Posts Tagged ‘Kardashians’

FIVE RANDOM FIVE

January 24, 2017

Five Days The Music Died

Buddy Holly’s plane crash (1959)

John Lennon’s assassination (1980)

KISS goes make-up free (1983)

The “Soy Bomb” incident (1998)

The release of Kevin Federline’s album (2008)

 

Five Nursery Rhyme Characters That Are Dicks

Old King Cole

Wee Willie Winkie

Georgie Porgie

Little Jack Horner

Cock Robin

 

Five Reasons To Watch “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”

Lost a bet

Easily swayed by pop culture icons

Remote went missing – can’t change channel

Your family looks like saints compared to these vain, talentless famewhores

Haven’t been the same since that mule kicked you in the head

 

Five Puzzling & Regrettable Cracker Jack Prizes

An opened ketchup packet

Gangrene

Sawdust

A crude drawing of Seth Meyers

A smaller, tinier box of Cracker Jacks

 

Five Signs You’ll Never Be Nominated For An Academy Award

Your movie was shot on your phone in your parent’s basement

Your “animated short” is nothing but a VHS of an old Popeye cartoon

The screenplay was adapted from a Denny’s menu

Sound track consists solely of fart noises

Your name is Vin Diesel

 

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