No Love

According to a government study, students who took part in sexual abstinence programs were just as likely to have sex as those who did not. Basically, this means the nearly $2 billion the federal government spent on abstinence-until-marriage education since 1982 may have been completely wasted.

Say, I got an idea. You want to keeps kids from having sex? Give ’em braces and glasses and then make ’em join the chess club, read comic books, play D&D and watch sci fi. Trust me: No one will even give them a glance sexually. Hey, it worked for me! (And you’re welcome, federal government! You can make that $2 billion check out to Sparky MacMillan.)

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