Posts Tagged ‘Charity’

Ghosts of Christmas WTF

December 15, 2019

I was out and about earlier which is strange for me because I’m often out but never about (or vice versa) and I found myself in a Barnes & Noble. Why was I in a Barnes & Noble? The obvious answer would be “books” but when am I ever obvious? I was gift wrapping for charity, if you must know, but all that really and truly is beside the point. (Charity says Hi, by the way.)

The bookstore was of course playing Christmas music, primarily because A) it’s the holiday season and B) the atheists haven’t truly found their musical niche yet. Well, the song that was playing at this particular moment was the old standard It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year by Andy Williams. A less objectionable tune to my sensibilities than, say, Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree or Feliz Navidad, both of which make me want to travel back in time and squash the rising of early Christianity to ensure I will never ever hear them again. (Of course, even then I’ve read enough sci fi and watched enough Twilight Zone to know I’d return back to 2019 to hear Brenda Lee singing Rockiin’ Around the Saturnalia Shrub or maybe Jose Feliciano’s Feliz whatever the hell the Spanish word for Solstice is.) (more…)

August 19 Trivia Rankings

August 22, 2019

Rain, rain, go away … come again on Arbor Day. You know Arbor Day, right – the day all the ‘andsome sailors ‘ang out by the docks. Thanks to all the Quizlings who braved the damp conditions to play our brand of triviawesomeness. We’ll do it again next week as the Dog Days of Trivia continue. Donate to a certified 501 (c) animal charity, show me proof and you can get a raffle ticket for our end-of-summer drawing!

This week, we dealt in Harry Potter spoilers (Voldemort is his dad!), Tay Tay kitty names (Burn After Reading is a horrible name for a pet!) and Fresh Prince solo fare (keep the roof blazing!). Plus there was this not-totally-made-up TV series…

Now check out this week’s teiam rankings (seriously, how’d that get there?)…

Disloyal Jews 70
Delusions of Greenland 67
Spider-Man: Far From MCU 64
Melania Concerned About Second Coming 61
If We Win, Greenland Is Ours 60
We’ll Swap DC For Greenland 60
Hot & Nerdy 59
Who Are These Kids and Why Are They On My Bus? 59
We Are Not Emu-sed 58
Hi, Dalmatian, What Number Are You? 58
The Team That Recycles 55
Insert Current Event Here 54
Cabbage Patch 52
Spider-Man Reboot 4 52
Greenland 52
I Got Nothing, Bro 49
The Outie Belly Button 44
Your Mom’s Illegitimate Children 40
Purple Rain 31

Help Less

July 14, 2015

I keep seeing this commercial for some organization out to help third world children. They’re not breaking any new molds; the doom and gloom pleas of “only YOU can help” have been around since Sally Struthers first peeled an onion. But they always irk me for their basic disingenuity. For instance, in the ad I keep seeing, there’s some kid from Paraguay named Jose (the name and the country have been changed to protect the innocent, but primarily because I don’t remember them exactly) who’s getting water from a puddle that looks like it was defecated in by fraternity pledges with the type of stomach virus that makes Legionnaires Disease look like sour belly. The announcer plaintively intones, “Who will help Jose?” And all I can do is scream at the screen, “How about the damn cameraman?! HE’S RIGHT THERE!!!”