Posts Tagged ‘Harris Teeter’

Roamin’ Numerals

November 22, 2016

Sometimes, I like to go to the all-night Harris Teeter and pick up some of those candy numbers for kids’ birthday cakes.  I then go home and make out mathematical problems with them, like 45 x 3 = ?, usually breaking up the ones to form the times and equals signs.  If I can solve a problem within a preset time limit, say, ten seconds, I get to eat the entire problem, all the numbers and everything.

I stop when my teeth begin to hurt, I get a sour belly or I pass out from the sugar rush.


Go To Bed, Old Man!

November 15, 2016

I officially became a curmudgeon today. Yep. I heard some pants-on-the-ground teenager use “sick” as a compliment and I instinctively shouted at him to “Get the hell off my lawn!” Unfortunately, I lost a few cool points for being in the soda aisle of the Harris Teeter when it all occurred but what can ya do?

They Say It’s Your Birthday

July 15, 2016

How pathetic is it to have the Harris Teeter bakery do up a birthday cake for yourself and then have it delivered “anonymously” to you at your office while you’re at lunch? I mean, you know full well that your co-workers will see it and throw an impromptu party for you when you get back. And you can, of course, feign ignorance. “How did you ever find out? I didn’t want a fuss!” The best thing is, since it’s all last minute, they won’t even have time to get you a card so they’ll have a quick whip ‘round and put some cash in an envelope. Sweet! But, um, like I said – just how pathetic is that?

Well. How pathetic is it when you do this but it’s not really your birthday – you just need some spare cash?  Um … I’m asking hypothetically, of course.

Basket Case

May 24, 2015

I was at Harris Teeter the other evening, doing a bit of late night shopping, and I noticed a line of those electronic buggies by the entrance – you know the ones that you can ride around on when the staff’s not looking.  Well, there’s this great big sign on the front on the basket that reads: No children in basket. So I looked and I looked and, yep, sure enough – there were no children in the basket. Why the heck they needed to put a sign on it stating the bleedin’ obvious I’ll never know!

VIC-tim of Loathe

June 16, 2014

To the guy at Harris Teeter who wanted to borrow my VIC card: Get your own, you bastard! What? You think they’re hard to come by or something? They give the things away like an Eastern Bloc hooker gives away crabs! If you forgot yours, well, sod off again; I’m not your own personal wallet. Maybe next time you’ll remember. Ooooh, sorry I couldn’t go out of my way to help save you that ten cents on your President’s Choice soda. And it’s not like the damn cards aren’t anything more than a devious way to track every granola bar and rice cake you purchase. Rest assured, it’s bad enough that I have data entry clerks at the Hairy Teeter home office knowing I’m addicted to tater tots; I sure as hell don’t want your Nilla Wafers and Franzia linked to my rep.