Posts Tagged ‘Girl Scout Cookies’

Misfortune Cookies

February 28, 2017

A word of warning. Never haggle with a girl scout over the cost of Savannah Smiles. They budge on price as much as Carmax does. Plus they get stroppy when you try to pull the Jedi mind trick on ‘em. “I think these cookies are $2 per box and not $4.” Nope, doesn’t work. And they are much shorter than you are, so when they kick – ouch.

Not saying I got into a scuffle with a gaggle of Brownies outside Old Navy. I’m just saying it wasn’t the best day ever.

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FIVE RANDOM FIVE

February 29, 2016

Five Overrated Things

The Voice

Girl Scout Cookies

IMAX

Adele

Emojis

 

Five Breakfast Cereal Mascot Fears

Fear of scurvy – Cap’n Crunch

Fear that Snap will kill him in his sleep – Pop

Fear of being institutionalized – Sonny the Cuckoo Bird

Fear of Irish stereotypes – Lucky the Leprechaun

Fear of dentist Walter Palmer – Tony the Tiger

 

Five Game Shows In Hell

The Price Is Right Up Your Colon

Name That Festering Mass

Squeal Or No Squeal

Who Wants To Be Chamillionaire?

Cash Cab

 

Five Rejected Care Bears

Sleazytime Bear

Inoperable Bear

Big Hairy Bear

Exeunt Pursued By Bear

Shhh! Our Little Secret Bear

 

Five Ways The World Would Be Different If Pop-Tarts Were Legal Tender

Kellogg’s would be the new US Mint

Banks would smell awesome

“Crazy Good” replaces “In God We Trust”

Anyone caught with Toaster Strudel would be jailed for counterfeiting

I would be broke because I’d eat my entire savings account