Posts Tagged ‘Kryptonite’

FIVE RANDOM FIVE (Superman Edition)

June 22, 2019

 

Five Least Marketable Superman Family Characters

Superman’s Landlord, Larry Lewis

Ploppo the Super-Grouper

Clark Kent’s Optometrist

Craig Luthor, Lex’s younger, less successful brother

Yok-El, Superman’s Redneck Kryptonian Cousin

 

Five Unknown Superman Weaknesses

Can’t do Sudoku

Heat vision doesn’t work on gazpacho

Vulnerability to yodeling

Commitment

A hot dog makes him lose control

 

Five Jimmy Olsen Complaints

Superman doesn’t trust him with his secret identity

Daily Planet 401K sucks

Clark Kent won’t join him on LinkedIn

Krypto always greets him by sniffing his crotch

At office parties, Perry White gets a little “handsy”

 

Five Rarely-Used Superman Nicknames

The Man of Molybdenum

S-Head

The Flying Buttress

The Metropolis Meatball

The Illegal Alien from Krypton

 

Five Valuable Superman Comic Books

Action Comics #1 – first appearance

Superman #61 – first kryptonite

Superboy #14 – Clark Kent uses x-ray vision to spy on Lana Lang in shower

Action Comics #663 – Lex Luthor tries Propecia

World’s Finest #52 – Superman & Batman in drunken threesome with Hawkgirl

 

Check Out My Giant-Size Man-Thing!

March 7, 2016

Seriously. This is a real comic book. Marvel published it in the 1970s.

Honestly. If you thought titles like Brother Power, The Geek and Not Brand Echh were bizarre, try walking around a comic convention and asking folks if you can see their “Giant-Size Man-Thing.” 

Heck, I’d wager someone may be putting me on some special watch list even as I type the very words. But that doesn’t matter. I collect comic books. I can name all the forms of Kryptonite and recite the Green Lantern oath by heart (both Golden Age and Silver Age). You want to test the mettle of a real fanboy? It’s someone who can say “Giant-Size Man-Thing” without irony or derision.

So, hey. My Giant-Size Man-Thing. Check it out. I’m quite proud of it. I’ll show it off to strangers, if they ask. It’s in fine condition. And when I’m not displaying it proudly, I keep it in a Mylar sleeve.