Posts Tagged ‘Capitalism’

Give Them A Foot …

July 24, 2017

There’s a sign up at my apartment complex’s mailboxes that read as follows:

YARD SALE

INSIDE APT. #113

JULY 29, 8am to noon

Forgive my penchant for accuracy but if it’s going to be held inside your apartment then it’s NOT A YARD SALE!! A yard sale must, ipso facto, be OUTSIDE. I’ll even allow that you technically don’t have to have it in a yard, but it damn well better be outside! 

If you’re having a yard sale inside your home then you’re basically just one step away from having a break in.

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If Life Gives You Lemons…

July 14, 2017

It’s happened again.

lemonade_stand

Every summer there’s at least one story about some kid somewhere in these United States of America who sets up a lemonade stand and runs afoul of “the man.” You know, some bureaucrat who wants to rain on some poor snowflake’s free trade parade by citing laws and ordinances and zoning and sanitation and crap. Bad, bad Big Brother and its rush to squash the hopes of some moppet with grand plans and a pitcher of sour, lemony goodness in a front yard or at the end of a cul-de-sac. Let wee Susie sell her delicious refreshment, the public cries! Leave little Larry alone and allow him to learn the free enterprise system in a wholesome and innocent way!

Of course it’s all utter shite. (more…)

Misfortune Cookies

February 28, 2017

A word of warning. Never haggle with a girl scout over the cost of Savannah Smiles. They budge on price as much as Carmax does. Plus they get stroppy when you try to pull the Jedi mind trick on ‘em. “I think these cookies are $2 per box and not $4.” Nope, doesn’t work. And they are much shorter than you are, so when they kick – ouch.

Not saying I got into a scuffle with a gaggle of Brownies outside Old Navy. I’m just saying it wasn’t the best day ever.