Posts Tagged ‘North Carolina’

In The Bag

August 21, 2017

I was telling some pals about this old commercial I remembered for the Food Lion chain of grocery stores featuring Michael Jordan. It aired back in the 1980s so I was willing to admit that I had recalled it incorrectly. However I found it online and, nope, I was right: Michael Jordan shoplifted.

Look carefully. He tosses the produce while still shopping but it doesn’t land in his bag until after he pays! Whoosh! “That’s a three-pointer!” Nope, that’s a misdemeanor! And I’m aware this was relatively early in his NBA career but you know he could still have afforded it. Oh sure, I hear you saying that he probably told the cashier to ring him up for the head of lettuce that was attempting re-entry because he’s just an upstanding guy and all but I think the far likelier scenario is: Whoosh! “Hey, uh, Michael, you wanna pay for that produce?” “I’m Michael Jordan! I know Dean Smith! Get the hell outta my face!” Yeah, that’s right! Own the crime, MJ! We got it on film! It’s a crime only slightly less bold than your baseball career and – uh – damn, I can’t do this anymore.

I know he didn’t shoplift. I know he’s a great guy. It’s just that I went to UNC-Chapel Hill and I’m not saying that I was that anxious freshman standing outside Carmichael gym, holding out a notebook and hoping for an autograph as you breezed by after basketball practice with your teammates, probably on your way to Mr. Gatti’s or Four Corners or some place ultra-cool – I’m just saying that sometimes our idols hurt us and all the crying and tear-stained pillows won’t make up for the fact that I had your poster, Michael! That one where you had your hands all stretched out and it took up and entire wall of my dorm room! I loved you, man! Maybe it was a guy crush, maybe it was something a little more that scared me back then and I’m still a little reluctant to talk about now, but I loved you! You couldn’t return one phone call or letter or sign one Carolina jersey?

Dammit. Now I’m all worked up about it. Still. Not too late to make amends.

Call me, Michael. We can still be BFF! It’s not too late!

 

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April 12 Trivia Rankings

April 12, 2017

What a lovely night! The weather cooperated very nicely and let’s hope it continues to oblige. So come back next week, Quizlings, and let’s enjoy the beautiful spring weather.

Meanwhile, what did learn tonight? We learned not every NC county with the name of a president was named after a president … there was life before Game Of Thrones (although few remember it) … and one of the Wright Brothers flew 852 feet on that first (fourth) flight.

Oh and there was this lively character (all you 90s kids can bring him up at your next therapy session)…

Here are this week’s team rankings. How’d you do?

How Many Lowes Would Rob Lowe Rob If Rob Lowe Could Rob Lowes? 66
United Airlines Is A Bloody Drag 65
How Was Your Vacation With Cher? 62
United Airlines – Beat Your Customers, Not The Competition 59
Council Of Ricks 58
Divided Airlines 58
United Airlines – We Put ‘Hospital’ In Hospitality 58
Men’s Wear By Lootcrate 56
Mar-A-Lago Resort And Holocaust Center 55
Enjoy Your “Vacation”, Bill 54
Fly The Friendly Skies 53
House Bill 2: Less Teams In The ACC 53
Game … Blouses 52
Queen Of Hearts 48
Ice Cream or Bust 45