down on her frail old bones like Chris Christie at a Golden Corral buffet.