Posts Tagged ‘Dr. Scholl’

FIVE RANDOM FIVE

May 29, 2017

Five Dog Songs

Collar Me

Walkies On Sunshine

Harlem, Shake! Good Boy!

You Can Call Me Alpo

Who Let The Us Out?

 

Five Lesser Known X-Men

The Toolverine

Liceman

The Breast

Charlie Pryde

Pubcrawler

 

Five Historical Game Shows

Let’s Make A New Deal

Are You Smarter Than A 5th Columnist?

Battle Of The Network Tsars

Beat The Hippie

Vlad, Vlad … Don’t Impale Me!

 

Five Foot-Based Phobias

Fear that big toe will dislocate during sleep

Fear two feet will fuse into one massive psuedo-foot

Fear of stinky heels

Fear plantar fasciitis will become de rigueur

Fear that Dr. Scholl isn’t really a doctor

 

Five Really Stupid Conspiracy Theories

The moon landing was real but the moon was fake

Squirrels can read the minds of nuts

The documentary “Inside Job” was, in fact, an inside job

Chemtrails are really lines of coke for God

ED drugs were created by the government to mind control the flaccid

FIVE RANDOM FIVE

July 5, 2016

Five Dinosaur Musicals

Bye Bye Archaeopteryx

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Triassic Period

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Triceratops

Pump Boys and Dimetrodons

Bring In Da Noise/Bring In Da Fukuisaurus

 

Five One-Hit Wonders I Always Sing Along To

Love Plus One

The Night Chicago Died

Cotton Eye Joe

Indian Reservation

It’s Raining Men

 

Five Tyler Perry Movies I’d Like to See

Madea Goes To Hell

Why Did I Eat Curry?

Madea’s Family Dismemberment

Tyler Perry’s House of Flying Daggers

Madea’s Big Inoperable Tumor

 

Five Foot-Based Phobias

Fear that big toe will dislocate during sleep

Fear two feet will fuse into one massive psuedo-foot

Fear of stinky heels

Fear plantar fasciitis will become de rigueur

Fear that Dr. Scholl isn’t really a doctor

 

Five Birthday Party Faux Pas

Candyless piñata

Passing wind during pin the tail on the donkey

Playing Dead Kennedys during musical chairs

Hitting on best friend’s mom during opening of the gifts

American Pie-ing Cookie Puss