Posts Tagged ‘Chapel Hill’

Cruller Fate

September 5, 2017

I was driving through Chapel Hill yesterday and I saw an older gentleman jogging. He appeared to be in his sixties and he was making his way slowly but steadily, huffing and puffing along a sidewalk. When I first saw him, I thought, “Good on you, mate! Way to keep it active in your senior years.” Then as I got nearer to the sexagenarian jogger I noticed the striking expression on his face – nothing but agony and misery. My kudos quickly turned to something along the lines of “poor bastard.” But I drove on and not ten seconds later passed a Dunkin Donuts where I spied a similarly aged man sitting outside the establishment eating a pastry. The look on his face? Pure joy. Unadulterated bliss.

So what did I learn from this unexpected but ever so appropriate juxtaposition? One man’s pain is another’s pleasure? Make the most of your retiring years? Enjoy every second? Good health is worth the effort? Nope, nothing so insightful. The lesson is simply this: Donuts is tasty and exercise sucks. But I think I knew that going into the experience, didn’t you?

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“I’ll have a dozen assorted to go, please.”

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An Open Letter To That Woman In Chapel Hill

January 27, 2017

Hey, Luv. I appreciate that you live in Chapel Hill. I know it’s a bastion of unadulterated liberalness. That’s what I love about the town. Hey, I went to school there. I know. I am one of you. 

But, lady, seriously. It’s time to take the Kucinich 2008 bumper sticker off your Subaru. Just need to scrape it right off. Maybe use some WD-40. 

Keeping it on this long doesn’t make you an idealist, it just makes you pathetic.