FIVE RANDOM FIVE

Five Snap, Crackle & Pop Associates

Pow

Wham

Plop

Pffft!

Kazoowie

 

Five Sins of Omission

Not telling the kid he’s adopted

Keeping your opinion to yourself

Letting her think you went to Jared when you didn’t

Not admitting you can’t drive a stick

Letting others blame it on the dog

 

Five Things That Kind of Sound Like Pickles

Pimples

Kellie Pickler

Pixels

Pimp Canes

Pippa

 

Five Questions You Don’t Want To Hear In An Elevator

I wonder what would happen if the cable suddenly snapped?

Will you hold me like there’s no tomorrow?

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?

Phew! What did you have for dinner last night?

Would you like a free hernia check?

 

Five Earth Day Faux Pas

Pamphlet bombing a mall parking lot to promote your event

Showing An Inconvenient Truth at an RNC gathering

Dancing on the grave of Rachel Carson

Having Nickelback perform

Burning “Save the Earth” into an old growth forest so it can be seen from space

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