Posts Tagged ‘Breakfast Cereal’

FIVE RANDOM FIVE

December 4, 2017

Five Failed General Mills Monster Cereals

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Honey

Invisible Man Berries

Zombie Toast Crunch

Godzillalicious

Creature from the Bran Lagoon

 

Five Zebra Fears

LionsHyenas

Stripes make them look fat

Global warming

There’ll be a Racing Stripes II

 

Five Autocorrects for Dirty Words

Batch

Peninsula

Tattle

Vagus nerve

Madden Football

 

Five Regrettable Purchases

The Boogie Bass

Stale Girl Scout Cookies

Bell bottoms

Rental insurance

Ticket for The Emoji Movie

 

Five More Ways To Leave Your Lover

Just stop tryin’, Ryan.

Hit yourself repeatedly with a rake, Blake.

Hide in a closet and be really quiet, Wyatt.

Take off on a stolen Schwinn, Flynn.

Cook her up in a pot and eat her, Peter.

 

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FIVE RANDOM FIVE (Game Of Thrones Edition)

August 7, 2017

 

Five Lesser Daenerys Targaryen Titles

The Bellicose Blonde

She Who Must Be Obeyed

Westeros’ Top Model

Queen of All Double Dragon Players

Terminator Genisys Apologist

 

Five George R. R. Martin Excuses For Not Writing

Windows 10 keeps crashing

Writer’s block … or brain freeze … er, which one do you get from eating ice cream?

Even I can’t keep all these meshuga characters straight

Trying to research the sex scenes but no one will have sex with me

I just love to make slobbering fanboys wait

 

Five Things Jon Snow Will Never Say

Enough fighting – let’s mamba!

I’m all out of Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific!

That wall looks a little high … and I’ve got a touch of vertigo.

Kiss me, Littlefinger.

Holy crap – I really do know nothing!

 

Five Game of Thrones Breakfast Cereals

Wester-Os

Hodor Puffs

Unsullied Oats

Raven Bran

The Cereal Has No Name

 

Five Things A Dumb Guy Watching GoT Says 

I’m not sure them dragons is real.

If it’s winter why don’t they just put on a sweater?

If my sister looked like Cersei, I’d do her too.

Where the hell’s Gandalf?

I wish “Ballers” was on.

 

MY TEN FAVORITE CEREALS I’VE NEVER EATEN

August 6, 2014

I’ve eaten a lot of breakfast cereals in my life. Sugary sweet corn pops, crunchy bran flakes, fruit-infused smacks and nuggets. There was a time when a day wouldn’t go by that I didn’t cram some graham into my gob. Ah. But for every Freakies and Pink Panther Flakes, there’re dozens of cereals I’ve never savored, yet think of fondly. Here are the Top Ten.

Quake. In the early 70s, kids were treated to a friendly, frenzied competition between a space alien with a propeller on his head and a broad-jawed, caped miner. It was the generation of Quisp vs. Quake, two Quaker cereals that still provoke fierce devotion from former devourers. Me, I was a Quisp kid. (Hey, he was a freakin’ ALIEN! That’s so cool.) I never tried Quake, but I always had a respect for the big lug.

Cocoa Puffs. God, those commercials made me nuts. (more…)

Part Of This Nutritious Query

March 17, 2014

Is Fruit Brute vulnerable to silver? Can Count Chocula be killed by a stake through his heart? Does Frankenberry run in fear from fire? And what’s up with Boo Berry? Is he Peter Lorre’s ghost or what?

Dammit, my breakfast demands answers!