Snakes. Why’d It Have To Be Snakes?

There’s a snake loose in the North Carolina. Not just any snake – a cobra. A zebra cobra. A seven-foot-long freakin’ escaped zebra cobra! Someone in a North Raleigh suburb had it and left the cage open or looked the other way while death on no legs slithered out the back. Granted, I’m relatively safe about 20 miles away but what if the snake catches an Uber? Or high-jacks a party bus? Yes, it sounds implausible but who the hell thought we’d end June 2021 talking about a deadly viper on the lam? See, this is why we can’t have nice things. And why we shouldn’t have venomous things. You catch sight of a serpent in the desert that could kill you with a sideways glance then you LEAVE IT THE HELL ALONE! Don’t grab it, don’t shove it in a box and don’t ship it FedEx half way across the planet and put it in a display case for your slack-jawed yokel friends to gape open-mouthed at! Leave it where you bloody well found it! Otherwise, fast forward a few years and you’ve got an empty cage and everyone in the Triangle and most of the Eastern seaboard standing on chairs and screaming like schoolgirls if they spy an errant jump rope or twig or garden hose. And did I mention it’s a cobra? There’s no such thing as a good cobra! Whether it’s the Stallone film or the GI Joe enemy or the malt liquor or the Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act, it’s all bad. So, please, exotic creature wranglers, herpetologists, animal control experts, Newt Scamander wannabes – whoever has a spare moment and a net in the Tar Heel State, do us all a favor and catch that damn snake! I want to get down off this chair sometime in the calendar year.

August 8 Trivia Rankings

A little rain couldn’t keep the diehard Quizlings away! Thanks to all who came to play. The Dog Days of Trivia continue and I got to see some wonderful puppy pics this week. Next week: your exotic pet photos. But no spiders. (You think I’m joking? Try it, matey. I don’t want to see any arachnids unless one’s about to give me radioactive spider powers.)

I think we’ll raffle off that #DogDaysOfTrivia gift basket on September 29 – the date we’ll observe our ninth anniversary! Make plans to come out and celebrate with us!

This week, we talked of gassy muses, Potter siblings and animated Emmy noms. Plus there was this swingin’ musical number…

Now here are this week’s team rankings. See you next week, Quizlings!

Lynn’s Treehouse	63
Is This Ostrich Jacket Weather?	60
Rain, Rain, Go Away	59
We Asked Glen To Help Us Come Up With A Team Name And He Said F Trump	57
Betsy’s Mind Is Like Her Yacht –  Lost At Sea	55
Aces And 8s: Donald, Your Order Is Ready	55
The Meat Sweats	52
Don’t Tariff Me, Bro	50
Is There A Lightning Round?	50
Tesla’s Trvial Team	49
The Poppyseed Defense	49
The Answers Are On Vacation	49
ICE, ICE, Baby Jails	48
If You’re Not Eating Crayons, What Are You Doing With Your Life?	47
Salami Milk	47
You’re A Quizard, Harry!	46
216 Hours Til College	45
Jacrispy	43
The Cure For Our Rainy Day Is Ice Cream	40
Pawnee Goddesses	40
Conspiracy Theories	31
Gorilla Biscuits	30