Posts Tagged ‘Monsters’

FIVE RANDOM FIVE

December 4, 2017

Five Failed General Mills Monster Cereals

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Honey

Invisible Man Berries

Zombie Toast Crunch

Godzillalicious

Creature from the Bran Lagoon

 

Five Zebra Fears

LionsHyenas

Stripes make them look fat

Global warming

There’ll be a Racing Stripes II

 

Five Autocorrects for Dirty Words

Batch

Peninsula

Tattle

Vagus nerve

Madden Football

 

Five Regrettable Purchases

The Boogie Bass

Stale Girl Scout Cookies

Bell bottoms

Rental insurance

Ticket for The Emoji Movie

 

Five More Ways To Leave Your Lover

Just stop tryin’, Ryan.

Hit yourself repeatedly with a rake, Blake.

Hide in a closet and be really quiet, Wyatt.

Take off on a stolen Schwinn, Flynn.

Cook her up in a pot and eat her, Peter.

 

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A Little Night Hooey

April 29, 2017

When my kids were small they’d sometimes call out for a glass of water in the middle of the night. When they did, I’d always yell back, “I don’t wanna come in there – the monsters under your bed will eat me!” That sure kept ’em quiet.