Had a bandage on my hand the other day due to a minor injury and some nosy git at a convenience store asked me how I hurt myself. “Shaving,” I said. “You shave your hand?” he shot back. I looked at him like he couldn’t do rudimentary math and told him, “I didn’t say I was shaving myself.” Yeah, that shut him up.
If you weren’t at trivia this week, you were probably at an ACC game. I mean, that’s got to be the only reason you weren’t there, right?
Those who did make it learned about the different names of Girl Scout cookies, Star Wars early bird specials and some very tough television. Speaking of which, Richard Belzer’s Detective John Munch appeared in the following TV series – Homicide: Life On The Streets, Law & Order: SVU, Law & Order, Law & Order: Trial By Jury, The Beat, Arrested Development, The X-Files, 30Rock and The Wire. Oh, and …
Please take a moment to nominate Tomato Jake’s for Best Trivia in Durham County at indyweek.com
Now here are the week’s rankings. How’d your team do?
|We’re Expecting … To Win!||62|
|Han Shouldn’t Fly Solo||59|
|We’re Enemies Tonight||58|
|Sparky’s Erotic Fanfiction||59|
|Who’s Been Putin Poison In My Porridge?||49|
|We’re Expecting … But Not To Win||48|
|We Have The Best Planets||44|
|Hamilton Is Coming – Better Tell Burr||40|
|There’s Always Money In The Banana Stand||32|
|Garlick Not My Problem||27|
It’s President’s Day. (Or is that Presidents Day? Maybe Presidents’ Day?) That’s why we here at THE FLEHMEN RESPONSE thought it a perfect opportunity to look back and reflect on those men who held the highest office in our land. What should you, as an American citizen, know about them? The important, salient points? The stuff Ken Jennings knows? Easy. Here it is, the four-one-one on the men who wouldn’t be king.
George Washington. First president. Wooden teeth. Chopped down a cherry tree. Once did it with Betsy Ross on an early version of Old Glory.
John Adams. Federalist. First President to occupy the White House. Had a fetish for powdered wigs.
Thomas Jefferson. Wrote the Declaration of Independence. Acquired the Louisiana Territory from Napoleon. Dispatched Lewis and Clark. Came down with Jungle Fever.
James Madison. Started the War of 1812 so that Johnny Horton could have a career in 1959.
James Monroe. Remembered for the Missouri Compromise, which admitted Missouri to the Union as a slave state, pairing it with Maine, a free state, and barring slavery north and west of Missouri forever. Oh, and he was remembered for the Monroe Doctrine, which states – um, never mind, just remember him for the Missouri Compromise. Read the rest of this entry »
There was a time when people hated other people for thing like their beliefs and the color of their skin… but we’ve, of course, evolved beyond all that silliness.
Nonetheless, I thought it a good time to relive a Tom Lehrer favorite here as he sings about National Brotherhood Week. If the references seem a wee bit dated, please understand the song was first performed over 50 years ago. (Yes, people were funny even way back then.)
Best In The Triangle nominations are up and running. Please take a moment to nominate Tomato Jake’s for Best Trivia Night in Durham County. Go to indyweek.com and click on the banner at the top right. Follow the instructions and show us some love, please.
Thanks to all those who came out to play this week. The rest of you were missed. Don’t stay away too long, okay? I love all my Quizlings but I think I love the regulars a little bit more.
We sprung forward, made cereal talk and translated French fairy tales. Oh and there was a bloke that broke the plaster ceiling at American Girl…
Now here are the week’s rankings…
|Roses Are Red, Ah, Who Gives A Crap||70|
|Dear Canada, Can We Trade?||67|
|Moana Goes To Guantanamo||66|
|Spice Up Your Wardrobe At Nordstrom||66|
|Any Name That Will Win Us Candy Except For Zagnuts||65|
|SCROTUS, So-Called Ruler Of The US||63|
|Tip Of The Iceberg||59|
|Cupid’s Broken Arrow||58|
|Every Parking Space Is A Pull Through If You Try Hard Enough||58|
|You’re A Quizard, Harry||54|
|Hello. It’s Me||46|
It’s still not too late to send some UNFORTUNATE VALENTINE’S DAY CARDS!
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.” – George Bernard Shaw
As a matter of fact, Uncle Stanley did just that at a family reunion once.
He wasn’t well.
And he’s been locked up for a long time now.
What a lovely night for trivia, Quizlings. Feels like spring is here and we’ll be sitting outside before we know it – of course, as long as the weather cooperates [Sparky sticks another pin in his Greg Fishel voodoo doll].
What did we learn this week? Scott Bakula did not star in a plural TV show, Sudoku math is not that hard and Milo Ventimiglia is hot (although we may already have known that last one). Plus there was this morsel of tastiness…
Now here are this week’s trivia rankings…
|We Came Here To Eat Pizza and Win Trivia – And We’re All Out Of Pizza||68|
|From Deflategate To Jerseygate||66|
|DeVos Stated We Don’t Have Enough $ To Be Education Secretary||61|
|Radical Moose Lambs||60|
|We Will Not Be Deturd||60|
|We Can’t Come Up With A Team Name||59|
|Alternative Fact: We Always Win||58|
|Trump Wants That Easy D||57|
|Cam’s Best Super Bowl Performance||55|
|RIP Boiled Water – You Will Be Mist||54|
|Big Mistake, Yuge||48|
|It’s Been 2 Years||47|
|I’m With Cupid (arrow)||47|
|The Prodigal Team||46|
|Grizzlies For The 2nd Amendment||45|
|Setting My Phone To Falcon’s Mode … No Ring||36|
Five Batman Mistakes
Not getting over the death of his parents
Not adopting Dick Grayson
Nipples on the Clooney Batsuit
Everything Adam West
Five Really Lame But Kinda Useful Superpowers
Ability to keep Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia from melting (once it’s been scooped into a bowl only)
Power to keep dogs from defecating on your lawn by emitting powerful pheromone that alerts canines to your dominance
Can tell the age of a wine by listening to it being poured
Cablekinesis (can turn Time-Warner DVR on & off from across the room without a remote)
Talent to detect what a person ate by sniffing their passed gas
Five Rejected Avengers
Captain America Ferrara
Hawkeye Pierce, MD
The Black Window
Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELDS & YARNELL
Five Comic Book Sound Effects I Recently Read
Five Spider-Man Complaints
Web shooters run out of fluid at inconvenient times
People think spiders are insects
Reporters forget to hyphenate name
Sweaty mask = oily T-Zone
Mary Jane rarely lets him “hit the jackpot” anymore
When I was really, really young, like around 3 or 4 years old, I wanted to be a rooster. People would say, “What do you want be when you grow up?” And I’d say, “A rooster! Cock-a-doodle-do!” Some might think that this was all some great big Freudian mess, but it really was nothing more than I liked the sign at the old Colonial Grocery Store near our house. The mascot was a stylized rooster and it was all brightly lit up at night atop the store’s façade. No great mystery. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop Matt Feldspar from using it as the basis for an embarrassing verbal assault all throughout high school when, thinking it might be an endearing personal tidbit, I mistakenly revealed it during a “get to know me” exercise in Sophomore World Civ. It’s not that I’d led a sheltered life, but I’ll be damned if I knew there were that many slang terms for the male anatomy and that each one could be so effectively woven into an eager bully’s repertoire.
Young Sparky’s Future Shame