Posts Tagged ‘Gumby’

Gumby Or Not Gumby

November 28, 2015

I was watching TV earlier and Gumby came on. You know: Gumby of Gumby and Pokey. The Art Clokey guys. Anyway, the episode was entitled “Trapped On The Moon” and it started out with Gumby’s dad looking through a telescope. The first words out his mouth were “Yep. He’s on the moon. I’ll have to go get him.” 

Damn. That’s some big brass ones off Clokey. I mean, forget backstory, forget exposition, forget all your story elements that are crafted by literary masters to forge a creative piece of fiction. No! Clokey kicks off the action from word go with “He’s on the moon and I have to go get him.” We don’t need to know that Gumby is an impish lad who’s prone to far-flung, high-flying adventures. We don’t need to know that he’s probably used his clayboy body to fashion a rocket and escape Earth’s gravity for outer space action. No! All we need to know is that Papa Gumby has accessed the situation in as matter-of-fact a manner as he can muster and is ready to get the job done in full kick-butt fashion!!!  Boom! 

“He’s on the moon!  I’m gonna go get ‘im!” Wham! Bring it on, Gumby!!!! Man. 

Gotta love that little clay son of a bitch.

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Gumby, Dammit

February 26, 2015

I was watching Gumby on the Cartoon Network a while back and I saw something that, to be honest, shocked me.

Gumby’s sister needed to take a bath. So she went and got in the tub as she was. See, she didn’t take off her clothes because she wasn’t wearing any. She just hopped right on in.

Which means: she never wears clothes. None of them do. All of the Gumby family walk around totally starkers! Naked! Nude! Just as their God molded them, their clay bodies exposed for all the world to see.

Not that Gumby, Pokey or any of their pals are, shall we say, anatomically-correct, shamelessly displaying clay privates with the audacity of a drunken coed on one of those spring break videos. No, these earthen amigos are as smooth and nondescript as a Ken doll, even less so.

But there’s a principle here. Why call attention to the Gumby clan’s nakedness by depicting the sister in a bathtub, even if it was an integral part of the story? Pure prurient interest, if you ask me! Pure lewdness! Pure insatiable lust!

Damn, that Art Clokey was one sick, horny SOB.

gumby

lettin’ it all hang out