Posts Tagged ‘Fathers’

Bittersweet Sixteen

August 21, 2016

On my 16th birthday, my dad said he had something special for me and we drove to another town where we checked into a motel. Dad left me on my own and said my surprise would be arriving soon. I sat there on the bed and watched MTV.  

Eventually, there was a knock on the door. I opened it to find a beautiful woman who said she was my birthday present from my father. She came into the room and undressed me and then told me to go start the shower running and that she would give me a surprise I’d never forget. I quickly ran into the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting the water run nice and hot. However, when I left the bathroom, the woman was gone. And so were my clothes. The motel room door was wide open and I could see people outside pointing and laughing at me.

My father never came back to the motel and I had to make an outfit out of bedsheets and pillowcases just so I could walk home twenty miles in the rain. When I finally got home, my dad laughed and said it was all a harsh lesson in life and that no one ever gets what they want no matter how near they come to it. 

We were never very close after that, me and the old man.

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FIVE RANDOM FIVE (Father’s Day Edition)

June 19, 2016

Five People I Wished Were My Dad When I Was A Kid

Steve Douglas (Fred MacMurray on My Three Sons)

Evel Knievel

Captain Kangaroo

James Bond

Paul Lynde (yeah, I know – but at the time …)

 

Five Things My Father Never Taught Me

How to ride a bike

How to fish

How to manage my finances

The birds and the bees

How to find him when he went away

 

Five Dad Cliches

I don’t pay to heat the whole neighborhood.

Because I say so!

Go ask your mother.

I brought you into this world – I can take you out!

Let’s not tell your mom about this, okay?

 

Five of My Favorite Fathers

Father Time

Father Ted

Father Christmas

Father Guido Sarducci

Father Goose

 

Five Fictional Characters with Severe Daddy Issues

Oedipus

Hamlet

Luke Skywalker

The singer of Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone

The Huxtable Kids (totally in retrospect, of course)

 

FIVE RANDOM FIVE (Father’s Day Edition)

June 21, 2015

Five People I Wished Were My Dad When I Was A Kid

Steve Douglas (Fred MacMurray on My Three Sons)

Evel Knievel

Captain Kangaroo

James Bond

Paul Lynde (yeah, I know – but at the time …)

 

Five Things My Father Never Taught Me

How to ride a bike

How to fish

How to manage my finances

The birds and the bees

How to find him when he went away

 

Five Dad Cliches

I don’t pay to heat the whole neighborhood.

Because I say so!

Go ask your mother.

I brought you into this world – I can take you out!

Let’s not tell your mom about this, okay?

 

Five of My Favorite Fathers

Father Time

Father Ted

Father Christmas

Father Guido Sarducci

Father Goose

 

Five Fictional Characters with Severe Daddy Issues

Oedipus

Hamlet

Luke Skywalker

The singer of Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone

The Huxtable Kids (totally in retrospect, of course)